SCRIPT 13 EPISODE 13

'WHERE EVIL FOLK THRIVE'

AUDIO SHOW Here https://www.mixcloud.com/LargeAcresTriangle/large-acres-triangle-episode-13/

Intro piece begins...

Ernie. 'Ah there you are, Maureen, it's great to be back on a new episode, I knew they'd let us do another, The Triangle never rests, so draw up a chair and tell me what's new.'

Maureen. 'You won't guess what I heard the other day, Ernie, apparently it was hushed up and kept secret by certain councillors in the Hellsey district.'

Ernie. 'Oh yes, old girl, now that sounds like something for us.'

Maureen. 'It is, but there's a problem with it sadly. When they knew I was in the room it just stopped and they gave me that look, you know what I mean!'

Ernie. 'Cover blown, Maureen, never mind. So what did you manage to hear?'

Maureen. 'Well, as far as I can make out, it happened several years ago and that Football Club in Hellsey was involved in a big cover-up; one they were anxious to close before the police were brought in.'

Ernie. 'Mmm, sounds somewhat criminal, and definitely case-worthy as far as we're concerned, Maureen.'

Maureen. 'Yes it does, especially as some of those council people were involved in a cover-up... my own guess would be money matters.'

Ernie. 'Usually are, Maureen, and as I've said before, Hellsey council are not above a bit of that old game and corruption can be a sordid affair where cash is involved.'

Maureen. 'Ooh, I know, especially these village ones with certain bigwigs out for themselves. They're into manipulating results, votes and lot's more, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'Indeed they are. I know two or three of them here in Hellsey, and that's not very good or desirable, but you can't oust them out they've got supporters who just can't see what they are.'

Maureen. 'Well, I think some of them can, but they're too involved and trying to scale the greasy pole in the hope they can get a slice of the action, Ernie. So what's been happening in the Triangle?'

Ernie. 'A killing like no other, Maureen.'

Maureen. 'Oh my, that sounds very interesting.'

Ernie. 'Well, the killing of a neighbour's plant may sound trivial, but when it is for the third time in so many years, and deliberate, one must determine the possibilities and probability when evidence of such is concealed and acted out in a sort of childish manner.'

Maureen. 'Oh dear, I don't like the sound of that.'

Ernie. 'The people it was happening to, the newcomers, consulted a gardening expert, and he's ruled out 'natural causes' 'bad soil' and bugs etc, he's come to the conclusion that disease isn't likely either and that it's more likely to be a very strong weed killer that can attack from the top of the plant from a spray, and it works its way down to the roots and kills the thing stone dead in a very short time. And whoever's doing it must live in the near vicinity, very near.'

Maureen. 'Oh my, that's got to be the Poser Prince Will Hyams, he's got every reason to do this kind of thing apart from being such a boring prat!'

Ernie. 'Indeed, the likeliest suspect for me too. The gardening expert says you can rule out people living at a distance. There's too many risks involved at being seen and quite frankly, they wouldn't really have a solid motive to go killing plants that don't effect them or their property.'

Maureen. 'Yes, I thought that, and I'm thinking it's got a lot to do with that path and their hatred for the people who found out they were trying to grab a piece of land, and that ruined their palacial hopes of a poser's Shangrila!'

Ernie. 'Me too, Maureen, but you'll get no help from the others in this, the Triangle regulars like Fatman Captain Nelson supports the activities of the Poser Prince, and if need be, he'll help him out in the campaign to get rid of the newcomers.'

Maureen. 'I know, this kind of thing isn't new in Hellsey, there are several cliques around the area, and I've recently been hearing more about a copycat triangle not that far from the Acres. I can't get over the way some of these village folk react to new people, it's quite disgusting really.'

Ernie. 'Oh. and why is that, Maureen.'

Maureen. 'It's what you said about Hellsey and the secrets it hides. Marge told me about that 'Western Rd' lot, a clique like The Large Acres Triangle, two in one village, that's got to be bad luck!'

Ernie. 'Yes, I did suggest there may be more than one Large Acres Triangle, and with the same kind of folk too, but I dare say there's more around here but we haven't found 'em yet!'

