I find that my name is the perfect embodiment and the exact antithesis of who I am as a person. It seems paradoxical, but my name represents the very struggles I had growing up in the States as an Asian American. While Korean was my first language, as the years went on I lost more and more of my “Korean identity.” In the same way, the people that knew me by my Korean name diminished exponentially day by day until the only people that used it were my parents. It was reduced into two letters that sit next to my “American” name - the name I adopted to become my own, the one that I would use to help shape my identity as an American citizen. Leaving behind a majority of my Korean roots, I had fully embraced my new identity in America, and with it came the adoption of the name “Andrew.”

Adjusting to the Western world despite the culture I grew up in was a difficult task. While I shed almost all Korean identity from myself, I could never truly fit in with the kids at my school. I had outgrown the identity of the "Korean" person I once was, escaping the stereotypes imposed on me and the cultural differences proved to be a challenge. From food to social behaviors to mannerisms, I struggled to connect with my peers, and regardless my earnest efforts, full acceptance remained near impossible due to the evident differences between us.

I especially find it ironic that Andrew derives from the Greek word, aner, which translates to “man.” Furthermore, it seems to represent the occidental man: strong, powerful, and commanding. Yet, when I look at myself in the mirror, that simply just does not represent who I am (Abner). 

 As I stray further from my original goal of assimilating into the culture I was placed in, I found myself reflecting on my journey. Embracing my identity has always been a struggle, particularly in the face of prevailing societal norms that I face every day. However, upon entering a diverse college community and meeting others similar to me, I have to realize much like my name, I can never fully get rid of the two letters that represent so much of my upbringing. Instead of trying to erase an integral part of myself, I aim to celebrate the unique differences that define me. I am neither here nor there, but I’m working on becoming proud of that fact. 

Works Cited

Abner, Rhayn. “Andrew.” Andrew - Baby Name Meaning, Origin and Popularity, 7 Feb. 2024, www.thebump.com/b/andrew-baby-name.