Before you engage in the Positive Outcome Process sometimes it is necessary to flip or spiral to help the student be in the frame of mind that will support this process.
Flipping from negative to positive
Find out the perception of the problem, acknowledge the feeling behind it and flip it to be what the student would like it to be.
My friend doesn't let me play - It sounds like you like to be included in games.
The teachers don't believe me - Would you like to be believed?
No matter how much work I do my teacher never thinks it is enough - You want your teacher to be pleased with your work and how much effort you are putting in?
I have tried everything to fix the problem and nothing works - Succeeding is obviously important to you as you have put so much effort into finding a solution, what would you like the situation to look like?
They never listen to me - being listened to is important.
I can't do this - if you could do this would it be better for you than it is now?
I don't care - if you did care what would you tell me? or Who is someone that cares about this and what would they say? or What difference would it make if you did care?
The work is too hard - if you could do the work and succeed how would that be for you? or What is it like for you when you do succeed with your work?
Spiralling - into their Quality World
Initial Want
What do you want? Answer _____ If you had _______ what would it mean to you? and/or How would things be different? and/or How would it be better?
Deeper Want - values
If ______ was happening where might it lead you? and/or How would it be important to you? and/or What would be the best thing about having ______?
Deepest Want - identity
What would you be thinking about yourself? and/or What would your life look like? and/or How would you see yourself?
Reference links.
Choice Theory by William Glassar
Art of Leadership