The last post ended with my being extremely tired from running a 5k earlier that day and then completing a full day of activities. That does not excuse the questions that I asked during the post, which I completely intend to answer. But I will say that, I will limit this post to the points that I have learned that have improved my mental health with regard to the Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Spectrometer that was partially delivered followed by the initial phase of installation. The department is still waiting for the final phase of installation, which was originally thought to occur this week, but looks as though it probably will not happen.
I just received a wonderful present from Kayla tonight, which was a historical account of the development of NMR and MRI that is around 800 pages long. So, I think that I will hold off on continuing the ending of the last post until I am further along in the book and add some additional details that I have learned in the process. I would normally apologize for this, but since this is a blog about my mental awareness, I guess that "my mind" will choose the path that it takes.
During the installation of the instrument, there are many concerns about delivery to the correct location/building of the "magnet" aside from the delivery of the installation equipment. The manufacturers typically will call you up and just tell you that the equipment or instrument has been shipped and the "shipping" company will contact you 24 hrs before the delivery. I made sure that I provided the manufacturer of the instrument with a map of the exact--down to the room location at which I would like all of the packages to be delivered and I still got the same response. This did not help either my physical state or mental state for that matter. It always amazes me that any of the Superconducting Magnet manufacturers ship out a product, like a large magnet that can cost anywhere from $300,000.00 to millions of dollars and not be able to provide a "tracking number" for the delivery of the product. The companies must have one hell of an insurance policy. Instead of getting too stressed out, I chose previously to exercise in order to "run down" my excess energy that I would normally channel to stress. I went for a 7 mile hike in the Verdugo hills on Memorial Day with Kayla.
I was exhausted from that hike and did realize the toll that this hike nor the delivery and initial phase of installation would have on me throughout the week. I thought to myself, I will get this magnet delivered and go to Jiu Jitsu this week and "kick ass" this week. Well, there were mixed results that I would not have expected that occurred throughout the week. In earlier posts, I discussed that I would beat myself up mentally if I had not completed my initial projections--well, it happened again. But instead of dwelling on this feeling, I capitalized on new experiences and ended the week with running a 5k with a completely different experience.
It turned out that I really had no clue as to the time frame involved with installing an NMR magnet. Even though we just had two installed the previous year on this site. The reason was that I was not in charge of supervising the entire process--what a party!! Anyways, after all of the equipment arrived, I was waiting for the cryogens to arrive in order to complete the process. By cryogens, I mean that these Superconducting Magnets require "liquids" that keep the coils that generate the magnetic field to be kept at very cold temperatures....
Here is a link to explain this phenomenon in a little over a minute:
The main properties of a superconducting magnet are the magnetic field, which is immersed in a bath of liquid helium. These metallic windings have to be cooled to a temperature of -452.7 degrees Fahrenheit or -273 degrees Celsius. VERY COLD. Now, If this container which cools the "magnetic coils" were contained in a metallic container, which is similar in appearance to an "upright trashcan," and had no other layer between the container and the "environment," then the helium would boil off or evaporate immediately. Fortunately, the manufacturers of the magnets have added an additional layer or two----one of which is a can of liquid nitrogen, which is kept at -320 degrees Farenheit. This allows a "buffer" between the "magnetic coils" and the "atmosphere." Additionally, there is a "vacuum layer" in the stainless steel container between the "liquid nitrogen" layer and the "atmosphere." This completes the whole surrounding of the NMR or MRI scanner design.
Below is a diagram of an "upright" NMR magnet design to follow with the description stated in the paragraph above via a link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_magnet
Here is a visual diagram of the parts of the Magnet. In order to retain the properties which give rise to the effect of NMR or MRI scanning, you must have the "magnetic coils" be maintained at a very low temperature as described above. At these temperatures, the properties of a "superconducting magnet" are maintained, which means near zero resistance of "current" running through the "magnetic coils." If the coils are maintained at these temperatures, the current will flow continuously without any or near any resistance. Although, if one lets the "coils" equilibrate to room temperature, then the "superconducting materials" that make up the coils will act like a room temperature and have a large resistance. In other words, there will be no more NMR or MRI scanning capability. One would have to order more liquid helium and liquid nitrogen in order to charge the magnet up to obtain "superconductive capabilities" again.
This is the difficulty associated with these scanners. So, to proceed with the initial phase of setup of these magnets.
Before the installation engineer "charges" the "coils" up, the "coils have to reach the VERY COLD temperatures and come to an equilibrium. In order to achieve this, the engineer starts with filling the "liquid nitrogen" dewar or container first. Once this is accomplished, the engineer moves onto fill the inner "liquid helium" dewar of container. I asked him, "how do you know when it is filled completely to "your liking"? He stated that there was a multimeter on top of the magnet that was reading the "resistance" of the "coils" inside the innermost part of the magnet. At the initial reading, the meter read around 50 Ohms of "resistance." Several hours later, the meter read around 19 Ohms of "resistance." This meant that the bottom of the "coils" were at a "resistance" of 19 Ohms, while the top of the "coil" was at around 40 Ohms. He let the "coil" stack equilibrate over night and hopefully the whole stack would come to an average resistance reading of 30 Ohms by the morning---with both liquid nitrogen and helium in the magnet.
There were many new facts that I had not ever noticed about this process that I was able to question the engineer that day about. I was astounded to find out information that I did not even know about, some of which I hit myself on the head about and others that I would have never thought possible. For instance......
