Daily Log
*This is the story and link that went along with daily log for June 30th!
Subject: The Demo Memo
By: Greg Keehn
Date: 6-30-2016
Dear Wrestling Fans:
Thursday was a battle royal, brothers and sisters. Connie jumped into ring, swinging the old frying pan. She didn’t stop grilling until Paige, Greg , Peggy, and Lisa told her who they who they admired: a minister, Queen Elizabeth, Harriet Tubman, and one the only “Nature Boy” Ric Flair! Wow! But the fireworks didn’t end there.
Next, Ben jumped into the ring with amazing zing, using music to style and profile with guitar in hand like the “HonkyTonk Man.” He took the crowd on a musical airplane spin. Taking off in the 1950’s, Ben asked those around the ring to join him on a journey through time to help him re-live Wednesday’s big events. He then leapt from the turnbuckle with “La Bamba” and took us to the sixties with “The Sound of Music/Writing”, flying through the air until reaching new heights with George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” to recount Matt’s Robert Frost impression from the day before.
After that, Ben spun the crowd to seventies with a parody of Led Zeppelin’s “Black Dog” to which he sang about Dr. B’s zenn diagrams, Jason’s “Of Mice and Men” Demo, and some shit about Jason looking like Kevin Spacey. Everyone knows Jason is “Stone Cold”! Ben continued to show the fans why he’s meanest player in game by pile driving his watchers into the 80’s with his own lyrics to “I Want to Dance with Somebody” to show Theresa’s angst about not getting to present her demo on Wednesday and to have some fun with NWP list.
Ben used the 1990’s to take the crowd’s breath away like a Hulk Hogan suplex with a tune about Max McKenna’s lesson, Phyllis’s need for British rhymes, and Dr. B’s rewinds.
With everyone out of breath, Ben used versions of songs from the 2000’s to finish off his audience. His version of “Love of Mine” had ring side watchers cutting off pieces of giant butts with Jason’s writer’s lens, and then he used his lyrics to “Say Something” by A Great Big World to get the pin with words like “Max McKenna is cool and not minuscule.
After Connie’s and Ben preliminaries, Andrew stepped into the ring to introduce his tag team partner, “The Swede” who executed a power slam with his haunting words and his futuristic digital paintings. Andrew and Simon Stalenhag, “The Swede,” continued to woo the crowd, throwing gravitrons and crash test dummies out of the ring. Andrew and “The Swede” stuck their pin with moves known as “The Remote Glove” and “The Three Cooling Towers.” Andrew and his tag team partner showed those at ring side that a picture can be worth a thousand words.
Following Andrew’s tag team match, Theresa entered the ring and grabbed the microphone to start a “grand conversation” by reading “It’s a Book” to stir-up the fans. Then like the “Iron Sheik,” Theresa got the crowd on Twitter so that they wouldn’t be quitters. Theresa also used the rain to train the fans’ brains like she was cooking in some kind of wrestling café. She ended her match by tearing pages out of books and having her fans black the words to create poetry that rivaled the show itself. One frenzied fan even yelled to Theresa that he had “chillearned!”
Just when the fans at Dr. B’s arena thought they had seen it all, Andrew jumped on to canvas, chugged a beer and asked the crowd: “What is Poetry?” With some urging but no taunting, Andrew took answers from ring side, handing out a round of “hell yeahs” for all to hear. After chugging a beer here and a beer there, Andrew threw down his cans and grabbed some foreign objects: magazines. He wanted the fans to black out, but instead, “found” another way to pull some ring side poetry from the magazine-toting crowd. With some paper, some cut-outs, and a little glue, Andrew showed the crowd “what was cooking” before opening one last can of “whoopass” on Mr. Mundane with a forearm smash to the fans’ brains.
The final match of day showcased a newcomer to the ring, “Diamond Dallas” Paige or DDP. Despite some heckling from crowd, DDP (Paige) diamond cut her through her opponent like the skilled middle school grappler that she is. One by one, Paige took down Tim, Matt, and Greg, only stopping to say: “Who’s One Hung Low?” You, jabronis!” With an army of terracotta soldiers behind her, Paige wanted to end the match on a “good note” and she left the ring shouting “INTERACTIVE NOTEBOOKS FOR LIFE!”
On Thursday, June 30th, all wrestlers, I mean teachers, were “stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' n' dealin' sons of guns,” to quote “The Nature Boy”. Everyone involved brought their “A” games to Dr. B’s crowded arena, and no one had to take their vitamins or say their prayers to get the job done, brother! So “walk down the aisle in style and profile” and try to “smell” what Dr. B and Connie are “cooking”, some good old-fashion writing! Woooo! That’s all, Mean Gene! Oh yeah!
Sincerely,
Hollywood Hulk Hogan
P.S. To all my little Hulkamaniacs, take you vitamins, say your prayers and write so that you will never go wrong.