Controls

Being emotionally responsible is not about controlling everything; it's about doing your best managing what you can do. We will look into what you can and cannot controls. Life is better when we focus on things we can control and learn some guidelines of those you cannot.

The idea is that you only learn from things you cannot control but put your energies into things you can control.

Things You Cannot Control

These are the example stuffs you cannot control:

• The Mighty One
• Facts
• The past
• The present
• The future
• The story of your life
• The way life is now
• The way others behaving now
• Concrete or fixed limitation / restriction like age
• Anything you do not have authority or outside your capability over with

Things You Can Control

These are the example stuffs you definitely can control:

• My conditioning
• My choices
• My attitude towards myself, others, and life
• How I choose to respond to others and life
• How I cope my problems and irritations
• How I problem solve my challenges and obstacles
• How I influence, inspire, and motivate myself and others
• How I think, feel, and behave
• My self-talk, scripts, and self-stories
• My habits, understanding that they rule my life
• Anything I have power and authority over
• What I amplify, host, or repeat
• What I praise, share, or wait for
• What I have faith, hope, and cherish for
• Getting authority and power over things I do not now have over

Control Your Feed To Yourself

• You control what sensation you feed
• You control what feeling you feed
• You control what thought you feed
• You control what behaviors you feed
• You control what memories you feed
• You cannot control sensation.
• You cannot control feeling.
• You cannot control thoughts.
• You cannot control behaviors.
• You cannot control memories.

It is always your choice what to feed into yourself. You can respond:

• You can redirect many things onto different paths and so different outcomes.
• You can encourage many things to develop and increase.
• You can influence many things to exist or not to exist.
• Do it now, not future whatever.

Example of controls

• You can starve many things, for example, thoughts so that they pass and leave your mind.
• You can feed many things, for example, thoughts so that they continue in your mind.
• Your identity can feed anything inside you by attaching to it, and; thereby, maintain that thing’s life in you even after you suppress it or hide it in darkness.
• Your attention can stimulate and partially feed anything inside of you and thereby encourage it to continue.
• You can direct, lead, pull, or push on many things to influence their path.
• You can stop many things by stopping to feed them.
• You can accept a thing to stop its attraction, drama, and demand for attention.
• You can detach your identity from many things to remove their force and power.
• You can ignore many things and thereby deny them your attention.
• You can despise a thing to remove your attention, energy, and time from it.

Remember, it is all about making the choice not to mingle with things you can't control and focus on those you can.