R2H3 Trail Trash #107

R2H3 Trail Trash #107 - What do you mean no creek crossing? Hold my beer!

posted May 10, 2021

Another lovely day to hash in Northwest Georgia. The weather was not too warm, the summer humidity had not kicked in and the pollen was not as thick as it had been over the past months.

The pack circled up at Northwest Park in Cedartown and were immediately met by the largest group of stick ball players ever seen on a Saturday in this park. We did the best we could with parking and signed in nearly 20 hashers on this Founders Day. That's right folks, the R2H3 is 9 years old!

Our hares were migrants from points south who we have adopted as our own: No Child Left in My Behind, Slim Prickins, the hobbled Ramaho Pokin. Then a mystery hare was added at the last minute to carry Ramaho's burden and emotional exhaustion: Deposit Slit who decided she was not going to do trail with the pack to avoid the bumper crop of poison ivy and the likelihood of snakes on and in our immediate path.

Shitigation took a go as Religious Advisor and sent the hares off sometime shortly after 3PM. The pack milled about aimlessly until we warmed up at the expense of Joe's miserable life. Then we were off. I made a quick check of an overgrown cul-de-sac before catching back up to the pack who were in the middle of a do-loop that was completed live by Ramaho and Deposit and brought us back to "A." Then it was around the park to view the softball and soccer games all while fist bumping the toddling youngsters waving and yelling "Hola!" That was until Cum On Down got there with Yolo which sent the children scurrying. (We are unsure if it was the sight of the small leashed bear or the angry Santa Clause that put fear into the hearts of these poor immigrant children - but I digress.)

The pack was in and out of the woods, over a drainage ditch and under a road before we entered the fields around the sewage treatment plant being mowed by a confused yet amused County worker who had successfully shredded the hares' prelay with his John Deere. Then it was across Dry Creek. I guess we will never know why it is called that because I submerged entirely as I fell off the bank and emerged completely not dry. I watched as Lickola and Glory Mole were nearly swept away and then later heard that Yolo was taken for a ride as well and had to scamper up the bank quite a distance from where she entered. The hares found some great tracks on the outskirts of downtown and then we crossed Dry Creek on the neatest walk bridge I have seen in a while. Trail led us through Big Spring Park and eventually we were treated to a beer stop behind the Cigar Bar on Main Street. For "$ex Credit" one could enter the bar and join Deposit and Ramaho for a paid drink but I do not think many partook since there was free beer in the cooler nearby. I discovered I had dawdled long enough and as I rounded the nearby corner saw our newest Roman, Purple Pill who recently relocated from China, turning a corner over a quarter mile away. I was lonely so I put it in second gear (yeah, at my age and size I have found first gear is about what I am always in these days) and eventually caught up to Purple Pill near the Cedartown Train Depot. We ran along The Silver Comet Trail to a "whichy way" that we later learned would have led a hasher to the finish regardless of d'erection. Unfortunately, we chose the road less shiggy. Fret not however, we made it in not far behind 30 Rage and Vincent Van Blow who had found the Beer-Munity necklace. The beer was there and cold. Our bags were not. It turns out Deposit moved the bags from the open truck to hers in an abundance of caution preventing theft by redneck tweekers so it was a little while before we got to change out of our wet clothes.

The finish was a brilliant location though Fresh Fish would disagree as she got her truck stuck in the mud and before we could offer the hand of 20 hashers, she had already called a tow company. I made hot dogs, both real and fake, to help celebrate 9 years of Rome hashing while Shitigation ran circle. His one month of practicing in front of a mirror each evening paid off. It was Vincent and or 30 Rage who received honors as FRB, Purple Pill was FBI and Cum On Down took it up the rear like a man. I was appropriately issued a long arm by Vincent for playing with weiners all circle and also appropriately for starting you miscreants out on trail 9 years ago from Georgia Highlands.

Once we swung low, many of us retired to El Nopal for some lovely Mexican foods and then Purple Pill, Busted Cherry, Oops and Deposit all ended up at Casa Heifer for an evening of chat and beers - although I never did see Oops and Deposit once I returned from giving busted the grand tour. (BTW, Busted I have your cowboy hat.)All in all it was a great day and a fun trail. Thanks hares! About 5 miles with shiggy and road and sights and scenes. Prelaid or not, the hares did a delightful job and I think everyone had a fun time. The views were well worth six bucks even if the beer is shitty. And anyway, you got to put Hugh's weiner in you. What could be better? Rub down your mom with mayo?

Next month your hares are El Cumweiner and the old broken down uni-bomber we call Terrorish; June 12; Hares away at 3PM.

"Hashing is fun! See you on Trail" - Hazukashii