Decision in Life

Posted by Ruslim Chang at 8:28 PM - Monday, June 23, 2008

May and Kyle are my trainees. May is a functional focusing in business inteligence, whereas Kyle is a technical focusing in middleware integration. Both of them join my ABAP training class.

One day, they asked me out for lunch, which occasionally I did with other trainees. However, unlike other times, they insist on paying the bill for me. This was very kind of them.

During the lunch, they asked me one important question which made me think hard before making my reply. They wanted to know why I didn't choose to work overseas (which will provide more financial benefits) as I have the knowledge and skill required for that. By the way - Malaysia is already overseas for me :)

I surprised them that I still had my H1B and H4 visas ready for me and family. They are are still valid if I change my mind within this 3 years. However, I dropped this option out after giving much thought about it. I told them that yes money can buy us some happiness in life, but they can never bring us the real and lasting happiness.

Actually my son likes uncle Sam very much. We ever stayed there for 9 months, where he got a chance to attend local public school there. The teacher by the name of Ms McAdam was very likeable. She was a great teacher, and my son always talked about her after school. Some time, he even argued with us, and said that Ms McAdam told him that he could do this and that. Yes, American education provides much more freedom for their students to express themself, whereas it normally is a no no in Asian culture. Freedom in bringing toys to school, speaking out your minds, asking questions before following instructions, are among other things which made my son loves to study there so much. Until now, if I ask him where he wants his school to be, he will certainly say 'Dallas'.

My wife does not mind staying in the states too. She just concern over the distance between US and our home country, and the fact that I have to travel every week from Monday thru Thursday (or Friday) from my base to the project office. This will obviously pose a challenge to her as she has to do most of the things by herself like sending and picking up my son from school, taking him to spiritual meetings, buying groceries, paying bills, etc.

And what trouble her most is whether the neighbourhood environment (where we are going to stay) is safe enough. This especially came to her mind because almost every week while we were there, criminal news were every where to find. And most of the time, the crime was commited by very 'educated' people in the community, like students and church goers. So, my wife feels very unconformtable if she has to stay alone (most of the time) just with my six year old son.

I like staying in the states too. It's a place of opportunity as many says. However, the work that I get from my sponsor requires me to travel a lot, as it's normally the case for SAP consultant.

After putting much thought into it, I come to the conclusion that I dont want to put unnecessary strain to our relationship by travelling away from my family on a regular basis. God says a man will leave his father and mother and stick to his wife and they must be come one flesh. So, family oneness is more important than the work and money itself.

Furthermore, isn't that true that most of us work in order to provide bread on the table for our family? So, if the work might create potential strain in the family, don't you think it's advisable to forgo it and not to pursue it any further? Many people may not understand this decision, but for me: family always comes first.

Life is beautiful! Let's make it meaningful and colorful!