Coming soon ... Skegrym's Spice Emporium!

Post date: Nov 11, 2015 2:3:1 PM

--Sponsored article by the Tablets of Khazadgund Advertising Trust

Coming soon to Thorin's Hall! Skegrym's Spice Emporium (formerly known as the world-famous Finnvar & Sons of Belegost)

Whether you're a fashionable young Dwarf about town, a grizzled guard, a fastidious older gentledwarrow, or a matron with impeccable taste, we have what you're looking for. Come browse our latest imports from far-flung lands, brought here especially for you by our dedicated team of traders. We operate a strict policy of harvesting only the finest ingredients. Rest assured that no goblin oil, elf droppings, orc scrapings or other banned ingredients will EVER be in our quality products!

Ladies, pamper your skin with our goatmilk bath soaps enriched with heather, honey, or pine oil. Add bounce and shine to your locks with Mori's Combination Hair and Beard Shampoo. Choose from Golden Blonde, Forgefire Red, Mithril Silver, Coal Black or Wild Goat Brown. And for that special night, indulge yourself with one of our exotic perfumes, crafted from flower oils, tree saps and animal musks using traditional cold pressing to preserve the delicate nature of the scent.

*note: No living animals were pressed*

Gents, leave her with an impression she won't forget! Our patented Beard Shines come in a variety of blends: Rendered Seal Blubber gives the highest gloss; Sage and Walnut oil offers a softer shine, but also beats dandruff; for sensitive skins, try Eastern Sands Melon Seed Oil. And after a long day in the saddle, what better than a rub of Spruce Tree Emollient for those tender places?

We all know that every table needs candles. There is no entertainment that cannot be made more memorable by the right choice of candle!

Maiden's coming of age dinner? Drench the hall in rich, seductive amber, offered in individual finger size candles for wearing in one of our special Yule headdresses.

Three day celebration feast for returning warriors? Set the blood racing to tales of high adventure with one fat red Barbaric Barberry centrepiece in a bright green holly leaf ring, and guaranteed to keep on burning through beer fights, table sparring and even the warlord's endless speech!

Formal engagement banquet? Place a thick Beargrease and Cedar candle near your future mother in law, sure to numb (or at least obscure) the most argumentative relative.

Entombments are catered for, as well. Send the deceased to the Halls of Waiting wreathed in redolent Coal Tar and Warg Oil smoke. This black candle proclaims like nothing else that a warrior is on his way! Or, for the ladies, offer your farewells with spicy pepper and civet cat musk, suspended in beeswax for measured release.

Don't miss out on our opening sale! Watch this tablet for details.

*Prices on request. Bank drafts honoured with proof of identity and 2 character references. Goods may be shipped to any civilized destination at further expense, dependent on caravan space and guard availability.*