HIS SON
FAITH AND HOPE IN HIS NAME
The week of September 21, 2008, my sister Elaine suggested that I call the Unity Prayer hotline. Last year, in 2007, she had mentioned it, I prayed about it, and the Lord Most High guided me away from it.
This time, when she had mentioned it this year, I took down the number, pondered over the information, like I had done last year, turned to His Word in the Gospels, and came upon the same chapter as last year. Something upon my heart this time stirred within my soul to heed my sister Elaine's request this second time for me. I called the number and talked to a gal ever so briefly. She had wanted to know my prayer request as she answered the phone. I answered her with these two words. Paranoia Schizophrenia. She then said, "For yourself?" and I said, "Yes." She asked me my name and I resisted the impulse to say - the Lord knows my name - but I said, "Janet." She went into prayer for a bit and then asked me my full name and address, and gave me information that I should expect a follow-up letter in the mail.
Getting off the phone with her, I said a prayer for myself, this time 'In Jesus' Name, Amen for she had said 'In His Name, Amen.' I thought that was wrong, so I redid it. I promptly forgot everything once I gave the situation to God; He was in control and always had been in my life.
Approximately a week later, I received a confirmation letter from the Unity Prayer hotline. I read the letter, looked it over carefully everything that was sent to me, and satisfied with the contents that they weren't searching solely for money, I tucked the letter away, said another prayer for myself, 'In Jesus Name, Amen.' because I still didn't like that they omitted Jesus' Name after their prayer like it might be an offense to someone if they were to say His Name out loud to those who called them.
I promptly gave myself over to God and continued on with my life.
A few days later, I came across the letter from The Unity Prayer Hotline. I surmised upon my heart that no one saying a prayer alone and a group of people saying a prayer for you would bring a miracle, healing alone. It must come from God, in His Wisdom, His Grace, His Promise, and through His Son Jesus Christ, and all within His Time. I again said a prayer for myself in Jesus/' Name, Amen. Realizing by then that honest intent in His Name is revealed within God's purpose. I then Recommitted my life to God and believed that My Friend and Brother Jesus will save me from my sins, and if in so within His Choosing, He would listen to The Unity Prayer hotline's prayers for me within these 30 days as they had said, and Graciously allow me healing. I threw the letter away, said another prayer for myself, gave the situation to God, and moved on.
In the meantime, God's Word upon my heart was opening my understanding to a personal Spiritual Healing from a gal in the weekly women's group I had been attending for the last few months at our mental health facility here. This personal meteing between me and God was before my face. Unless you have had this happen to you, you and anyone else will not understand what I am talking about. God expressed to me, preparing me, for my healing. I took all of this in stride, and I said to Him, "I do not want her to lay hands on me and make my healing a spectacle; she will have to call me on the phone to heal me. Also, I do not want to ask her for this Healing; she will have to call on her own and offer it to me." The meteing between me and God was over instantly. I said a prayer for myself and moved on, giving this to God and putting it out of my thoughts. His Time is perfect.
On Thursday, October 23, 2008, at 7:45 p.m., the gal from class called me and told me The Lord had been dealing with her and had put it upon her heart to call me. Let's say, her personal prayer for me was better than a bubble bath, which I did tell her that. When I hung up, for I had been reading from His Word, St. Luke 12:6-7 KJV, when she had called. (when the phone rang, in my mind's eye, I saw the words 'Healing' across my brow) After The Healing, I finished journaling (with the next couple of verses read, St. Luke 12:8-9 KJV) and Thanked God for my miracle. I did not feel an instant Healing at that moment within her 3-minute prayer. What I did feel when she mentioned 'from the top of your head to the soul's of your feet' will forever be remembered by me, and that is not to be judged by anyone. This is between me and My God. I went to bed at 5 minutes til 8 o'clock that night, trusting, believing, hoping, and praying that I would be healed in God's time and within that night.
I went to bed in hopes of dreams from God, with some sort of personal dream-like visitation from Jesus. All I experienced when I closed my eyes while I was repeating over and over The Lord's Prayer like I usually do at bedtime, was a white light within our bedroom throughout the whole night as I slept. Which I still sense Him continually as before, but now I feel Him physically with me as well 24/7/365.
I awoke Friday morning, October 24, 2008, with my Peace of Mind intact, The Miracle, I had been praying for 21 years! No more silent pain within my mind, no more intense pressure throughout my brain, which affected my whole body. The medicine I was on no longer had a hold on me. The inner turmoil of my depression was no longer there. I was cured of my Paranoia Schizophrenia! Our Lord's Healing is complete, and I believe as long as I continue doing His Will in my life and keep focused on Him and His Word, I will continue to be Healed and keep my miracle from Him.
