Adversity

A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one would come up.

Her father, a chef took her into the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the third he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her he asked. “Darling, what do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs and coffee.” She replied.

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell she observed that hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

She humbly asked, “What does it mean father?”

He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected to boiling water it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting though the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” he asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, and egg or a coffee bean?”

How about you?

Are you a carrot that seems hard, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength?

Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, divorce, or a layoff have you become hardened and stiff. Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the thing that is bringing the pain; to its peak favour reaches 212 degrees Fahrenheit. When the water gets the hottest, it just tastes better. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and make things better around you. How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Once upon a time there was a seed buried in the mud.  

It was in dark blackness. It was cold and wet. It shivered. It was just plain no fun.

It was icky. It was dirty. It was muddy. It was mucky. It was stuck in the mud.

How it got there is a little 3 sentence story.

One nice breezy Fall day, it had fallen on the ground. Then it rained a little. And a deer came along and stepped on it and pushed it deep in the mud.

Life just wasn't fair. It was all alone. If only it had fallen like the other seeds in the grass, or on the log over there, or at least not been stepped on.

But what the little seed did not see was 

-        the mouse that ate the seeds in the grass

-        and the bird that ate the seeds on the log

-        and the chipmunk that gathered the seeds on the ground to store and eat all winter long.

It couldn't see this because it was stuck in the mud. It didn't know how lucky it was.

Now besides being squished tight in the mud, it was also locked in it's shell. It tried to get out of it's terrible predicament, but the Fall days got shorter and shorter. It got colder and colder too. It had no strength to get out of its shell. The mud was frozen solid, the deep snow covered it. It went through a terribly cold and dark winter.

Finally, after what seemed forever, slowly the days grew a little longer, a little warmer. The seed had work to do. It began to grow.

The water in the mud had softened its shell. Still, how hard it was to get out of its shell ! It had to exert energy like never before. It struggled and struggled. Finally it broke free.

Then it used more energy to go not up, but down, struggling to send a tiny little root through that compacted mud -- that terribly icky place. It needed something to tightly hold on to, because........

...now it had to struggle yet again with great effort to send a tiny little shoot to the light above -- through all that icky mud. Finally it was free. It reached the warm sunlight.

You would think its troubles were over. Not so fast. In a whole year it grew only a few inches, while the other plants grew by leaps and bounds, as if to mock the little seed. Every fall it lost its leaves. In winter it barely survived, covered with snow. And as it got a little taller, it had to go through windstorms and blizzards.

But one thing was peculiar. Even while it slowly grew up to the sunny blue sky, it never forgot its roots. It had the wisdom to keep growing its roots deeper and deeper in the mud.

In fact, it used every wind storm, every blizzard, every shaking, every vibration to wiggle its roots deeper and deeper into the black icky mud.

It knew the importance of a solid foundation, because it always remembered where it came from, how it had been protected and helped by the mud.

The years rolled on, and the seasons too. Each summer it so slowly but surely grew. Each winter it became a little tougher and stronger. It had little joys and little sorrows throughout its life like all of us do.

Then came the fiercest of all storms. The wind blew so violently this way and that. Trees all around were dashed to the ground, broken, uprooted, a jangled mess.

After the devastation, the sun shone once again. To be sure, it didn't look so pretty, some leaves were missing, in fact, quite a few, but that would soon be remedied.

Because it hadn't forgotten its roots as a seed in the mud, it stood there in all its glory. It had become the mighty oak tree.

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks?

 The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.

The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm. 

When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them.

God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.

Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them

There was once an oyster
Whose story I tell,
Who found that some sand
Had got into his shell

It was only a grain,
But it gave him great pain,
For oysters have feelings
Although they’re so plain.

Now did he berate
The harsh workings of fate
That had brought him
To such a deplorable state?

“No”, he said to himself
as he lay on a shell,
since I cannot remove it,
I shall try to improve it.

Now the years have rolled around,
As the years always do.
And he came to his ultimate
Destiny stew.

And the small grain of sand
That had bothered him so
Was a beautiful pearl
All richly aglow.

Now the tale has a moral,
For isn’t it grand
What an oyster can do
With a morsel of sand?

What couldn’t we do
If we’d only begin
With some of the things
That gets under our skin.

There was 2 pieces of granite from the same quarry. The larger and better looking piece was known as Big Granite Brother, while the smaller piece was Small Granite Sister. A renowned sculptor bought them and wanted to make art pieces out of them.

