R2H3 Trail Trash #18

The Edjumakator's Trail! October 12, 2013

Trail Trash #18 The 18th trail of the Rumblin Roman Hash House Harriers started pretty much like any other - sort of. The pack was anticipating not two but FIVE hares. All teachers in some form or fashion - to lead us through shiggy and to some cold beers. With an unfortunate situation on the home front, Sparkle Tits had to bail (hope all is well) bringing the hares to just four lovely ladies. There was the lead hare: Cock Block & Tackle, another seasoned hare: No Child Left in My Behind form the Atlanta H4 and a couple newbies: Tickle My Ivory and a virgin hare Aunt Germima. The other exciting news was that the Atlanta H4 was cumming to make this their regular Saturday Hash and apparently give their hare raiser a break.

The hares had made arrangements to start at Heritage Nissan and the GM there was happy to allow the miscreants to circle and Hugh to pedal his wares. (For those keeping score we are about 3/4 away from breaking even on the hab.) About 19 hounds showed including the Virgins NFN Robert (not Rob), Just Bo and Just Christine. We were also graced with the presence of long time no seer Sux 5th Avenue, the GM of the AH4 Double Rub Her and a few other AH4 folk who made the trip to BFE.

The hares were away at a timely 3:06 after giving instruction to the pack that they were to expect shots, beers and railroad tracks. Cream Me Up, who is still trying to get his stride at the job of Hashmaster, got lost in the chalk talk which fortunately was not an indication of things to cum! (I will say the addition of starting the day with a joke is a fine tradition!) Then it was a little stretching via My Name is Joe and the pack was off. We ran along GA Loop 1 to Highway 53, made a left and went directly into a creek. the pack stumbled across an eviscerated deer [BARF] and then into heavy shiggy until they reached the Teachers brand scotch shot. By the time the FRBs left the bottle was down to the bottom of the barrel of the bottom shelf bottle of the bottom of the barrel and we continued through the heavy shiggy. Trail was heavily marked and we were thankful of that as it kept the big group of front runners together and moving. Suddenly we were out of the shiggy onto the North Rome railroad track and we spied NFN Bo and NFN Christie - WTF??? Where did they come from? Were they spies? Had we been infiltrated by some sort of Taliban Hashers who claim they are Virgins but are there to capture our hares and abuse them through some bunga?? The truth be told, Just Bo has not been Hashing long enough to only have half a mind and when he heard there were tracks he made a bee line for them. Fortunately for the hares, the virgins turned On-On and we caught up to them at the beer check - which, by the way, was marked by TMI with a "BN." Apparently she was so excited to have arrived at that locale she wanted the whole thing to be over! After some cold bud lights and a smorgasbord of beers from CBT's fridge, the pack was off again and into the shiggy behind the Dodge dealership until a check put trail back on itself just on the other side of the track we ran down! The gamble paid off and as a train approached, the pack found a check below a trestle and trail leading to a pipeline. As we made our way toward the finish at the top of the water tower hill on North Highway 53, we were treated by a few jets putting on their act above the Richard B Russell Airport - I hope they did not pay for that with Hash Cash!!!! Me and Too Limp Clover of AH4 arrived at the On In first, followed by NFN Shady (also technically a virgin) and the rest of the pack. Double Rub Her took honors as FBI and Kawasukmi as DFL (though he admitted he was thinking about shoving Luv Bug 69 backwards down the last hill to save himself but why not keep a good thing going?)

Then it was time for circle. Hugh Heifer cooked his wieners in honor of the AH4 invasion - the invasion of four - and Cream Me Up got to it. As he made his way through the numerous down-downs, CBT reminded him that there was a visiting GM and Double Rub Her was introduced to help out and crack the whip. It seemed like NFN Tabitha's arrival really threw off Cream's game but he held it together and got us all toasty. Except the hares who as I put it, were drunk as Cooter Brown by the end! We swung low and about a half dozen of us hit Mellow for the On After. Eventually, Aunt Germima was poured into the back of Thumb In It's Jeep to sleep it off while the rest of us ate and drank and listened to Double Rub Her make outrageous claims about her fantastic vagina. The people beside us were apparently not amused - but I was so F 'em! All in all it was a great day and a really well laid trail. A perfect length, great shiggy and cold beer.

So keep up the good work hares, keep supporting Cream Me Up as he continues to put circles behind him and tune in next month for trail 19 when Hugh Heifer will be heard saying, "Seriously Officer, do these shorts make me look fat?" or Kawasukmi say, "You can scrub as hard and as fast as you want but you are not going to make it change color any faster!" Trail #19 hares are Hugh and CBT on November 9. The start is in Celanese so bring your phrase books!

On-On Hugh Heifer