(St. Matthew 14:24-33)
I will and have to be on my medicine until my psychiatrist/husband/family feels comfortable enough to let me off this anti-psychotic drug. I am subject to my family's lack of faith right now and disbelief that I have been healed and that A Miracle has actually happened. There is no known cure for a Schizo-Affective except for The Healing power of God. I am proof.
His Time is perfect. In Jesus' Name, I pray, Amen!
UPDATE: FOR 3 MONTHS AFTER MY HEALING, I HAD BEEN MET WITH OPPOSITION FROM MY HUSBAND, MY FAMILY (EXCEPT FROM MY DAUGHTER MARIE), AND EVEN MY PSYCHIATRIST. MY MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST IS A BELIEVER IN JESUS CHRIST AND BELIEVES IN GOD's MIRACLE THAT OUR LORD HAS GIVEN ME. I HAVE STEPPED OUT ON FAITH ALONE AND WITH GOD's COUNSEL I HAVE TAKEN MYSELF OFF MY MEDICINE AS OF JANUARY 14TH, 2009. WHEN JESUS HEALED ME LAST YEAR IN 2008, I WAS GIVEN BACK MY 'FREE WILL'. AND NOW MY FREE WILL THAT HAD ALTERED MY LIFE YEARS AGO WILL NEVER TAKE HOLD OF MY LIFE. FOR AS LONG AS I AM FOCUSED ON HIM, I WILL BE DOING HIS WILL, AND I AM PROOF THAT I HAVE BEEN HEALED FROM GOD's HAND. AS OF NOW, I AM SEEING A DOCTOR WHO IS SENSITIVE TO MY FAITH. IT IS TIME TO MOVE FORWARD AND BE IN JESUS' NAME, AMEN
ALSO, OUR LORD REMINDED ME DURING A CHURCH SERVICE IN JANUARY OF '09 THAT MY FIRST HEALING TOOK PLACE IN MARCH OF 2007. FOR 5 MONTHS, MY SON, 2 DAUGHTERS, MY MOTHER, A LOT OF NAGGING TOWARDS MY HUSBAND, AND I PRAYED CONTINUALLY FOR ME TO BE HEALED OF MY PARANOIA. THE 6MG OF RISPERDAL THAT I HAD BEEN ON WAS NOT WORKING AND HAD BEEN INCREASED UP TO THAT AMOUNT FOR THAT ONLY REASON. IN MARCH OF '07, I HAD BEEN HEALED THROUGH PRAYER AND PRAYER ALONE. THAT APRIL I STARTED TO GRADUALLY DECREASE MY MEDICINE. I WENT AGAINST THE ADVICE OF THE ACTING PSYCHIATRIST AT THAT TIME AT OUR MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY. WHEN HER CONTRACT WAS NOT RENEWED, THE FOLLOWING PSYCHIATRIST ALLOWED THE REDUCTION OF RISPERDAL TO 2MG. AFTER THE CONFIRMATION OF MY '07 HEALING FROM GOD IN OCTOBER OF 2008, THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF MY HEALING TO THE MENTAL HEALTH PSYCHIATRIST, WELL, HE DID NOT TAKE THIS BIT OF INFORMATION VERY WELL, LEAVING ME WITH THE INABILITY TO DISCUSS WITH HIM MY DESIRE TO NO LONGER CONTINUE MY MEDICATION. NO ONE SUPPORTED ME EXCEPT MY DAUGHTER MARIE. IN MY GOD's DECISION FOR ME, I HAVE STEPPED OUT ON FAITH TO DO HIS WILL.
