A meltdown is different from a tantrum. Meltdowns happen when a student feels completely overwhelmed. They are an intense response to overwhelming circumstances, a complete loss of behavioural control. The key thing to remember is during a meltdown the student does not have any control over their behaviour, during a tantrum they do. The student will need help to recognise the overwhelmed feeling and what to do when they begin to feel this way. It is important to step in when the child begins to get agitated.
Important steps:
stay calm
give the student space
avoid saying too much
help the student move to a less stimulating environment if possible
give them time
A meltdown happens is stages and your response will depend on the stage the child is in. A response designed for a different stage will not work and, at times, have a negative impact.
What to do
During the Meltdown
Meltdown rising - student is displaying signs of irritation, they may be using a louder or higher pitched voice, they may struggle to remain still, movement may be erratic. Use distraction, humour, adjust the level of the demand, compromise.
Rising higher - student is physically agitated, they may do thigs that are shocking eg swear, threaten to throw items, yell. Validate their feelings, pause, remain calm, use a soft tone of voice, let them know you are there to support them, ignore their shocking behaviours, let them know you care.
Complete meltdown - fight; yell, scream, throw items, use physical violence, swear, say offensive things flight; student may run away, climb high places, freeze; create a ball with their body, hide, close their eyes, cover their face, become non responsive and non verbal. Clear a space for them, remove other people from the area, provide one on one support with a trusted person, remain calm, do not talk much and when you do only say positive, caring and affirming things eg I am here to help you, I care about you, you are safe.
After the Meltdown
Meet the child where they are emotionally. Bruce Perry’s Sequence of Engagement is guided by the understanding that when the lower brain is dysregulated, disorganised, and inefficient the higher brain, such as the cortex, cannot function. When children are dysregulated or upset, they have little ability to use reason, logic and insight. Reasoning, reminding, warning etc a child of the rules will not end a meltdown. The child is not regulated so they are not able to respond to or process reason or reason themselves.
Help the child to regulate - this must be with a trusted adult. It will be different for each child they may need to run, push, scream, allow them to do so in a safe way.
Guide them in taking deep breaths if this is helpful.
For some a back rub helps.
Continue to use a calm voice and continue to tell them you care for them.
Do not have an angry voice face or posture.
Ask the child what they need from you or how you can help.
For the child to become regulated you must be regulated and you must create a safe space for them to do so.
It is imperative for the adult to remain calm, regulated, caring and safe.
Sit or stand side by side, not front on, as this is less confrontational
Relate to the child -
Use distraction; humour, talk about a know topic of interest, point out anything you can see with exaggerated interest, begin an activity and talk to the child about what you are doing, proving ways for the child to join you
Validate their feelings, let them know you understand why they are feeling the way they are and that it is ok, that you are here for them and care for them.
Reason - now that they child is regulated you can talk about the why f what happened and make a plan for next time. Now they can think about what they did, try to understand why, repair any mistakes, and make a plan for how to avoid these situations in the future.
use the Choice Theory 5 questions: what did you want, what did you do to get what you want, did it work, what are some other options, what is your plan for next time.
restore your relationship with the child, help the child restore their relationship with you and others, allow for forgiveness and moving forward