About Leading

I went on a search to become a leader.

 I searched high and low. I spoke with authority, people listened. 

But at last there was one who was wiser than I and they followed him. 

I sought to inspire confidence but the crowd responded, “Why should we trust you?” 

I postured and assumed the look of leadership with a countenance that glowed with confidence and pride. But the crowd passed by and never noticed my air of elegance. 

I ran ahead of the others and pointed new ways to new heights. I demonstrated that I knew the route to greatness. 

And then I looked back and I was alone. “What shall I do?” I queried. “I’ve tried hard and used all that I know.” 

And then I listened to the voices around me. And I heard what the group was trying to accomplish, I rolled up my sleeves and joined the work. 

As we worked, I asked, “Are we all together in what we want to do and how we’ll get the job done?” And we thought together and we struggled towards our goal. 

I found myself encouraging the faint hearted. I sought the ideas of those too shy to speak out. I taught those we knew little at all. I praised those who worked hard. 

When our task was completed, one of the group members turned to me and said, “This would not have been done without leadership.” 

At first I said, “I did not lead, I just worked with the rest.” And then I understood, leadership isn’t a goal. 

I lead best when I forget myself as a leader and focus on my group, their needs and their goals. 

To lead is to serve, to give, to achieve together.

Once, five fingers stood side by side on a hand. They were all friends. Where one went, the others went. They worked together. They played together. They ate and washed and wrote and did their chores together.

One day the five fingers were resting on a table together when they spied a gold ring lying nearby.

“What a shiny ring!” exclaimed the First Finger.

“It would look good on me, “declared the Second Finger.

“Let’s take it,” suggested the Third Finger.

“Quick! While nobody’s looking!” whispered the Fourth Finger.

They started to reach for the ring when the Fifth Finger, the one named Thumb, spoke up.

“Wait! We shouldn’t do that!” it cried.

“Why not?” demanded the other four fingers. 

“Because that ring does not belong to us,” said the Thumb. “It’s wrong to take something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“But who is going to know?” asked the other fingers. “No one will see us. Come on!

“No,” said the Thumb. “it’s stealing.”

Then the other four fingers began to laugh and make fun of the Thumb.

“You’re afraid!” said the First Finger.

“What a goody-goody,” sang the Second Finger.

“You’re just mad because the ring won’t fit you,” muttered the Third Finger.

“We thought you were more fun than that,” said the Fourth Finger. “we thought you were our friend.”

But the Thumb shook its head.

“I don’t care what you say,” it answered. “I won’t steal.”

“Then you can’t hang around with us,” shouted the other four fingers. “You can’t be our friend.”

So they went off in a group by themselves, and left the Thumb alone. At first they thought the Thumb would follow them and beg them to take it back. But the Thumb knew they were wrong and stood fast.

That is why today the thumb stands apart from the other four fingers.

Thumb 

• Be myself, be my best self.

• Be a role model, be exemplary in conduct, be your best self, you are important

Index Finger 

• Don’t point fingers at others.

• Point directions for others (guide others), give clear directions and instructions, not point finder at others (blame others)

Middle Finger

•  Don’t be a rude self

• Strongest finger, use your strength to help others, not abusive

Ring Finger

• Commitment to self and team

• Commitment, integrity

Little Finger

•  Others first, me last

• Others first, me last (others before self), be humble

And in the end we follow them –

Not because we are paid

Not because we might see some advantage,

Not because of the things they have accomplished,

Not even because of the dreams they dream

But simply because of who they are:

The man, the woman…

We give them our trust. We give them our effort.

What we seek in return is that they stay true

William Ayot

The following words were written on the tomb of the Anglican Bishop in the Crypts of Westminster Abbey: 

"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered that the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country, 

But it, too, seemed immovable. 

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. 

And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If only I had changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. 

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world."

Have you ever wanted to say something, stand up for yourself or voice your view of things, but you just couldn’t seem to get the words out? Did it simply seem easier to “let it go”? While there is a time and place for compromises, there is also a time and place for making certain that you are heard. Even when you are willing to compromise, you should be able to express your feelings and thoughts on a subject. Sometimes, this requires being assertive, which is part of being able to communicate in a positive, meaningful way. Good communication is important to building strong, respectful relationships. How do you practice this kind of communication? Speak clearly and confidently. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do so in a courteous way so others will not be “turned off” or think you have an “attitude”. Exercise the same respect you appreciate from others. Speak in a tone that conveys that you want to both understand and be understood. When you communicate in an honest, respectful and direct manner, everyone wins.