I have not written a post on this blog for around 5 months...too long. This is primarily due to directing my efforts toward other projects. Thinking about where I am at now in my life at 42 years of age is fascinating. I guess, to an extent, with all of the change that has been occurring in other areas of my life over the last few months, I have been pondering this thought in the back of my head. Am I nearly a 'mid-life crisis' -- I do not think so -- yet. When I am told that I have officially reached this point, I will gladly discuss the process with the world. I was thinking about what to write about -- since so much has been happening over the last few months. With this in mind, I will just start with the fact that I just hit my 2 year mark of sobriety -- YES. In the process, old habits are fading as new habits are forming. I will talk about changes that are starting to change my body chemistry. What do I mean by the last couple of statements? Read on to find out...
As I just mentioned, I passed my second year of sobriety. When I was approaching the exact date (June 16), I tried not to think of this date too much. Why? Because, obsessing about a date is not healthy and can lead to negative lifestyle changes that will take you back to where you started from -- is that possible? Well, not exactly, since you cannot undo the knowledge that you have gained. I am super happy to be sober today. My life is completely different than 2 years ago. How, you might be wondering? A couple years ago, I was working at the same place that I am currently. The difference is that I have chosen to deal with my anxiety and stress much differently than I did back then. For a period in my 20's and 30's -- alcohol seemed to help me quite well reduce the stress in my life. Why?
Probably (I am speculating), because I was paralyzed (to an extent) by anxiety. Possibly even fear of the unknown future after being in the US Air Force for 4 years. How did I know this was a good solution for me at the time? Because, for a while, having a few drinks seemed to reduce my stress and anxiety quite a bit. Of course, during that time, I stopped working out to the extent that I was prior to deciding to drink more here and there throughout the week. Why do I tell you this? Because, over the last 2 years, I have chosen to experiment with my mind and body to see if this was the case by simply removing alcohol from the equation. If that was an issue or a culprit which contributed to problems, then they would be minimized as a result of sobriety. Being a scientist, I was quite surprised by the result. I still have problems and am still stressed on occasion. What I do not have is the magnitude of stress and anxiety in moving forward to working on other projects!!!!!!! Amazing.
To recap, what eliminating alcohol did for me was to reduce the magnitude of stress and anxiety. Both are still present in varying levels (or degrees), but coping mechanisms keep them at bay (exercising, eating better, etc.). I am not the perfect person. In fact, over the last few months, my stress level has gone up dramatically. Let me tell you why....
When Kayla and I first gave up alcohol and started riding the train with a bicycle to engage in 'blended commuting,' we were focused on getting healthy. That was the number one objective. Learn to change our lifestyle habits by eliminating alcohol from our lives....sounds good right? Maybe not so. Changing your mental circuitry is not easy. Although, wanting to feel better and more energetic is motivating and kept us up to the task at hand. We started an advocacy effort (www.bikecar101.com) which served our needs during our commute to work by both train and bicycle. I will discuss this more in the next post. Engaging in an 'active transportation' lifestyle is not the simplest task to accomplish. Although, with time, the process becomes much easier. First, there is a decision -- a realization. Second, there is a planning period where 'action' is planned. And third, there is an 'action' period where results are obtained. Right about now, you might be thinking the following question...
Can you give me an example of this sequence in your daily life?
Sure.
Source: Monterey, CA -- Business trip.
That picture was taken along the coast of California up in Monterey. I went on a business trip for my job to attend an academic conference up at Asilomar Conference grounds -- which is an amazing place with stunning views. I wrote a blog about this trip. Here is the link to my active transportation business trip. The trip was transformative for me to say the least. At the same time, this trip was a 'rite of passage' for me. Just like my time in the military was a 'rite of passage' in of itself. Planning a trip with a train and a bicycle was a big step for me. I admit, like a typical Southern California resident, I was attached to a car up until a couple of years ago. Although, once you have the realization that the trip is possible the next step is to plan -- followed by action -- going on the trip. Going on a trip without the comfort of a vehicle was a trip for me. At the same time, I felt liberated not to have to find parking, be stressed while driving. Riding a bicycle or walking from my hotel room to the conference grounds 'felt normal.' Why did I highlight 'felt normal'?