The sculptor began his work on Big Granite Brother, who was better looking. As he attempted to chisel and sculpt Big Granite Brother, Big Granite Brother resisted the change. “It’s too painful. And I don’t want to lose my beauty.” Said the vain Big Granite Brother. Soon, the sculptor gave up and sold it away.

It was years later when the Granite Siblings met again in a museum.

Big Granite Brother looked up at Small Granite Sister and was astonished by how beautiful his little sister had become. “My sister, you have become so beautiful!” He looked at how much his sister is worth now and was even more shocked. “You are now worth millions!”

Small Granite Sister looked down at her brother. “My dearest brother. I have become beautiful, because of you. The sculptor had wanted to carve you into this likeness that I bear, but you resisted. Look at you now, you are just a common floor tile.”

Once upon a time...there was a man who was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man He had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture placing thoughts into the man's mind such as : "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it." Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure.

These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man even more. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum of effort and that will be good enough." And that he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord", he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock a half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

To this the Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when long ago I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewed, and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock."

An old grandfather was talking to his grandson who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him injustice.

“Let me tell you a story.” Said the grandfather. “I too at times have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they did. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.”

“It is as if there are 2 wolves deep inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence is intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. He saves all his energy for the right fight.”

“But the other wolf, Ahhh!” the grandfather continued, “He is full of anger. The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing, sometimes it is hard to live with these wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit”

The boy looked intently into his grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, grandfather?”

The grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed!”

On a clear, warm night, a spider found a tree to spin his web in. He worked all night to spin a big, strong web. The next morning, when it was time for him to sleep – for this spider liked to sleep during the day and come out at night – he went to bed happy, knowing he had spun the best web he could. While he slept, he dreamed of the feast his web would catch for him.

But when he woke up that night, he saw his web had been torn to pieces. The wind had blown so strongly during the day that his web was almost completely blown away. Now the spider had nothing to eat. As he was looking at his torn web, the wind came blowing by. The spider asked the wind, “Wind, why did you blow down my web?” The wind responded with two words, “You’ll see,” then went on his way.

The spider set back to work. He worked all night, making sure his web was twice as big and twice as strong. This way it would have a better chance of not being blown away. So when the sun came up and the spider went to bed – a little hungry, for he had not been able to find much food – he was still happy because he knew he had spun the best web he could.

But when he woke up the next night, his web was in pieces. The wind had blown it away again. Later that night, the wind came rushing by. The spider asked him, “Wind, this time I spun my web even stronger, and you still blew it away. Why did you blow away my web?” The wind responded with two words, “You’ll see,” then went on his way.

The spider once again got back to work – and he was very hungry this time. But he made the web even bigger and even stronger, stretching it across many branches in the tree. Surely the wind could not blow this one away. Surely his feast the next night would be grand. That morning, the spider went to bed knowing he had spun the best web he could.

But the following night, the spider saw it had happened again! The web that he had spent hours spinning – the biggest, strongest web he had ever made – was now only strings. The wind had blown it down again. When the wind came blowing by, the spider became angry and shouted, “Wind, I spun the biggest and strongest web I could! I spent hours working on it, and still you blew it down. Now I have no breakfast and am starving. Why, Wind, why did you blow down my web?” The wind responded with two words, “You’ll see,” then went on his way.

With an empty belly and tears in his eyes, the frustrated spider stared at his torn web. What would he do? Would he spin it again? Yes, he would. For there was nothing else he could do but keep spinning. All night long he worked harder than he ever had before. He made the places where his web anchored to the tree as thick as the branches. He spun until his web covered the entire tree. He worked until the sun was up, and when he was finished, he had made the biggest web he had ever seen. Surely the wind cannot blow this one away. That night, the spider went to bed knowing for sure he had spun the best web he could.

When he woke up that night, he was overjoyed. His web had completely made it! It was just as he had left it when he went to sleep. And it held for him the greatest feast he had ever seen! The spider had never felt so proud of himself.

Later that night, the wind came by again. The spider said to him, “Wind, thank you for not blowing down my web.” The wind replied, “You’re welcome. I’m sorry that I blew down your webs, but you see, if I had not blown them down, you would never have built this magnificent web. You would never have known how strong you truly are.”

And with that, the wind blew softly away, and the spider enjoyed his feast.

At birth, the baby giraffe drops 10 feet onto its back. The mother giraffe hovers over it before kicking the baby head over heels. If it doesn’t get up, it gets another good kick. It will get kicked until it finally gets up.

