1. Misbehaviour or Mother Nature: some behaviour that might be considered inappropriate or unacceptable may be a factor of the student’s stage of development.
2. Pick your battles: be selective about the occasions you decide to engage with students. Stick to the really important or serious ones.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff: don’t battle students over the smaller, albeit irritating and frustrating, everyday issues. Remember Planned Ignoring
4. Later: emotionally charged conflicts are often best left to be dealt with at a later time, when everyone involved has calmed down and are in a better position to think and act rationally. It won’t always be possible to delay though.
5. The last word can be lethal: fighting stubbornly to have the last say only prolongs the verbal exchange and further damages the relationship. Disengage from the verbal battle, and teach students to do the same.
6. Is anybody listening to me? If students sense that you are not hearing or willing to hear their side of the story, they will feel aggrieved and will want, regardless of what you do or say, to continue the battle.
7. Sarcasm isn’t funny: in a situation of heightened emotions using sarcasm seldom, if ever, helps.
8. Save face: It is good practice to limit the embarrassment students often experience when, after initially being confrontational, they back off and comply with directives. Keeping verbal exchanges ‘non-personal’ and brief makes the task of helping the student save face a lot easier.
9. Set limits, avoid ultimatums: for some students, demand and threats only challenge them to resist further. Many are happy to take up the challenge.
10.Take charge of yourself: you won’t think straight and act in a fair and sensible manner if you are worked up and full of emotion. Take a deep breath and count to ten.