R2H3 Trail Trash #102

R2H3 Trail Trash #102 - Holiday Rumble

posted Dec 14, 2020

Just on cue. Hashers gathered in the finest holiday garb (except Shitigation who did not even bother with hash garb) at the Broad Street Bridge near Myrtle Cemetery and hares, TMI and KK were away at 3PM sharp.

We were joined by four virgins: Bob, Burt, Ben and Bonnie - all of whom were made to come by El Cumweiner. They were given appropriate instructions and donned their protective vests. We warmed up with Joe and the miscreants and were off.

The pack rumbled in the d'erection of Yes They Match's residence before going to the top of Myrtle Hill where they were met with the first drink stop of the afternoon in the form of Jello shots made of Fireball. Shitigation sang a note and we were off again. Of course what would a Christmas Trail be without a masturbating homeless guy in a cemetery? Well, the hares had that covered....or uncovered so to speak. The pack braved that "shot" and made its way to River Dog Outpost for a quick beer stop. This was stop number 2. The Hares had no time for us and departed quickly causing us to quaff our IPAs and give chase but not before Hugh thrilled everyone in attendance with the holiday classic, "Walking Around in Women's Underwear."

Stop number 3 was Giggities where the pack was met by Santa who allowed the miscreants a photo before we were off again. This stop was brought to you by the very Christmasy note "Give it a Blow" and then a short jog to stop number 4.

This time the stop was Schroder's Deli and four more pitchers of piss. The pack was getting full and it seemed that Oops was trying his darnedest not to leave beer on the tables before departure. Hugh serenaded the Hares about what was found on them on Christmas Day before their departure. Moments later we gave chase through the streets of Rome.

We climbed Clocktower Hill and found ourselves behind El Cumweiner and NFN Ben's place met with a task. Each Haser was required to make a Frisbee Golf shot before receiving a shot of Fireball. While the task was not difficult, we all made a mockery of the situation and I am fairly confident that NFN Ben is going to have to get someone to get the Frisbee's off his roof. While this was not marked as an official beverage check I will give the hares credit for this one as number 5.

Once you completed your task (as often as you wanted to) and got your obligatory shot(s), you were invited to rumble down to the nearby Mexican restaurant, Mi Alazan, for stop number 5, or number 6 - or whatever. Thanks to everyone who bought beer here. I can not recall who mentioned it but although we were "tormenting" everyone at the place, I am certain they appreciated the business and the tips. I have no idea how many beers were consumed at this spot but I also noticed at least one virgin enjoying a margarita (probably why he could not shut the f*ck up in circle!) Hugh sang something and the pack trickled out.

Eventually we found our way to Paper Recovery of Rome for the unexpected and covered On In! A perfect spot to drink beer without being accosted by the local gendarmerie.

Circle was a long one yet somehow we missed that it was Aw Burnt Out's birthday. No matter, he left with a prize anyway - Lick & Felt Her's old Wonder Woman head. I guess Kosher was tired of that roll play. There were a couple of long arms passed around. As usual, the fleetest of foot 30 Ragehole got the beermunity necklace (I am not sure but I think he took it home). The virgins seemed to enjoy themselves immensely. While we tried to name NFN Ben, it was just too damn drunk out and the only good choice made all day was to shelve the naming for a less rambunctious hash day. Me So Crashy got her necklace and we apparently left Special Head's on a shelf in our dining room. We did learn that she and Boner to Go are planning on tying the knot. I guess we may have to re-name him "Boner that Went!"

All in all it was a fine day and the rain held off to just moments before Hugh recited a Hash Before Xmas to close out the circle. I can always tell it was a good Hash when Oops can no longer stay upright and is discovered on the floor beside his bed rather than in it.

Another successful day. Thanks to the hares for the many beer stops. Next trail is listed as Bella and Taint (although Taint still is unsure due to that pesky virus he is trying to save folks from) on January 9. Stay tuned for the d'erections and details.

In the meantime, have a Hashy Holiday and we will see you on trail!

Your faithful scribe - Hugh