About Fear

There once was this criminal who had committed a crime

(Because, hey, that’s what criminals do. That’s their job!)

Anyway, he was sent to the king for his punishment.

The king told him he had a choice of two punishments.

He could be hung by a rope.

Or take what’s behind the big, dark, scary, mysterious iron door.

The criminal quickly decided on the rope.

As the noose was being slipped on him, he turned to the king and asked:

“By the way, out of curiosity, what’s behind that door?”

The king laughed and said:

“You know, it’s funny, I offer everyone the same choice, and nearly everyone picks the rope.”

“So,” said the criminal, “Tell me. What’s behind the door? I mean, obviously, I won’t tell anyone,” he said, pointing to the noose around his neck.

The king paused then answered:

“Freedom, but it seems most people are so afraid of the unknown that they immediately take the rope.”

I never looked at the consequences of being a big shot. Why? Because when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.

If I’m going to jump into a pool of water, even though I can’t swim, I’m thinking about being able to swim at least enough to survive. I’m not jumping in thinking to myself, “I think I can swim, but maybe I’ll drown.” If I’m jumping into nay situation, I’m thinking I’m going to be successful. I’m not thinking about what happens if I fail.

But I can see how some people get frozen by that fear of failure. They get it from peers or from just thinking about the possibility of a negative result. They might be afraid of looking bad or being embarrassed. That’s not good enough for me.

I realised that if I was going to achieve anything in life I had to be aggressive. I had to get out there and go for it. I don’t believe you can achieve anything by being passive. I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but it’s an illusion to me.

Once I’m in there, I’m not thinking about anything except what I’m trying to accomplish. Any fear is an illusion. You think something is standing in your way, but nothing is really there. What is there is an opportunity to do your best and gain some success.

If it turns out my best isn’t good enough, then a t least I’ll never be able to look back and say I was too afraid to try. Maybe I just didn’t have it. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough. There’s nothing wrong with that and nothing to be afraid of either. Failure always made me try harder the next time.

That’s why my advice has always been to “think positive” and find fuel in any failure. Sometimes failure actually just gets you closer to where you want to be. If I’m trying to fix a car, every time I try something that doesn’t work, I’m getting closer to finding the answer. The greatest inventions in the world had hundreds of failures before the answers were found.

I think fear sometimes comes from a lack of focus or concentration, especially in sports. If I had stood at the free-throw line and thought about 10 million people watching me on the other side of the camera lens, I couldn’t have made anything.

So I mentally tried to put myself in a familiar place. I thought about all those times I shot free throws in practice and went through the same motion, the same technique that I had used thousands of times. You forget about the outcome. You know you are doing the right things. So you relax and perform. After that you can’t control anything anyway. It’s out of your hands, so don’t worry about it.

It’s no different than making a presentation in the business world or doing a report for school. If you did all the things necessary, then it’s out of your hands. Either the clients liked the presentations or they didn’t. It’s up to the client, the buyer or the teacher.

I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. That’s why I wasn’t afraid to try baseball. I can’t say, “Well, I can’t do it because I’m afraid I may not make the team.” That’s not good enough for me. It doesn’t matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart and work at it 110%.

FEAR IS AN ILLUSION

Michael Jordan 

Two seeds lay side by side in the fertile soil.

The first seed said, “I want to grow! I want to send my roots deep into the soil beneath me, and thrust my sprouts through the earth’s crust above me….I want to unfurl my tender buds like banners to announce the arrival of spring…I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the blessing of the morning dew on my petals!”

And so she grew.

The second seed said, “I am afraid. If I send my roots into the ground below, I don’t know what I will encounter in the dark. If I push my way through the hard soil above me I may damage my delicate sprouts…what if I let my buds open and a snail ties to eat them? And if I were to open my blossoms, a small child may pull me from the ground. No, it is much better for me to wait until it is safe.”

And so she waited.

A yard hen scratching around in the early spring ground for food found the waiting seed and promptly ate it.

One day, on the plains of Africa, a young buffalo named Walter approached his dad and asked him if there was anything that he should be afraid of.

“Only lions my son,” his dad responded.

“Oh yes, I’ve heard about lions.  If I ever see one, I’ll turn and run as fast as I can,” said Walter.

“No, that’s the worst thing you can do,” said the large male.

“Why?  They are scary and will try to kill me.”

The dad smiled and explained, “Walter, if you run away, the lions will chase you and catch you.  And when they do, they will jump on your unprotected back and bring you down.”