Maureen. 'No, more's the pity, they need exposing and showing up. This evil lark really lives well in Hellsey, no wonder you call it the Village of the Damned.'

Ernie. 'Well, that's the best description for it, Maureen...like the people in the Large Acres Triangle, these folk in The Western Road thing are too used to dealing in deceit and evil, it's in their blood.. and like someone told me, it's inbred around this area, a sort of Mafia family type thing.'

Maureen. 'I don't doubt that at all, Ernie, I've seen some of it for myself.'

Ernie. 'Did Marge tell you about the ponsy guy, another Poser Prince who made out he was going to buy a particular house some new people had bought to act as a 'Dolls House' for his spoilt brat.'

Maureen. 'Ooh No, that's shocking, what an awful way to behave to absolute strangers.'

Ernie. 'Not to them, Maureen, it's just another ponsy jumped up prat, and you get quite a few to the pound around here, especially in the Large Acres Triangle.'

Maureen. 'Changing the subject, ... I heard something the other day, the phrase 'Lard Arse' and I was going to ask you about it, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'Well, in simple terms, my reply would be descriptive of Fatman Captain Nelson, he typifies it very adequately with the addition of slob to my way of thinking.'

Maureen. 'Ah, yes, I did think it might involve him.'

Ernie. 'Is this a run up to one of your jokes?'

Maureen. 'It wasn't going to be, but I'll try one out if that's okay, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'Take it away old girl, let's hear it.'

Maureen. 'Knock Knock, who's there me hearties?'

Ernie. 'I don't know Maureen, but it sounds sea-ish.'

Maureen. 'Well me neither, it's blocking my view.'

Ernie. 'And yes, I know who that is, it's the fatman Nelson, scourge of the seas.'

Maureen. 'Yes, I'll try to come up with something better before the end of the episode.'

Ernie. 'I've always wondered why the police didn't go and check out the Fatman's garage since he was involved in that VAT scam thing involving the booze. But, as I said at the time, he's probably got a bent one in his pocket as they say.'

Maureen. 'I'm not surprised at that, but I was taken aback when I saw it open a few days ago, it was crammed with stuff!'

Ernie. 'Oh yes, I see where you're going with this, Maureen. You think he's still up to his old tricks.'

Maureen. 'Well, it did cross my mind, and if anyone thinks he can get away with it again, it's him, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'Dead right there old girl, Captain Nelson ain't going to worry himself about being found out, not in the Large Acres Triangle.'

Maureen. 'It's quite amazing what happens in villages these days, Ernie, and it makes me think of the Brood in the Triangle.'

Ernie. 'Oh, and what got you thinking of Annie's boys, old girl.'

Maureen. 'Well, there was news of a drug bust on an Industrial site near what was considered a nice village near Bodgner, and it was only discovered because of anti-social behaviour by yobs involving just one of the units.'

Ernie. 'Ah, teens and that, eh Maureen. Those little 'butter wouldn't melt in your mouth' brats who've got everything and still want more. I guess its where they get their fix 'n' supply. and it's not that far away from Hellsey and The Large Acres Triangle.'

Maureen. 'Precisely, Ernie, and the Brood are more mobile now, because I think you told me one's got a car now.'

Ernie. 'Yes, they are, and they're more active than they used to be. There's maybe something to your suspicions, Maureen, I wouldn't want to rule it out.'

Maureen. 'Me, neither, I still recall the ducking and diving into the garage thing and other strange activities which I couldn't put my finger on.'

Ernie. 'You may well have something there old girl. They have the perfect cover in the Triangle. Wicked Witch Annie ain't gonna blow the whistle either way because she's well in with the Do-Gooders, and it's a fact they're in and out all day.....something I find rather peculiar really.'

Maureen. 'Well, according to the report, they had £250,000 worth of the stuff, and there was money laundering too.'

Ernie. 'Ah yes, cash! and around here in Hellsey the kids have plenty of cash, what with rich parents and all that. So what makes you think the Brood might be dipping their toes in the murky world of drugs?'