Because, my experience of engaging in active transportation over the last couple of years has set the stage for a change in habit. Where I would normally think of hopping into a car to go to the store or another errand, I now either hop on my bicycle or walk. I am not going to lie and say that the transition was easy. Anything worth doing takes work and discipline. Changing habits that are hard-wired into your head takes a certain amount of time -- which differs in length for each person. My barrier toward change is different than my wife's barrier toward change. I find that completely fascinating. Although, over time the barrier seems to drop with hard work. What does this change have to do with the business trip that I took two months ago?
Looking back on my trip now, I worked very hard to plan and execute the trip along with riding my bicycle to and from work daily (and leisurely on the weekends). We have been going on a few leisurely vacation bicycle/train trips on the weekends over the last few months. Each of these trips contributed to changing my thinking or my resistance toward choosing a bicycle and a train rather than driving. At the time, I was unaware of the change that was occurring in my mind. I was actually lowering the barrier to resistance toward choosing active transportation with each bicycle trip. Further, adding the train into the equation (modes of transportation) -- which increases the range of distance that I could travel within the Southern California -- really sealed the deal in my mind. Over time, I have transitioned into choosing alternative modes of transportation that incorporate active modes rather than passive (in a car). Amazing. I will discuss these in my next post. The next post will be on the bicycle advocacy for greater bicycle infrastructure on every Metrolink train. Here, I wanted to focus more on the lifestyle changes that occurred on a daily basis which resulted in a higher quality of life. Really, 'higher quality'? Yes, here is why.
A couple of years ago, I was not really giving my full potential to either my work, my relationships, myself. What was I giving it too? I do not know. Now, I have a metric by which to move forward by and exert my energy toward more fruitful projects that are paying higher dividends. What do I mean by having a 'metric'? I now cannot blame anything on 'alcohol' anymore. What I feel today is Mike. Which is great. Again, I am still stressed -- I am not living in the 'pink clouds'. I am nervous about change, although, I do not spend too much time thinking about change. Instead, I think about what am I doing in the moment? Is that healthy or detrimental to my health? If the action is healthy, then I might continue the action. If the action is unhealthy, I will change courses of action and make a healthy course my action.
I noticed today that over the last few years I have been transitioning toward living the life that I feel good about living. Prior to that, I was conflicted with various avenues that 'might be good' to go down -- in terms of life choices. I am speaking about job choices, marriage, house, cars, clothes, etc. Living in Southern California, a person is encouraged to be 'image conscious' to say the least. I am super lucky to have everything that I have today. My wife (Kayla) is beautiful and I am grateful to have her beside me. She challenges me and encourages me to be a better person. I try to do the same for her. I have learned to drop the preconceived notions of where everyone in our family would be at various life stages -- which was huge for me. Coming from our family, that is a big step. Every once in a while I get that feeling and have to fight it. How do I know this is true?
Well, for one thing, riding my bicycle to work and taking the train is completely foreign to the rest of my family (with exception of my brother). That is the first indication. When my family heard of these new changes, they were happy for me, but would never change their habits of driving a car. They do exercise, then shower and 'image up' to meet the day. What I can do for myself and my wife is be true to myself and live free. If I want to ride a bicycle -- then do it.
Each one of us needs to find the healthiest course of action. Each one of us deserves to be happy. I encourage you to adopt a change in your lifestyle that results in a 'higher quality of living'. What is that action in your life? I have no idea. No one else does either --- but you do! Search yourself and find the solution.
In closing, alcohol turned out not to be the major culprit. The problem is more complex than just one ingredient. I still have not had a drink and do not feel completely comfortable bragging about it. The reason is that I do not necessarily like to blame to many vices for my inability to evaluate my actions appropriately. As you move onto the next blog, think about yourself. What is holding you back from living a 'higher quality of life'? Until the next time, Cheers -- alcohol free of course.