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Pre-Crisis State and Baseline
What are the triggers?
physical - clothing, temperature, noise level
emotional - over tired, several hours of masking, something happened on the playground
environmental - too hot, too cold, too much stimulation, unpredictable situations
baseline - what does this look like for the child
tone & expression - voice, face, body language, noises they make
behaviour - behaviours they do, what do you see
body language - what does their body look like?
activities
Triggering Event
How do you know if the child has been triggered? Recognise those signs and then:
use co-regulation, use tone of voice, body, and breath as a source of calm, ensure you remain regulated and calm
redirection and/or distraction
empathy, acknowledgement and understanding
Escalation Phase
Emotions and rage are escalating. The amygdala is taking over the rational brain
increased anxiety or inability to cope with stressful situation
behaviour increases in duration and frequency
the child may start yelling or making loud noises
the child may be threatening others or starting to act out their emotions physically (hitting, throwing, damaging property)
These are survival responses to cope, do not personalise them.
maintain co-regulation strategies
understand the child's perspective, offer empathy
avoid the conflict cycle - don't make the child wrong or try to solve the problem, their rational brain is not functioning
give them time away - do not tell them they have to go, ask them if they need time away and offer your presence as support
calm the nervous system as priority, breathing, mindfulness
manage the environment
Outburst Phase
The rational brain is completely offline, do not try to rationalise
violent behaviours or threatening violence
self-harm, property damage, abusive shouting and yelling
maintain co-regulation strategies, still acknowledge their feelings, let the child know you are there with them, validate their feelings
help the child drain off their emotions in a safe way
do not over talk: "I can see you are... (angry, frustrated)", "I know you wanted..." speak to the child's self interest
manage the environment
see the incident from the child's perspective
These are survival responses to cope, do not personalise them.
Recovery, Repair and Reconnect
This can only happen when the child is at baseline may not happen for a while. Often when they come out of the stressed state the child may feel shame rather than return to baseline, they will not be ready to talk as this will make the shame larger and they will shut down about wanting to talk. Talking at this stage should be general and supportive. Once the child is at baseline and rational brain is back online:
help them to connect their feelings to their behaviour
recognise how their feelings lead to a certain behaviour and how they can use a different strategy for next time
teach coping skills for next time, help them to make a plan for next time
teach the child to reflect on what happened and learn better strategies for next time
ongoing - implement strategies to regulate the nervous system for next time
it is very important to repair the relationship, ensure the child knows you do not hold a grudge and ensure you reconnect with them, this will help the child to know you are a safe place and they can work through these things with you
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