The days are demanding and tiring, but also gratifying and well spent. One's duty is work but to see the good it does for people makes it worthwhile. How each day is shaped is always unique but usually they beat to the same starting rhythm.

I rise before the sun, greeted by the sounds of the early rising servants of this place, well before we nobility get up they are hard at work. From bed I begin with a meditation of self-reflection, prayer, and self-visualization----a time to seek guidance from the gods as well as recount what it is to be done and why it must be. Starting a day without this always seems to make things grueling as opposed to fitting.

After this I leave my quarters and go to meet with my advisors in the ante rooms of the royal hall. We discuss matters of state, from the management of our resources to the well-being of our people. The discussions are often lengthy, requiring careful consideration and especially an art of simplification; as the the warrior-king says the 'Dordon's Knot'. To listen intently is crucial, as what I know is never enough when it comes to matters that will shape the future of Ankrahmun.

Midday is marked by a break for nourishment, for a mind with no bread or meat is a lazy one. It is the first meal of my day as eating before will without fail make me more tired than necessary. After eating typically this time is just for me, a space alone where my shoulders can let go a bit and I tune out all that is to be done. Taking in the world beyond the immediate concerns of the kingdom is something that eases me and what I can best describe as 'refreshes me'. It is a moment of peace in an otherwise chaotic day.

Afternoons are usually spent overseeing various tasks and directives. Whether it is the construction of new building or the appraisal of foodstuffs, my presence is often required to ensure that everything proceeds smoothly, and when not smooth how to solve it. I visit my men making sure they have what they need and take recommendations from there leaders, always ensuring that the traditions of Ankrahmun are maintained while not being blind to new methods that afford an advantage we did not have before. A hands on approach is what I prefer and it helps ground me that I am working alongside these men, and not only a mouthpiece of orders.

As the sun begins to set, I return to the palace for evening meetings before dinner. These gatherings are smaller, often involving close family members and trusted advisors. We discuss more personal matters, from family affairs to the nuances of court politics; it's time that I can best describe as my day turning from blocks of well portioned tasks to something a bit more fluid and lazy, there's a dance and order to it no one obeys all the rules. Then dinner begins and we all fall into the hall. It is during dinner that I feel the pull away from court most, there's too much selfsame repetition to it compared to the last night, each meal is divine and entirely different but the thought that eternally visits me at that table is it would be better to eat medames every day as long as it was somewhere different each night---a shore inn, a caravanserai, a date orchard, or somewhere I hear of these snowy peaks and sheep and oxen with coats so thick they would boil if in the Kha'labal sun---that would be better than eating the most delectable dishes but always at this same table.

After dinner I often spend time in the library, studying the ancient texts and seeking something that will help me with the coming day. But lately I have started branching off every few nights to something more colorful I guess you should say. It brings me great comfort, allowing me to escape the confines of the present and delve into funny plays of Schylus and Tophanes, men not from my own noble kingdom, or travel logs of many who have walked the world before me.

After this I drag my feet to my quarters and after a perfunctory prayer to the gods I retire to my bed far too big for one and rate the effort of my day how quickly I fall to sleep.

I've commissioned a Mask to be made which I will present to Addaya. Before her I did not believe I would ever find someone who makes me feel what I do now. I did not know what I feel now existed----I thought it was a tale poets write in poems and singers sing at the harp and that most men mean it as lust and that women cling to it so they may bear what often falls short. However now it is here announcing itself and I cannot turn away. But for as much as we are destined for each other we are unmade for each other. Father would never allow it, and I myself struggle with the idea I am above tradition, and so for as close as we are to each other we are still unresolvedly apart. We must hide ourselves, our feelings, our wants, our hopes, all that is our love if we are to keep it.

The Mask I have requested to the smith is the finest----most elegant, most beautiful he can forge and I have guaranteed both its quality and its secrecy by pledging triple whatever he thinks it worth. This Mask will be my gift to Addaya. It symbolizes our love which is masked from the world. Everyday we each put on a mask for all who know us and it must be kept up at all times or we risk losing what it hides. A sacrifice to not show ourselves to everyone else so we may be allowed at least to each other --- to bear these false faces is worth what they veil.

