Embedded Files
There is a lot to remember when managing behaviour and supporting students so this page outlines one approach that is the pinnacle. If you can remember one strategy or approach let this be it. This approach is about building and maintaining trust and relationships. If a child does not trust or respect you, they will not learn from you. The relationship you have with your students is key.
Know your student
ask them to tell you what makes them feel worried or stressed. Then ask them to order those stresses from the largest to the smallest. Use this knowledge to support and help mitigate stress in your student.
mood will affect their ability to tolerate demands, this is also affected by their level of anxiety or stress. This will be affected by many things; hunger, sleep, change in environment, change in teacher, fight at home or on the playground etc. Know how to recognise when their mood is low.
what are their triggers, signs of anxiety, what helps them calm
Adjust expectations
when tolerance is low and stress is high decrease expectations and provide more support. When tolerance is high and stress is low your expectations can increase and support decreased.
Use indirect requests
make suggestions rather than demands eg "I wonder if you can do this maths activity."
use "Yes if..." rather than no eg Yes you can take a break, if you finish that sentence rather than No you can't take a break until you finish that sentence.
embed choice into their work eg offer three activities that achieve the same aim, allow them to walk around or stand while learning. Remember less than three is not seen as a choice to the brain.
make an indirect declaration of what is needed rather than a demand eg "we need the classroom to be tidy" rather than "you need to tidy up your mess."
ask for help or say out loud, "I am not very good at this, I wonder if anyone can help me."
do not make the request about them or you rather state that it is something that has to be done as it is a rule of the school or from the Government eg I have to teach you writing because the Government tells me I have to.
Further information and reading on this can be found in the Demand Avoidance page of this site or the and References and Further Reading section.
Meltdowns
A meltdown is when a child feels there is no way out and the level of pressure they feel is intolerable to them. Prevention is best, using the above or the strategies found in the link, however if prevention was not possible here is some information and strategies. Remember a meltdown looks different for every child. The child will revert to their brainstem and display either fight, flight or freeze responses.
A meltdown happens is stages and your response will depend on the stage the child is in. A response designed for a different stage will not work and, at times, have a negative impact.
What to do
During the Meltdown
Meltdown rising - student is displaying signs of irritation, they may be using a louder or higher pitched voice, they may struggle to remain still, movement may be erratic. Use distraction, humour, adjust the level of the demand, compromise.
Rising higher - student is physically agitated, they may do things that are shocking eg swear, threaten to throw items, yell. Validate their feelings, pause, remain calm, use a soft tone of voice, let them know you are there to support them, ignore their shocking behaviours, let them know you care.
Complete meltdown - fight; yell, scream, throw items, use physical violence, swear, say offensive things flight; student may run away, climb high places, freeze; create a ball with their body, hide, close their eyes, cover their face, become non responsive and non verbal.
Clear a space for them, remove other people from the area, provide one on one support with a trusted person, remain calm, do not talk much and when you do only say positive, caring and affirming things eg "I am here to help you", "I care about you, you are safe".
After the Meltdown
Meet the child where they are emotionally. Bruce Perry’s Sequence of Engagement is guided by the understanding that when the lower brain is dysregulated, disorganised, and inefficient the higher brain, such as the cortex, cannot function. When children are dysregulated or upset, they have little ability to use reason, logic and insight. Reasoning, reminding, warning etc a child of the rules will not end a meltdown. The child is not regulated so they are not able to respond to or process reason or reason themselves.
Regulate - this must be with a trusted adult. It will be different for each child they may need to run, push, scream, allow them to do so in a safe way.
Guide them in taking deep breaths if this is helpful.
For some a back rub helps.
Continue to use a calm voice and continue to tell them you care for them.
Do not have an angry voice face or posture.
Ask the child what they need from you or how you can help.
For the child to become regulated you must be regulated and you must create a safe space for them to do so.
It is imperative for the adult to remain calm, regulated, caring and safe.
Sit or stand side by side, not front on, as this is less confrontational
Relate -
Use distraction; humour, talk about a know topic of interest, point out anything you can see with exaggerated interest, begin an activity and talk to the child about what you are doing, proving ways for the child to join you
Validate their feelings, let them know you understand why they are feeling the way they are and that it is ok, that you are here for them and care for them.
Reason - now that they child is regulated you can talk about the why f what happened and make a plan for next time. Now they can think about what they did, try to understand why, repair any mistakes, and make a plan for how to avoid these situations in the future.
use the Choice Theory 5 questions: what did you want, what did you do to get what you want, did it work, what are some other options, what is your plan for next time.
restore your relationship with the child, help the child restore their relationship with you and others, allow for forgiveness and moving forward
Resources, References and Further Reading
Page updated
Report abuse