Two names are better than one right? Not always.

In Scottish, “Fiona”  translates to white and fair (Redmond). Innocent and not tainted. Youthful and free. When reversed, “anoif ", and when its letters dance around, it becomes "onfia". Artfully adopted as a pseudonym by William Sharp (IES). Across the seas, it made a grand entrance in America with the Broadway musical "Brigadoon". Among a wide range of names in America, “Fiona” is ranked 357 (Redmond).

That’s merely the story of one of my names.

In Chinese, my name means pure and kind. Noble and selfless. Fine jade and beautiful. My name in reverse gnoiqiej and unreversed jieqiong (洁琼 ). A renowned young female idol donned this name, but its essence was borrowed from my sister "jieni". Unoriginal. Gentle but melancholic, calm and firm. However, not popular in Taiwan or Hong Kong (NameChef). 

I cherish both my English (Fiona Lin) and my Chinese name (林洁琼). Yet, I am predominantly addressed by my English name, leading to a faint disconnection with my Chinese heritage. I sometimes envy international students who have a Chinese name that they are used to being called by. I find it ironic that they adopt an English name so that Americans have a better time pronouncing their names while I yearn for more frequent use of my Chinese name. To me,  my Chinese name carries an elegance and serenity that I deeply resonate with.

I get the feeling that my Chinese name does not belong to me, fashioned for convenience of my grandparents rather than a reflection of my identity. This sentiment deepened during my summer visit back to China. Faced with the question of how I should introduce myself, I was stumped.  Do I give my English name or my Chinese name? Does my Chinese name sound good to them? Thankfully, my father helped me out and gave a simplified rendition of my Chinese name, 阿琼. 

Yet, another name.

Works Cited

“Jieqiong (洁琼)”. NameChef, https://www.namechef.co/cn/chinese-name/details/%E6%BD%94%E7%93%8A/. Accessed 22 Sept. 2023. 

Redmond, Pamela. “Fiona.” Nameberry, 21 Sept. 2023, https://nameberry.com/babyname/fiona. Accessed 22 Sept. 2023.

IES. “The William Sharp ‘Fiona Macleod’ Archive.” The Institute of English Studies, ies.sas.ac.uk/research-projects/william-sharp-fiona-macleod-archive. Accessed 22 Sept. 2023.