Having this Mask when together will act as a constant reminder that we cannot make a mistake, that our love is a secret, and so we cannot let our masks fall or we betray that which is behind them, for if we do err --- if we become discovered --- then our true faces will be revealed, the ones reserved only for us, and our love will be no more.

When we were last together Addaya had asked me to next meet her in the Grand Hall, just behind the entrance steps. She told me she wanted to show me something, something that only she could show me and no one else. I was intrigued to say the least, not just for the mystery in question but for her giddiness----she was bursting with excitement at what she had planned; she knew I would love it and couldn't wait. I agreed of course and asked when, she said tomorrow night after evening prayer... and so we kissed as people do for something to keep until next they next meet.

The day came and went, I'm telling you struggling to keep my mind on my tasks was an understatement but overall a productive day it still was. After dinner I had prayer, shared Karkade with my senior adjudant, told him I was going for one of my regular evening strolls, knicked the Mask from under the potted papyrus in storeroom and was off. I turned the bend at the atrium, kept to the sides of the halls where the shadows lay, avoided two priests bickering, and was in the upper entrance of the grand hall before twenty minutes were up; during it though I thought I distinctly heard something down the hall behind me but when I went back and investigated nobody was there.

I slowly lowered myself down the steps (as always careful not to make a sound) with the mask scratching at my backside, tucked into my waist until at the foot of the stairs --- making sure to keep my eyes peered for who could be about. As soon as I landed at the bottom of the stair some creature jumped at me out of the shadows and I screamed before I took control of my voice----it was Addaya! I nearly buckled from the shock before a mix of rage and arousal flooded me at what this green eyed prankster did to me as I gripped her arms tightly, all the time she was busy giggling. Her mind quickly changed in its focus as she leaned into me in the dark with her eyes like emeralds 'come, this way' and we were off. We slunk in the shadows of the servants corridors that serves the Grand Hall, passing many a station and room, until finally we were at the Kitchens of Khepresh. A place rarely greeted by any noble, which of course leaves much on the table, as it is we who should most desire to be there, for the serving class are far better cooks than we and therefore could sit with a lesson or two.

Anyways, she entered the Kitchens first to make sure no one was there, with knives pots and pans like stalactites hanging from the ceiling, and when she was confident she beckoned me across. Serpenting round every table, whether butchery or sauces, until finally we came to a well. There are many sewers to Khepresh and they all lead to the same under-sewage that we use to drain all the filth and refuse away----or so I thought.

She asked me to hold the torch as her head was careening down the well and before I knew it she started to lower herself into the black pit. I immediately grabbed her with dread and she was knowingly ready with 'it's ok' accompanied by that devil may care smile she gets when she knows something I don't --- so I let go. It wasn't long before she was at an apparent bottom and she whispered loudly to me 'Ok, you now'. I whispered loudly back down the dank stone hole 'how do you go down' and she told me that there were small wooden beams that were nailed into the stonework. I tightened my waistband to make sure the Mask would not slip out during the descent and began crawling down. Only with the torch inside the well could I now see there were in fact these almost etchings of wood allowing a foothold. I was now lowering myself to a place I had never been before, never even known existed, and upon my strapped sandal hitting sand before I could have a thought Addaya pulled me in deeper to this subterranean passageway.

I asked 'Daya, what is this place?' as I looked around replacing the Mask behind my head, it anchored by its red cotton headband across my forehead --- she was guiding me towards an end room after we took a hook left.

-- "It's the old fore-entrance for the revolution, a mutiny of sorts from the slaves and servants towards the nobility..."

I immediately was horror-struck, and rigid to the spot, that the woman I loved was a criminal, worse a traitor, a dissident! ... I ... I had no idea what to do, so many thousands of thoughts ran through me pulling and wrestling my mind----and then her words continued '...long abandoned'. I seized control of myself and listened more while my feet began to retrail behind her on their own ... 'It was before my time, well...before apparently' ... she motioned towards the spiderwebs everywhere ... 'Back in the rule of Thutmose IV, there was great unrest as the people here and in Ankrahmun who served the nobility were treated horribly---- overworked, malnourished, impoverished, oppressed and downtrodden ... and so enough was enough and there started to be a resistance that was begun in secret, my grandfather being an early member'.