Inside the magnet, there are two cans, as mentioned before---one liquid nitrogen and the other liquid helium. They are supported solely from the top of the magnet along the two chambers from which one would fill the "inner" liquid helium dewar from. If a person were to "cut" with a saw those two stacks, the "innards" of the magnet will fall completely out the bottom---given that the "bottom plate" is removed. Although, the inner cans are stabilized by "fiberglass" rods to "minimize" thermal contact with the "atmosphere" and therefore, reduce loss of both liquid nitrogen and liquid helium. Interesting....this made my night learning about this. It blew my mind away and at the same time eased some anxiety that I had over filling the "cryogens" on a regular basis.
Moving on from this initial phase of setup, I did not make it to Jiu Jitsu that evening and was partially disappointed with myself. But I was totally happy about learning and overcoming some anxiety--mental anxiety that I had previously with regard to the design of the NMR before leaving that night. When I got home, I cracked a beer in celebration and looked at the "dishes" that were "piled up" in the sink. I was on an "intellectual" high from earlier and I did not want to come down from that "high" and wanted nothing else than to continue learning. I felt like I wanted to learn about the inner workings of every instrument in the department that night. The only problem with the matter was that I needed to eat and do some laundry. This required doing dishes, since Kayla and I had held off on cleaning dishes. In all fairness, we have no dishwasher---only old "manual". Do not feel sorry for us---we are blessed.
Here is where a feeling of "anxiety" or "mental anxiety" starts to overcome my whole body. This is where the real or "prolonged" feeling starts regarding the transition from this "intellectual high" to the low of reality regarding the other aspects of my life that I have ignored in order to achieve my "highs." It is quite fascinating to me how quickly I can decide to change the situation which results in a "physical feeling." I am staring at the dishes and I am hungry, but I do not want to give up this "intellectual high" in my mind at this moment that I am feeling. I feel that I should capitalize on it, but I do not know how to settle it. So, I sit down and start reading the "Op-Ed" section of the New York Times with a Beer. I know that I have to eat, otherwise, I will just keep having beers and will result in a "bad situation."
After I read an a piece by Paul Krugmann, I realized that I could come to a "middle point" in this situation. I bought a couple of "book stands" a few years ago in order to have the opportunity to be able to read an article while eating a meal. I have a large problem with "holding up" a paper or magazine while trying to eat. I am really not good with "multi-tasking." Anyways, I looked at the sink full of dirty dishes and thought that I should try to expand my learning abilities. In earlier posts, I mentioned that it was a big deal for me to read an article while typing the article out with my PC. Well, this was the next step up in the learning process---at my speed.
I was just so happy to learn that I could finally read the newspaper with my wife--Kayla around me. It is probably more my paranoia, but every time I pick up a paper, I start reading and no sooner do I find my wife in my vision. Since I am a very social person, I have a problem focusing on a paper when other people are around. I told myself, "mike, if you can get used to Kayla being around you and read, then you will be able to block other people out." Maybe it was just a mental observation/ conviction.
Here I am with the dishes with this challenge lingering in my mind---I do not want to those dishes. Well, I thought, I have to do them to eat so there is no choice in the matter. I decided to negotiate with both desires in my mind--keeping on that "intellectual high" and easing my anxiety along with eating. I grabbed an article on "Fuel Cell Technology" and the little metallic stand and proceeded to the kitchen. I set up the little metallic stand in the window with the article on it and "busted out" a load of dishes. Afterwards, 20-30minutes later, I had read the entire article along with completing the dishes that surrounded the counters and prevented me--mentally from eating.
I learned from this experience that if you feel a certain "instinct" to either ask a question or complete a "task" in unusual circumstances, you should capitalize on it. The only thing holding you back is yourself in all matters. More importantly, I learned to rise above my "mental" ceiling at which I define my limit and move to the next level through accessing multiple avenues of learning. The next morning, I woke up feeling great--even though I did not go to Jiu Jitsu the night before. I had made such progress in areas of my life that I had been ignoring, I celebrated and moved onto complete more progress that I will discuss in the days to come.
The weekend after this event, I ran a 5k as mentioned at the start with my family. My Stepfather--Robert who is a Psychologist, happened to "twist" his ankle a few days prior to the run. I normally would have run with my wife and my mother, since he usually runs a lot faster. But at this particular run, Kayla, my sister Kristi and my mother went ahead and Robert and I ran slower. The fantastic part of this run was that all throughout the run, Robert stated that he would walk if need be due to his injury. Instead, he ran the entire distance in pain, which some might argue is not good at all. I was impressed, even if we had to run so slow that walkers passed us up. It took a lot of courage to keep going with his pain and during the run, we had some great discussions about endurance--mind over matter. I will sum it up by talking about one section of the run in particular. I was telling him about how I was getting Kayla to watch the old "Rocky" movies. All of a sudden, he started singing the theme song, where in the original movie, Rocky runs through the neighborhood and ends up on the city steps near a library. The fascinating aspect about him singing this song was that when we made it to the finish line of the run---the exact same song was playing at that moment. There have been a large amount of occurrences happening like this in my life lately. It is probably just normal, but you never know. So, I guess I should just keep doing what I have been doing---Roll with it. This concludes this post......
I hope that you find out more about your learning avenues. Cheers!!