When it does get into wobbly legs, the mother giraffe kicks him off his feet again. It is cruel and unnecessary? To the mother giraffe, it is an expression of love. It helps newborn develop skills to move rapidly with herd when predators are near.

Debriefing Tips:

It’s good debriefing story to tell after participants have done something physically challenging to them. E.g. Inverse Tower or Indiana.

• Has anyone “kicked” you down in your life before?

• What have you learnt from being “kicked” down?

• Have you become stronger since?

• Thank the group members who have “kicked” you down to help you grow.

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the kingdom’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along, carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tied to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand: Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one’s condition.

Brian Cavanaugh

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL:
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up. 

A farmer, being at death’s door and desiring to impart to his sons a secret of much moment, called them round him and said, “My sons, I am shortly about to die. I would have you know, therefore, that in my vineyard there lies a hidden treasure. Dig, and you will find it.” As soon as their father was dead, the sons took spade and fork and turned up the soil of the vineyard over and over again, in their search for the treasure which they supposed to lie buried there. They found none, however: but the vines, after so thorough a digging, produced a crop such as had never before been seen. There is no treasure without toil.

There was once a man who got so sick of life, he quit his job, severed all relationship ties and headed into the woods for one last reflection. 

There he saw a meditating wise man and told him why he was there. 

"Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" the man asked. 

The wise man responded to his question with another question, "Look around? Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" 

"Yes", the man replied. 

The wise man continued, "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. 

On the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. 

On the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit. On the fourth year, yet again nothing came out from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit. 

Then on the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was small and insignificant. But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the last four years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. 

All this time that you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. The growth of the bamboo was no magic. Yet it towers above the fern in the end. Don't compare yourself to others. 

The bamboo has a different purpose from the fern. But together they both make the forest beautiful. The wise man then looked pointedly at the man and said, "Your time will come. Take your roots and you shall rise high just like the bamboo." 

There was once a poor man who possessed only a very small plot of land and one small bag of seeds. When his field was ready for planting, he rose at sunrise and carefully began to sow his meager crop. At mid-day, when the sun was beating fiercely on his shoulders, he stopped by a tree stump to rest. As he sat, a handful of seeds spilled out of his bag and fell down a hole under the stump.

“Well, they can do no growing down there,” the man sighed. “I cannot afford to lose even these few.”

So he took a shovel and began digging at the roots of the stump. The day grew hotter, and the sweat ran from his back and brow, but he kept digging. When he finally reached his seeds, he found them lying on top of a buried box. And inside the box he found gold – enough gold coins to make him rich for the rest of his life!

Afterward, people would say to him, “You must be the luckiest man alive.”

“Yes, I was lucky,” he would say. “I was in my field by sunrise, I dug throughout the hot day, and I did not waste a single seed.”

One day a small gap appeared in the cocoon, through which the butterfly had to appear. A boy, who accidentally passed by, stopped and watched how the butterfly was trying to get out of the cocoon. It took a lot of time, the butterfly was trying very hard, and the gap was as little as before. It seemed that the power would leave the butterfly soon.

The boy decided to help the butterfly. He took a penknife and cut the cocoon. The butterfly immediately got out, but its body was weak and feeble, and the wings were barely moving.

The boy continued to watch the butterfly, thinking that now its wings would spread and it would fly. However, that did not happen.

The rest of its life the butterfly had to drag its weak body and wings that weren’t spread. It was unable to fly because the boy did not realize that an effort to enter through the narrow gap of the cocoon was necessary for the butterfly, so that the life-giving fluid would move from the body to the butterfly’s wings and that the butterfly could fly. Life forced the butterfly to leave its shell hardly so that it would become stronger and would be able to grow and develop.

If we were allowed to live without meeting difficulties, we would not be viable. Life gives us challenges to make us stronger.

Next time you are faced with a challenge, will you let the water sink your ship?  Or will you let the water carry you to new destinations?

When you make it through a big exam, a job interview, a speech in front of the entire student body or a really big upset with a friend, you probably feel relieved – and thankful – that you did! The next time a similar challenge comes along, you have the experience of that “first time around” to draw upon. And so you are better able to believe you can make it through this one. And when you make it through yet again, your insecurity lessens, and your confidence grows greater. Again and again, as you face and conquer the hardships in your life, big and small, you become more and more resilient. Trust that no matter how difficult your life may seem, no matter how much turbulence you run into, you can make it through. Focus not on the problem, but rather on your flight.