CGPS - 💙 Out / In Launches

Managing Outgoing - Launch
Sharing the Good News (Part 1)

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2) "Launch" - Share Your "Managing Outgoing" Good News With Your Spouse

1) Sit knee to knee with your spouse.

2) Putting your right hand on his or her heart (or holding his or her hands in yours):

“_________________ (spouses name) “From now on, with any kind of sensitive or difficult subject, I promise to pay close attention to principles that foster peace in me and between us. Furthermore, I will take my upsets to God and/or my Request List so that I can bring my love and my specific requests go to you.

In all of this, I am training my mind to first connect with my trust in your love and then talk through and/or solve issues.

With this commitment, I look forward to many peaceful conversations, where, absent of accusation, anger or judgement, we can discover where we might have gotten lost and how best to return to each other.”

3) Take a 10 to 30 minute walk sometime later with your spouse (ideally, same day) to talk about the Request-List Protocol. You could also share about “Relationship Cleanse" if you've started it.

Talk about something that has struck you about all of this. Make your share just about you - your feelings and perspective. Nothing you say should imply anything about your spouse. Do not comment on each other’s shares, other than some nods, and maybe a little “Yes, I understand,” or “Mm hmm” and/or “Thanks for sharing this with me.” Nothing more.

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Managing Incoming - Launch
Sharing the Good News (Part 2)

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🔵 Share Your "Managing Incoming" Good News with Your Spouse

Earlier, you launched your Managing Outgoing agreement with your spouse, while at the same time, opening up conversations that could improve your relationship in Nightly Check-In.

But what about those moments when your spouse falls off the wagon. It's not your job to keep him or her on the program, but it is your job to train your mind toward proactive and peaceful responses. In this sense, Managing Incoming requires pre-support- support you probably won’t get in the heat of a conflict.

It starts with sharing your "Good News."

Invite your spouse to give you his or her attention for a few minutes. Sit next to him or her, take his hands in yours and read the statements below to him or her, looking into his or her eyes as much as possible:

”___________ (spouses name) I want to give you some very important and very good news. It's in 3 parts:

1) I have never been more committed. No question about it. I'm here for you and when you need to talk I’m going to listen- even when it’s hard, I’m going to do my very best to hear you.

2) Even better news; When I am uncomfortable with our communication (no matter who's fault it is), or if I’m low in emotional space (.5 or more), I will let you know and we will have to either get to a peaceful conversation or come back to the issue later.

3) In any event, we will work through every issue we have, one by one- coming back to an issue (if necessary) as many times as it takes until we have something that works for both of us.”

This 3 point promise is core to managing incoming.

Please share this with each other as much as needed. You might even make it a regular part of your Weekly Inventory. In each occassion of sharing this, we hope you’ll sincerely appreciate just how big this news is.

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