STPHFR Model

Known for identifying emotional stimulus from action, to emotion, to feeling, to thinking, and lastly to the actual stimulus. This allows one to systematically work out his/her emotions and take the learning actions. Its definition are:

• Stimulus (S) - Event, action, experience, memory
• Thinking (T) - What are you thinking about the stimulus (S)?
• Playback (P) - What thought (T) makes you playback again and again?
• Heart (H) - What thought (T) from that playback (P) that you took into heart?
• Feeling (F) - What feeling you formed from your heart (H)?
• Response (R) - What is your response based on the feeling (F)?

There are 3 time factors for a stimulus:

before, during, after

STPHER for Emotional Responsibilities

Emotionally Responsible

You're in control of your emotion before, during, and after the stimulus for both inside and outside responses. Example:

• You know how to choose to feel rather than the superstition that things and people can control your mind and heart for you

Emotionally Struggling

You're in control of your emotion before, during, and after the stimulus for either inside or outside responses. Example:

• You practice the understanding that just because you feel angry it does not mean that you have to act angrily.

Emotionally Irresponsible / Immature

You are a superstitious weakling out to control life and others in order to control yourself. You are a devotee of both the blame game and the playing of emotional blackmail. Example:

• you blame them and “it” for how you feel: “They made me mad.”
• “Yes they did! They crawled right into my mind through my ear and took control of my mind and heart.”

Root Causing Stimulus

Depending on which types of emotional responsibilities you're currently in, chances are, you are landing towards heart (H), feeling (F) or response (R) for emotionally responsible, emotionally struggling, and emotionally irresponsible respectively.

#1 DO NOT Response (R)

If you are emotionally irresponsible person, the very first task for you is to train yourself not to response based on feeling (F). Otherwise, it is always too late to recover.

#2 Recognize the Feeling (F) that was taken into heart (H)

Now recognize the feeling that you took into heart. Try to hold and pause it for the next step.

#3 Work backwards towards (S)

In order to learn to control your emotion, you work from feeling / heart backwards towards the stimulus (S). There you can work out your ways to handle the stimulus before, during, and after it occurs.

When to Apply

Depending on complexity and your emotional energy states. STPHER model is highly suitable for post-mortem analysis for self-improvement.

For some high-energy or highly-focused emotion such as anger, STPHER model is not suitable since you will be having a tunnel vision towards the stimulus and without strong self-control, usually loses rationality. For those cases, you need to discover your own "on-the-fly" simple techniques to handle the emotion on the fly, and then escape to acquire time for cooldown and post-mortem, which is STPHER role.

That's all about STPHER model.