R2H3 Trail Trash #97

Trail Trash #97 - Climb Mt. Alto -TWICE!

posted Aug 9, 2020

Trail 97 started as just any other Hash day. Gathering the softies, beer and ice, throwing shit in a dry bag and CBT putting her pants on inside out….twice.

Today’s Hares, El Cumweiner and NFN Stephen were novice but showed us all how it was done by marking trail superbly and making us climb Mount Alto – TWICE!

Trail started at the small parking lot that serves Marshall Forest off Horseleg in Rome. The lot is pretty small and I was concerned there would not be enough space but the pack was small so there was just enough room for the HHH and one old man who appeared to be missing an ear in his rape van. (I pointed out it was not the best rape van because it had windows and was big enough for the victim to escape the old guy’s pawing by simply fleeing to the other end of the van.)

The Hares were off precisely at 3pm and the pack of just seven hounds milled about until it was time to entertain raper van guy with some Joe. It did not last as long as Shitigation would have liked as the pack made the decision Joe was busy early so off on trail we sped. Hugh and Night Stalker were out front early but Hugh also expected that to be short lived and he watched helplessly as Shitigation and Night Stalker disappeared through Greenview and Featherstone. Once we made it to Featherstone in the 90+ degree heat, we were given the treat of climbing Mt. Alto via a powerline cut. And this was no easy climb. I spotted Shitigation and Night Stalker nearing the top and later learned that they had only briefly stopped at the Beer Check that was ¾ the way up because they had spotted the hares. (But seeing them is part of it – snaring them takes touching and if anyone has tried to chase a bunny rabbit through a yard they know Hares are slippery and quick. )

Once at the top, my trail buddy Valcumrie and I paused to take some photos and then were off again. Little did we know we were only a hundred yards or so from the finish. Instead we ran along Mount Alto Road to Brow Road and back into the shiggy on some old Conservation Corps roadbeds that are now nothing more than game trails but perfect for hashing. We were treated to a second beer check and not a moment too soon.

Finally, after making our way to a creek on the west side of the mountain, we met our fate: a climb back to the top AGAIN. But all things must come to an end and the top of the mountain was the Finish complete with a pool.

Once everyone made it in (including a real hound that CBT and Boner To Go managed to dog-nap) we circled. Lick And Felt Her and NFN Christine showed up late to participate in the shenanigans. Night Stalker took honors as FRB, Special Head - FBI and CBT - DFL. Other notables were the virgins NFN Ben and NFN Keri who Bimboed for the Hares. Other violations included:

CBT – Pants on inside out

Hugh – Piss poor warm up

Boner 2 Go – Stealing a dog

Shitigation – False accusation (Seeing but not snaring)

Lick & Felt Her – 10 miles in the AM = No hash in the PM

Finally, we had a naming. NFN Stephen became “Thirty Ragehole” after we learned how much he enjoys 30A in Florida. Wear sunscreen next time buddy. (Runners up were “Big Ball Handler” and “Can’t Beat My Meat.”)

We swung low and the Hash adjourned. CBT and Hugh met up with Lick & Felt her for a few beverages at the après at Riverdog where they were surprised to see TMI out for a jog with a whole host of excuses for not being at the Hash.

The Hares did a great job for #97, especially for a novice and a first timer! Well marked, the right length for a hot summer day, breath taking views and a pool ending! Damn good job Hares, I will be happy to do another one like this any day of the year. Next Hash is #98 on September 12. Valcumrie is your Hare and he has nothing planned or prepared so it will be just like any other trail!

Cum on out….”Hashing is fun! See you on Trail” - Hazukashi