Maureen. 'Yes, that crossed my mind too, but I hear most kids in the teen bracket try the stuff and Large Acres isn't without sin as we well know. Those kids are into something hence the diving into the garage late at night, eh?'

Ernie. 'Indeed, Maureen, can't fault you there, one has only to look at the Fatman Nelson fiddles, so I guess we can't rule out the Do-Gooders Brood, and it doesn't stop there. I'd reckon that Witch Annie is up for a contribution so long as it's not a charity or a down on his luck traveller.'

Maureen. 'Oh yes, don't forget the Tightwads thing, you'll never forget that, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'No, I guess I won't, they're a bunch of shysters in the Triangle, and I can't say I care for any of them.'

Maureen. 'Me neither really, but there's certainly enough money around the Triangle to support a certain habit and cause, eh Ernie?'

Ernie. 'Yep, and since you mentioned it, we'll keep an eye on the situation, we may uncover a bigger story. I'm sure there is one there, so you keep following it.'

Maureen. 'I find it bad enough that Witch Annie is all over that special kid from her Brood. This awful sychophantish mush is spreading to oldies sucked into this youth adoration thing. It's like that canned laughter, false and pathetic.'

Ernie. 'Yes, especially when the kids are just milking it and showing them up to be desperate idiots who think they can interest the young.'

Maureen. 'The only thing we've got in common with the young is that we've got the money, and they want it. Oldies are paying for the so-called friendship with the kids. It'll come back to bite them, especially when they get spat out as the silly old fools they are!'

Ernie. 'It's a dead certainty, Maureen. I can't stand these brats as you well know, let alone befriend them and trust them not to rip me off. They're not worth it, they don't have morals or honour. Most of them are completely selfish.'

Maureen. 'The Witch Annie thing still makes me worry, I keep wondering how long it will go on, it's not right at all.'

Ernie. 'Well, there might be some changes on the horizon, some visitors to the Do-Gooders are getting in on the act and turning the boy's eye. So Witch Annie might not be able to keep her spell over him for much longer. Even the chosen one is getting bigger, just like the grandson she never sees much now.'

Maureen. 'I was talking to someone the other day about this film noir thing, The French Connection, which brought me to the connection between Fatman Nelson and Poser Prince, and if my memory serves me well, the Poser Prince was some kind of engineer in Marine or nautical stuff, and the Fatman was a store man in a marine parts concern before he began his trade in making stock vanish, and that's a very interesting link, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'By jove old girl, you've been brushing up on your detective stuff, that is something worth looking into. You might be onto the beginning of the conspiracy that lies behind The Large Acres Triangle, it could certainly involve the others.'

Maureen. 'I will, Ernie, I think it's that Miss Marple and Murder She Wrote with Jessica. I've been watching quite a bit of that lately.'

Ernie. 'I guess you have, but before we finish this episode there is one more strange affair, and it certainly looks like Witch Annie and others may be involved.'

Maureen. 'Ooh, that sounds good, do let me hear all about it, you've got my full attention, Ernie.'

Ernie. 'Well picture this, suddenly you go out into your garden and realise something is not as you last saw it. Someone has been doing some cutting in the garden your side of the fence. But how did they gain entry when there's a six foot fence?'

Maureen. 'Ooh, that's a tricky one, but I guess you already know.'

Ernie. 'Well not at first, Maureen, but I got to thinking about that, and as luck had it, I remembered that she had the fence replaced and got one of those posh concrete base things where you slide in the wooden fence panels, which can be lifted out whenever you wish.....and with a little help from the Bakersman or her favourite boy, you can gain entry into the neighbour's garden without them knowing.'

Maureen. 'Ah yes, just choose the day I guess is all one needs, Ernie, especially when you live next to Witch Annie.'

Ernie. 'When one's back is turned, evil will take its opportunity to practice its deceit, and such are the bent scruples of the Witch Annie and the Bakersman. Well, I guess that winds it up, Maureen, I guess you're gonna be going.'

Maureen. 'Yes I will be.'

Ernie. 'Sorry, Maureen, time just ran away, so bye for now and keep your eyes peeled.'

Maureen. 'Bye'

Ernie. 'Bye.

EPISODE ENDS.