UPDATE: AS OF YESTERDAY, APRIL 7TH, 2009, MY HUSBAND FOUND OUT THAT I HAD BEEN OFF MY MEDICINE. HE THREATENED TO LEAVE ME UNLESS I WAS TO GO BACK ON MY DOSAGE. I AM SUBJECT TO MY HUSBAND, SO I OF MY OWN FREE WILL CHOSE TO LISTEN TO MY HUSBAND. THIS CONTRADICTION OF MY FAITH AND HOW ONLY TO LISTEN AND BE SUBJECT TO MY GOD AT ALL TIMES, FIRST OF ALL, WAS SO DEVASTATING TO ME THAT I BOXED ALL OF MY RELIGIOUS ITEMS THAT WERE ON THE WALL, SHELVES, AND ON MY PERSON. I HAD PLANNED ON DISMANTLING MY RR-TIE CROSS, TAKING DOWN THE SACRED HEART OF CHRIST STATUE, AND THE WHITE CROSS IN MY YARD AS OF TODAY, AND DELETING THIS WEBPAGE, BECAUSE I REFUSED TO BE A HYPOCRITE OF MY FAITH IN GOD, JESUS CHRIST, AND WITHIN THE HOLY SPIRIT. BUT THIS MORNING WHILE I WAS JOURNALING AND SEEKING MY ABBA's FACE, ON THE RELIGIOUS STATION ON THE RADIO THAT I LISTEN TO ALMOST EVERY MORNING, WHAT WAS REVEALED TO ME WAS II CORINTHIANS 12:9, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR THEE: FOR MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." AND SO CONTINUED THE SPEAKER ABOUT EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL'S HANDICAP WHO IS CALLED TO SERVE OUR LORD GOD, JESUS CHRIST, WITHIN HIS HOLY SPIRIT. SO, WITH FAITH, BY KNOWING THIS, I WILL CONTINUE TO GO BEFORE THE LORD AND PREACH HIS GOSPEL WITHOUT FEAR AND/OR TREMBLING OF HEART. MY FAITH AND MY PURPOSE IN LIFE FROM GOD ARE RESTORED. THE THORN IN MY SIDE, I CONTINUE TO PRAY AND HAVE HOPE HE WILL BE BORN AGAIN, AND TOGETHER WE WILL DO GOD's WILL.
AFTERTHOUGHT: MY QUESTION IS: WHO'S WEAKNESS IS GOD's STRENGTH BEING PERFECTED IN? MY HUSBAND'S? MINE? OR IS IT BOTH OF OURS?
SYNOPSIS: I HAVE HAD A REVERSAL OF A REACTION TO THE 3MG RISPERDAL/RISPERIDONE.
MONDAY, MAY 25TH, 2009, I BECAME SO EXTREMELY PSYCHOTIC. THE PSYCHOSIS WAS UNREAL. TOO REAL. SIGNS NEVERENDING. EVERYONE IS DOING THEIR BEST TO PROTECT ME.
I REDUCED IT TO 2MG ON MY OWN. IF THAT IS TOO MUCH, I'LL REDUCE IT TO 1MG. I TAKE THIS ONLY TO SLEEP, REST, AND PACIFY MY HUSBAND/SON, IN WHOM I DO NOT BELIEVE IN MY GOD's MIRACLE IN MY LIFE. JMG-A.
With everything that has happened with the medical professionals in this very small town, you would have thought someone would have been smart enough to mention a verification of my healing by a specialist instead of allowing my husband to bully me into taking medicine. So he did not need to maintain the responsibility of a married relationship. My husband's reaction to actually being a husband, a giver instead of a taker for all selfish reasons, propelled him to demand that I take even more medicine than the 3mg I had been taking in May. A very kind-hearted pharmacist in town verified that 3mg and even the 2mg of Risperdal/risperidone was too much for me. Hence, I am on 1mg of risperidone to shut my husband up as far as I am taking something, along with 25mg of sertraline, which helps keep the edge off the Risperdal/risperidone. Instead of feeling like I have a 50# brick for a brain like I had been experiencing with the 3mg, I now feel like I have a 5# brick. I am not supposed to be on this medicine; I am unable to travel to get myself to a specialist, nor does anyone care enough to help me out. So I turn to God, My Heavenly Father, to be my Champion, and I believe that this Saturday, July 4th, 2009, He Will take care of me and help me. I have not a clue how or what, but I believe my husband will finally realize that I have been healed and he will finally see My God's miracle in me:)
Reflecting back, there is a very good chance that if I had left my first healing in October 2008, alone, I would have been better off. I did receive a completed healing, but the repercussions of my healing showed a lack of faith and a lack of strength on my part. One day, being Schizo-Affective will be dealt with, promising results. So I wait and continue on in faith and hope. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Update 2023: To this day, I am on 2-3mg. Risperdol/Risperidone and 2-1mg Cogentin/Benzitropine. Over ten years with no side effects in my brain. I drink plenty of water and do five minutes of cardio every day of the week. The downside is that I have a twenty-minute attention span, unable to drive the interstate, for I am unable to concentrate on the road, and I am tired all the time. Plus, I have all-season depression caused by the medicine I take, which is combated by daily exercise. Thus saith the LORD God, for He is a Faithful God, I do His Will to the best of my abilities.
Update 2025: Refer to Satan Knows Scripture. Satan tempts us...God tests us.
Update September 2025: Reduction to 1-4mg Resperdol and continued dosage of 1mg Cogentin/Benzitropine. because my prolactin level was too high – I feel less medicated – I feel more aware of myself – I have been feeling depressed for years, apparently, and did not realize it more.
Reading all I have typed, The Healing of those many, many years ago as a True Healing – I Thank You, my Heavenly Father😊. I have been able to cope within You this whole time😊.