R2H3 Trail Trash #100 & 101

Trail #100 &101 Trash - The Century Celebeertion!

posted Nov 16, 2020

Does anyone reading this have any idea what happened this weekend? There remains a fog of uncertainty regarding the weekend's events for this scribe so please bear with me as I give my best effort to recap the hijinks.

Friday the 13th there was flurry of activity at the Heifer residence in Lindale, Georgia in preparation for the Century Trail extravaganza. The yard was mowed, leaves removed, firewood piled, food prepared, a turlet delivered.... Fortunately for your hosts, Deposit Slit and Oops showed up 24 hours early to lend a helping hand. Then, sometime in the middle of the day, NFN Ben showed up with an RV and Shitigation showed up with 20 cases of piss. The later was to ensure YOU people would stay plenty hydrated. With the work completed, CBT, Hugh, Oops a Deposit enjoyed few beverages and bit of Oops caught shark on the barbie.

Then came Saturday. CBT and Hugh made an ice run and set out the beercheck all the time be assailed by text messages accusing them of the likelihood that they were out prelaying. 30 Ragehole can attest that there was no prelay as he laid witness to Hugh Heifer actually dropping chad near Pepperell High School - like, up close and personal. More on that shortly. Upon their return to the manse, they discovered that Cooter Hog of the on again off again Chattanooga Choo Choo H3 had already arrived as had an over anxious NFN Ben. Ben was attempting to ensure nobody would be injured alighting the mohemoth RV and placing traffic cones about the entrance to mark any hazard....we later learned this was valueless. A trickle of other hashers began arriving and those who actually remembered to bring their tent poles started setting up. Since it appeared the group was smaller than it should have been, Hugh sent out one last email blast hoping that due to its brevity, this one would actually be read. It was just 45 minutes from start time - 2PM on this special event day, not the traditional 3PM as there was a lot going on.

Once the pack had been compressed into a couple of vehicles, they were off to Georgia Highlands - the scene of the crime. The early arrivals were met by a number of local hashers who had reported directly to start and, at 2:04 on the nose, the hares were away. We sped through the complex and split up trying to drag the pack to a back check in order to give the aging Hugh Heifer a bit more of a head start. Bella Comonme hit it first and blew through it passing a hare that was seated behind the maintenance building. Fortunately, he never turned around sparing the hares with what could have been the first snare of the day. Bella found true trail a bit in advance of the rest of the pack and eventually everyone made their way through a small section of swamp and out of the college. The trail wound around the industrial park pretty much avoiding all the pavement before the pack got to the beercheck being manned (or is that WO-manned?) by CBT and Deposit. Hugh gave CBT orders to text him when the FRB departed the BC just to give him some idea of how close they were and it was not long before that text came. 30Ragehole was on Hugh like stink on poop. Hugh still had to climb a mountain and make his way down the other side avoiding the angry land owner. Once he made the powerline Hugh turned to see several hares making good time coming ove rthe hill. It was all just a matter of minutes now. Hugh's inconspicuous orange Savannah Hare shirt was no help.

Finally adjacent to Pepperell, the inevitable happened. Hugh turned to see 30 Rage closing rapidly. All he could do was give him words of encouragement before the snare. Seems 30 Rage had no clue what was to happen next so Hugh just told him that he won the hash and he was free to take a 30 minute break. Hugh continued on his merry way across a walk bridge, over a fence, passed the Masonic lodge and up the mountain to the Thunderdome and On-In. 30 Rage was close behind and FRBed with Vincent Van Blow accompanying. Then FBI was El Cumweiner. DFL rights were earned by Night Stalker who showed up at the start at 3:30 and enjoyed trail by himself but still arrived before circle.

Now, the RA keeps copious notes but then leaves those notes places that makes it difficult to find them and unavailable for reference, so lets see what happened next. Oh right. Downdowns...lots of downdowns. The hares of course drank for a shitty trail and the snare. Double Suk for emailing the Rome, Italy H3 regarding Shooting Star details and Fuckeye for sending Venmo to the wrong place. There were a bunch of visitor downdowns and back sliders. The five hashers (Oops, Deposit, Hugh, CBT and Fuckeye) who had been to R2H3 #1 drank as well. Eventually we swung low and a hearty dinner was served.

Cooter Hog helped out by cooking some wieners on the grill to supplement the enormous amount of veggie chili that CBT had cooked. TMI made some delicious cornbread and Monkey Dread donated some yumyum cupcakes for desert. Serious drinking commenced and the fire burned hot. Hot enough to blow a hole in the concrete thunderdome.

Soon after it was time for the Shooting Star. Better than half of the Hashers participated and Double Suk acted as your Mattress of Ceremonies. The first stop was CBT for a gingersnap on the back deck of the house. Then off to Ramaho's hooch for a dark colored pain killer. The next stop was Double Suk's on the back 40. Because she had to be up early the following day, TMI left Hugh with a jar of clear liquid and a toast that was hidden in the shiggy. After nearly going blind drinking that, the pack went to the mohemoth where they were treated to Jello shots by El Cumwiener and NFN Ben. At some point a pint of lager was brought forth that NFN Ben should probably be named but lucky for us we decided tabling it for cognitive reasons would be wise. Seems this will work out well since The R2H3 self appointed Safety Officer was the only one to not take note of the cones he had dispersed and took a tumble out of the RV badly torqueing his left ankle necessitating a trip to urgent care. We all pointed and laughed and CBT loaned him her crutches but not before locking his signed waiver form in the safe. The last beverage stop was atop the Thunderdome where the pack drank something else that was prepared by CBT and Taint continued to fill cups until well...I do not know what because apparently he filled mine several times.

At some point Shitigation held the "hot chip challenge." I am not sure if there were any winners or just losers to this event. I do however am confident that Shitigation lost as the next day he got to know the port-a-john pretty well causing him to miss trail!

The pack retired to the firepit and sometime around 3AM, this hasher poured himself in bed.

The next morning brought about trail 101. I was surprised to see some early risers had already departed. A group of about ten hashers gave chase and CBT led us down the hill and around Gilbreth Park. Hugh and Vincent did the entire trail while the rest of the pack just meandered until wandering back to the house. We had a short circle and CBT received her superhare dogtag. Breakfast was served and bloody marys began pouring. Eventually, all the miscreants departed leaving Hugh and CBT to relax in the garage drinking bloodies. It was not five minutes after the last hasher departed that the sky opened and the rains came in. The RA could not have panned it any better. The weather had completely cooperated.

Thanks to all who joined us to celebrate the milestone. 100 trails is quite a few considering the R2H3 only r*ns once a month. Thank you also to all who donated to the cause. Whether it was cups or cupcakes, shots or snacks we certainly appreciated the help. Also thanks for not burning the place down, peeing on the concrete and keeping your poop in the port-a-john. I guess we can start talking about what we will be doing for an encore at trail #200. Fortunately for my liver, that is another 8 years away.

Next Hash is December 12 and is the Holiday Pub Crawl. So dry out for the next few weeks and come on back to Rome for a libation filled trail laid by TMI and the ladies of the R2H3. And remember - Hashing is fun! See you on trail.

Hugh Heifer