R2H3 Trail Trash #99

Trail #99 Trash - Wet and Wild

posted Oct 12, 2020

The pack mustered at Eagle Park not far from the east side of Jackson Hill, a park I had not even remembered was there. Quite a few folks came out to brave the rain. The hares, Yes They Match and NFN Byron made the decision to shorten things a bit due to the rain. A welcome change making this trail a particularly fine length.

Hares were away promptly at 3:03PM with no warnings and a promise of a beer check. After we made our introductions to the two virgins and sang about Joe to warm us up, the pack gave chase.

Right away we found ourselves in the shiggy wandering through what I believe was a very old factory now collapsing and used partially by a homeless guy as a living room. I knew the area and thought I could bust through to the other side but was thwarted, apparently like the hares, by a chain link fence and some kudzu which grabbed me and caused me to faceplant in a drainage ditch. Had anyone been there to see the spectacle it would have been a treat. I clamored back to my feet and 30 Rage Holes and I pushed to the road to find flour after climbing the broken fence.

I commented to 30 Rage that I had a bad feeling we may be running No-No. Quickly the rest of the pack caught up to us at a check and try as we might, solving it was not happening. I decided to go back from where we had come and sure enough, I found trail into the woods up toward Jackson Hill. We had, in fact, been running backwards.

A nice jaunt through the woods and onto a new trail some random muggle had been building before we reached the cliff above the scenic sewage treatment ponds. In the distance I could hear 30 Rage screaming profanities making the day complete.

All of us scampered down the cliff and apparently missed the beermunity necklace that was hanging on the fence as we were more concerned with our footing than the necklace. Slim Prickens was the first to miss it so he eventually got the long arm for this poor performance.

We crossed some railroad tracks and discovered that someone had done a fine job grooming the powerlines for us. According to Double Suck she suspected the hares had mowed it for us using their highly sophisticated and expensive bush hogs. You know, the ones all hashers need but few own.

Some of the pack crossed the dangerous train trestle over the creek only to find we needed to turn around and cross Short Black Pipe. After all, R2H3 likes it short and wide. I stopped for a photo op only to discover I was standing in a fire ant mound. Oh yeah! That was delightful. I poured a bit of beer on my feet to try to thwart them and then washed off in a nearby puddle. Turns out I was not the only one to get the ants. CBT got them too.

Trail made its way from the beercheck passed the City Barn and up onto Jackson Hill where we wound about until we broke out and headed on home: A to A! Trail was brilliant, short, fun and well marked in the rain.Lucky for us it was not cold!

Once everyone was in, we autohashed to NFN Byron's house where we circled and learned that Valcumrie and Monkey Dread had tied the knot that morning! Congrats! They also were awarded a play pen and some other baby items to get them on their way to parenthood.

Circle was long as we had two namings. NFN Byron became Vincent Van Blow - a brilliant name based on his artistic methods during self pleasuring and in case you didn't notice, that dude looks like Van Gogh. NFN Christine finally got named Oh Miso Crashy. This was a combo of things from her being a foodie to frequently practicing her crash up derby technique on several occasions - two of them at previous hashes!

There were numerous down downs and quite frankly I can not remember many. The visitors from ATL drank and sang. They have cum so often I am pretty sure they are no longer visitors at this point. We broke in the Virgin Lenora and Virgin Halley and CBT and Valcumrie drank for their educational discussion on trail regarding Valcumrie's pole.

It rained its ass off the entire evening so we were happy to have been able to circle at the alternate finish. Many thanks to Vincent Van Blow for that and, along with his co-hare, for a fine trail that busted Vincent's haring cherry.

All in all, a successful day. Good times had by all.

So next month is trail #100 and the mandatory celebeertion that should accompany such a thing.

See you there!

Hugh Heifer

"Hashing is fun! See you on trail!" - Hazukashi