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Saqer Sharif in Aden, Yemen (July 2023). Photographed by Anwar Sharif.
The Hawk
The Hawk
by Saqer Sharif
The one-syllable word stretches into two or three, growing longer with each attempt to pronounce it. It's defined as Hawk, Falcon, or Eagle (“Saqer”). A name as rare as the birds it evokes, too unique to appear in national statistics, too personal to belong to anyone but me (“Popularity”). This is what others say about my name.
My grandpa named me following the tradition—a way of building early connections between the young and old, especially since elders don't have enough time to foster bonds with their grandkids. He must have been inspired during one of his hunting trips in the deserts or valleys. We lived mostly in the desert with sheep and goats—a simple, reflective life. Like gurus who isolated themselves in caves, we found solitude in the desert, filling our free time with poetry and stories as we gazed at the stars.
My name is buttered bread—to some it’s soft and sweet with honey and to others it’s crisp and sour. It’s like a thunderbolt in the darkness of night, above a small flickering bonfire, awakening when spoken, followed by a lasting rush of warmth. Yet, for all its beauty, my name often becomes a source of confusion for others. My name is spoken slowly, hesitantly, followed by a hard expression: confusion, embarrassment, and hope—Did I pronounce it right? Sometimes I want to scream, 'SAQER! SU-QH-ER! SU-QER!'—but I smile and say it softly, watching as they stumble over the sounds like pebbles in a stream. As usual, the attempts follow with soccer, sack-her, and the worst so far, sucker, a mispronunciation that still makes me wince. From attendance roll calls to appointment check-ins, I always have to keep a keen ear out for words that start with an S—especially during my travels back to Yemen, when the flight agent struggled to pronounce the five-letter phonetic storm that made them discover new places in their mouth.
Back in Yemen, I found myself amid a desert where sheep, goats, and camels wandered. It was nothing like the media portrayed; the air was light and windy, and the colors were warm and mellow. Fruits can be picked by their scent alone, and the aroma of spices fills the air. Soon, memories of Cedar Point were replaced with sunset scenes at mountaintops that we circled in our rusty blue Lexus. My skin tanned from spending time outside, and my tongue grew heavier with the Arabic language. Unlike in the United States, leaving family and living in isolation was seen as disrespectful. Hunting and poetry, on the other hand, were greatly praised. Eagles and hawks were the German shepherds of my tribe, who were well-trained and taken care of.
In a world of names, labels, and titles, mine stands at the peak. My name reminds me of who I am and ensures I look forward to who I want to become. There are already enough wrong assumptions people make about you; the last thing you want is for someone to fumble your name.
Works Cited
“Popularity of name Saqer.” U.S. Social Security Administration Baby Name Database, U.S. Social Security Administration, n.d., https://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/, Accessed 17 Feb. 2025
"Saqer - Meaning and Origin of name." BabyCloud, n.d., babycloud.in/parenting-tools/babynames/meaning-of-Saqer-61540#google_vignette, Accessed 17 Feb. 2025.
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