Step 9

🤝 Step 9: Making Amends with Integrity

Official Wording:

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

🌱 What It Means

Step 9 is about taking responsibility through real, intentional repair—without causing more harm. It involves:

• Reaching out to those you’ve listed in Step 8

• Offering honest, heartfelt amends—not excuses or justifications

• Respecting boundaries and only making amends when it’s emotionally safe for all involved

This is not about earning forgiveness—it’s about offering truth and letting go of shame.

🧠 What Makes It Meaningful

• Brings closure and healing to old wounds

• Rebuilds trust, even if just symbolically

• Deepens your personal freedom—by releasing guilt and walking with integrity

📝 Journaling Prompt for Step 9

• Who am I ready to approach directly, and what do I want to say?

• Where might indirect amends (letters, actions, gestures) be more appropriate?

• What if they don’t forgive me—how will I stay grounded in my truth?

💬 Sample Amends Statement

“I want to acknowledge the hurt my actions caused you. I take full responsibility. I’m working to change and live differently now. I’m not asking for anything—I just want to make things right, however I can.”

✍️ Crafting Your Amends Script

Here’s a flexible template to help you speak from the heart. You can tailor it based on the person and your relationship.

text

Hi [Name],

I’ve been working through recovery and I’m at a point where I want to take responsibility for the ways I hurt you. I know my actions caused pain, and I’m truly sorry.

I’m not reaching out to ask for forgiveness or to revisit the past—I just want you to know I recognize what happened and I’m working to become a better, more honest version of myself.

If there’s any way I can make things right without causing further harm, I’m open to hearing it. And if not, I respect that too.

Thank you for listening.

Sincerely,  

[Your Name]

You can use this as spoken words, a handwritten note, an email, or even a private letter if direct contact isn’t safe or possible.

🧘 Emotional Grounding Ritual

Before approaching someone, try this:

• Sit quietly with your hand on your heart.

• Breathe deeply and say to yourself: “I bring truth, not shame. I bring healing, not expectation. I am ready.”

🌀 Indirect Amends Ideas (if contact isn’t safe or welcomed):

• Donate or volunteer in honor of someone you’ve wronged

• Write a letter and burn it as a symbolic release

• Support someone else with the kindness you wish you'd given before