Goatkeeping for Dwarrows

Post date: Sep 19, 2015 10:58:36 AM

---By Rumi Cudchew---

A Brief Treatise on Keeping Inbaratharâg

So, you have inbaratharâg (goats) now. And they're not quite what you hoped for, are they? No, they never are... They eat everything, and that includes boots, hats, axe handles, ale kegs, and even that special brew you forgot about in the cellar! And they like nothing better than to sneak up behind an unsuspecting Dwarf and butt him right across the hall like some flabby football.

But listen up, young Dwarrows, and let old Rumi tell you a thing or two learned from over 200 years in the goatkeeper's trade.

Yes, they eat anything, but that also means they're cheap to feed. Just turn them out on any old patch of dried up grass and see them thrive. Goats do like to be in a herd, where they can play and feed together. I've spent many happy hours watching them butt each other (and guard) right over the cliffs around Thorin's Hall, then scramble back up to do it again. And there is a point: it's natural for them to butt each other, but don't let even the youngest kid start that habit with you! Otherwise you'll end up with a horned tyrant in your midst and no way to control it.

Goat milk is always the milk of choice when trying to tempt a sick child or pet, even when other foods make them sick. Why my old sigin'adad swore by goat milk for his aching joints, though he did prefer to take it mixed 1 part milk to 3 parts mead...I'm sure it was the milk that did him the most good, though. Anyway, the nannies can give more than enough milk for yourself and your family, 3 to 4 times as much as one of those sheep that men and hobbits seem to like so much. And, since kids can be born twice a year, succulent kid chops are never out of season, unlike venison or lamb.

Now, as for care, goats are among the easiest of animals in that respect! As mentioned above, any old pasture will do during summer, but they will need a warm stable in the winter, bedded on barley straw or even sawdust from the lumber mill. This is the time to trim hooves, check teeth and brush coats once the spring moult begins. Do give them a salt block too from the Forochel outpost. I don't know why it helps, but they don't seem to thrive as well without it. And if you forget, they'll try to get into the kitchen to help themselves...

When your goat is one year old, you can begin teaching it how to pull a cart, and wear a saddle and bridle. Be aware, however, that they are masters at leaping out of pens, and even up into trees, so do this training in a wide open flat area, well surrounded by mountains.

Well, I hope this little lesson has been of some use, and that your new goats will settle into your lives and homes as easily as mine did!

*After the class has gone, he limps off to put a poultice on his bruised buttocks*