I cannot describe the gulp in my throat hearing all this, but I continued to listen as she had stopped before a wall and started to investigate different sections of its face with her back to me... 'But then your father---she swelled while looking at me over her shoulder with great admiration---as my father told it, Setnakht III, became Pharaoh for lack of heir by Thutmose, and things changed----he brought dignity, prosperity, and fairness to we lower classes and so quickly the will towards resistance ebbed, and this place is now all but forgotten.' At that suddenly the whole room began to shake, for while she was telling me this she had also picked up a large hammer that was sitting atop a barrel next the wall and swung it with all her strength against the face creating a great shutter reverberating through all the room and from it a hole began to widen in the sand and without a moment's blink she lowered herself again fearlessly downward. At this moment I was so overtaken with a mixture of new information and indescribable feelings I hardly had a choice, everything was in a kind of a daze and so I followed after her.

We were now in an extremely derelict room, filled with mountainous heaps of sand and no sign of life. There were a few beds, a bookshelf and desk, and casks and casks of scrolls. 'And this place...' she continued on while I exhaled, 'the headquarters of the resistance'. 'This is where all the will of the resistance was gathered, tirelessly writing about the political need of what they were striving for, as well as where all high meetings were held.' I looked around in the same disbelief I had for the previous few minutes, I was dumbfounded and not just at what I was witnessing, but the why... I was so confused why Addaya brought me here.

I turned to her and asked, 'Addaya, I don't understand.. why have you shown me this, what is the meaning. This is... .. it's .. it's like suicide --- so much risk --- it has nothing to do with us! and if anything would only supply a wedge to bring us----' she pressed her fingers to my lips in the torchlight...

...

...

I gazed at her for what felt to be forever... the light an aura to her face and her eyes like kindling.

...

She let her fingers slacken and began...

'we spend so much of ourselves hiding from the world, I don't want to hide any of myself from you'

...

I saw tears form in her eyes as it took her every bit of strength she had to bring me here---  in an instant I pulled her to my chest, her tears soaking into my shirt and hugged her with the intent to never let go. I would see her sad, I would never harm her, I would never betray her, she has the most radiant strength I've ever known.

Father is dead. His passing grieves me greatly, he never failed hisobligation to me and aided me in every way he could. But in also some way a collar has been loosened from my neck. I am now thirty, my forearms are no longer that of a boy and I have the beginning of lines in my eyes. I have upheld my promise to father, pledging the throne be taken care of by his son until his death, and I will continue it now. I intend to step down and pass the Hedjet to Seht; I have already told him.

He has of course agreed, I think he expected it from me when Father passed. After Addaya was exiled I told him what my plan was going to be when we left, that I would have left him my will and position to him, bequeathing the crown, and that I knew he was well capable. My brother weeped for me and embraced me, he gave me his overwhelming gratitude at this mark of faith in him while also immense sorrow that for me the plan could not come to pass. And so of course now it is coming to pass for the plan we already agreed on those years ago.

I... ... I.. .. .. want to make out and search for Addaya, but I am still so taken in shame at not being in exile with her, I don't know if she could even look at me let alone be gladdened by me. What if she has already found another to be with, surely she has... I walk up after abandoning her to be greeted by her two children in their yard with goats, to knock on her door and to see her face go pale at my so glorious return, only after my father is no more capable of telling me no.

But I have to don't I. What if she's not with husband, what if she has been waiting for me... what if she needs me. That's it, I have to go don't I! What's stopping me! What would she do if she was in my position, she would drop running! Then yes yes yes I will go. After the funeral arrangements and the mourning days, it's only sixty... and then.. then I'll make sure the succession goes smoothly without difficulty for Seht and then I will be free to go. Free to find Addaya and from there take whatever she gives me, ... hope, oh I hope... it will be worth it only if I am able to see her face and know that she is alright.

I will not let myself crumble in the face of my own doubts. Yes, that's it! I will make for the stables right now and tell Djenes to start nourishing the best long-range camel, there's no need to delay...