“So what should I do?” asked Walter.

“If you ever see a lion, stand your ground to show him that you’re not afraid.  If he doesn’t move away, show him your sharp horns and stomp the ground with your hooves.  If that doesn’t work, move slowly towards him.  If that doesn’t work, charge him and hit him with everything you’ve got!”

“That’s crazy, I’ll be too scared to do that.  What if he attacks me back?” said the startled young buffalo.

“Look around, Walter.  What do you see?”

Walter looked around at the rest of his herd.  There were about 200 massive beasts all armed with sharp horns and huge shoulders.

“If ever you’re afraid, know that we are here.  If you panic and run from your fears, we can’t save you, but if you charge towards them, we’ll be right behind you.”

The young buffalo breathed deeply and nodded.

“Thanks dad, I think I understand.”

We all have lions in our worlds.

There are aspects of life that scare us and make us want to run, but if we do, they will chase us down and take over our lives.  Our thoughts will become dominated by the things that we are afraid of and our actions will become timid and cautious, not allowing us to reach our full potential.

To take the first step
Is a frightening thing.
To face the unknown
The uncertainty it brings.
But like the child
Who is tired of the crawl,
The first step is
The most important of all.

It expands your horizons,
You can see a new light.
The joy of discovery
Is like taking flight.
The first step you take
Will open all doors,
To see yourself as
You’ve seen you before.

And, like the child
Who gives it his all,
Sometimes he falters,
He will teeter and fall.
But strong arms are there
To catch him and then,
They stand him back up
To start walking again.

The longest journey,
Takes one step at a time
But once you get going
You’ll do just fine.
Take my hand, friend
I’ll help you along
I’ll be right beside you…
As two we’ll be strong.

Yes, that first step’s a big one,
The most important of all.
But I’ll be there to catch you
Should you teeter and fall.
We’ll set our sights forward
Grit our teeth and walk on…
When we see that road ending,
We’ll break into a run.
But to take that first step,
Well..that’s up to you.

Rabona Turner Gordon

There was a sailor who had two sons. Both of the boys had never been to the sea and one day the Sailor decided to take them on a trip in his ship,

Their ship cut across the waves and the sun was high up in the sky. All three of them were having a good time.

Suddenly the winds changed and the sails were twisted pulling the ship down and it capsized in the water.

The boys were thrown overboard.

 One minute they were sailing beside their father and the next they were totally submerged in water.

They were struggling and struggling and calling out to their father, “HELP! HELP!” screaming for their lives.

The sailor by now had made it back on top of the capsized ship. As a reply to the boys, “You have to learn to save yourself!” he shouted.

Both of them were shocked that their father would not come to save them and their struggles increased making them more and more tired.

One of the boys was so panicked and exhausted he gave up hope and was starting to sink the sailor quickly dived in and pulled him to the safety of the capsized ship,

The other boy knew from the sailor’s answer that this was a test set by their father and no help would be coming. He was on his own.

Under the water he held on as long as he could. Kicking and pulling he shot to the surface to fight for his every breath before going down again,

Inch by inch he forced himself to move closer and closer to reach back to the ship, finally his efforts were rewarded and he grabbed hold of the ship and came face to face with his father who had been waiting for him. 

His life was threatened, he was full of fear, he did not give in and he stayed through and made it to the end the water was cold, uncomfortable and strange he managed to overcome that and he made it on his own.

The water no longer held any mystery or danger in her depths. Our boy had passed his test.

Two boys went on the trip with their father and one of them came back a man with more confidence in his step.

Until you've looked inside yourself,

you'll never know the wonderment,

of knowing just, what you can do,

of seeing who, you really are.

The depths of your courage....

The breadth of your heart....

The heights to which 

your soul can soar....

With so much magnificence

to discover....

Why would you not want to find?

When only stopping you

are your fears....

The imaginary dragons

of your mind.

From the book "And That Hero...Is Me" 

by Edmond E. Frank -- Art by Judith K. Nelson

It is said that before entering the sea

a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,

from the peaks of the mountains,

the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her,

she sees an ocean so vast,

that to enter

there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way.

The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back.

To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk

of entering the ocean

because only then will fear disappear,

because that’s where the river will know

it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,

but of becoming the ocean.

-Khalil Gibran

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear

Is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness,

that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?

Actually who are we not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people

won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do.

We were born to make manifest

the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And when we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson