What Is Enabling?

🚧 What Is Enabling?

In Al-Anon, enabling means protecting someone from the consequences of their drinking, often out of love or fear. But this well-meaning behavior can unintentionally prolong the addiction.

Examples of enabling include:

• Covering up for missed work or school

• Giving money that supports drinking

• Making excuses for harmful behavior

• Taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours

Al-Anon teaches that you didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and can’t cure it — the “Three Cs” — which helps members release guilt and stop trying to fix the alcoholic’s behavior.

🛡️ Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are not about controlling others — they’re about protecting your own well-being. Al-Anon encourages members to:

• Identify what behaviors they will and won’t tolerate

• Communicate limits clearly and calmly

• Follow through with consequences if boundaries are crossed

Examples of healthy boundaries:

• “I won’t allow alcohol in my home.”

• “I won’t lie or cover for you anymore.”

• “If you yell at me, I will leave the room.”

Boundaries help shift the focus from the alcoholic’s behavior to your own emotional safety and growth.

💡 Al-Anon Tools That Help

Al-Anon offers practical tools to navigate these challenges:

• Detachment with love: Letting go of trying to control the alcoholic while still caring about them

• Slogans like “Let Go and Let God” and “One Day at a Time”

• Meetings where members share how they’ve set boundaries and stopped enabling

• Literature like How Al-Anon Works and Courage to Change

You can explore more about Al-Anon’s approach to boundaries or read this insightful guide on enabling vs. helping.