A Letter To My Child (給我孩子的一封信)

給我孩子的一封信

A Letter To My Child

陳哲生/張毓珊

My dearest child,

Before anything else, I want to let you know that daddy loves you which I know you already knew but I still wanted you to know and always remember. I now know well that you will never feel how I am feeling until one day you have a child of your own which I hope you will have someday because the existence of this feeling is the truest of all. Daddy also wants you to know that it is such a privilege to have you. You make dad happy, proud and strong. I feel able to overcome any challenges or hardship and make tomorrow brighter because of the strength you give me. I am always grateful for the brief moments we shared together because I know you can not wait to grow up faster to explore this magical world, live your dream life and learn about who you are. I hope you will find everything life has to offer moreover, I hope this letter can set you off on a better course.

As you also know well that daddy has been writing a book for now decades, this letter is intended to be part of this book because what I am about to say is expressed most naturally when express as a letter to you, my child, instead of a plain, dry, vanilla essay that reads like preaching. There are also a several other good reasons for this doing. First , I know you hardly listen to me and perhaps will also never read my book but you are likely to at least read this letter because it is for you. Second, even though our life expectancy is prolonged by one year in about every four, I estimated that you will still outlive me by about forty years. I have wondered about what I can share with you when I am no longer available and how I can best continued to be your guardian angel, your castle and your father. What can I do when you need me then? How do I tell you things that I never had an opportunity to? How can I give you strength and be your shoulder when you need me then. I think this letter while might not be the best solution but it is certainly an available alternative. Moreover, this letter is your birthday present. I know this is bizarre but, by making this letter the present for your twelfth birthday, also for your birthday when you become a college freshman, or when you can legally drink, and when you start off your career. It is the best probable motive for you to read it in everyone of your birthday because the messages in this letter are difficult to comprehend and you might have a different interpretation as you get older. Finally, this letter is a birthday present for my grandchild when you become a parent and for my great-grandchild when you become a grandparent. Yes, this is also a queer idea but I think it is an applicable one in a strange way. This doing will ensure the messages in this letter survive and are read by our love ones and it might then become a family tradition so does help me with this task, as my birthday day present.

Like other parents, daddy is concerned about your schooling, your grades and your learning. Sometime the desire and the well to intervene can be overwhelming and difficult to control. Daddy was very fortunate to be taught by some of the greatest thinkers in the best universities. They have surely made a huge difference on me. They not only enlightened and inspired me to many great thoughts that shaped our humanity but also anchored many great thinking in me. I am who I am now because I have many of these giants to thank for. Looking back on those years, I know how crucial a good mentor can be. As an analogy, a good preacher can interpret the God's word that enlighten and shed the light on one's believe. I am grateful that you have a curious mind, and a strong opinion that you will guard against, and a passion for reading. God has already gifted you with the most essential elements. However, I know while these are necessary yet still insufficient to fulfill your soul. I have wonder many times how I can best share with you what I was shared while not pushing or stressing you that you lose interested or feel boredom. Today, the half life of knowledge has rapidly shortening; the technology is increasingly becoming discrete and almost every facet in the world in becoming exponentially transient. How can I then share with you knowledge, understanding and feeling in a world that will soon outgrow me, in an era that will soon ditch me? I am almost clueless to what your world might become. Your generation is living in an ever more complex, complicated yet wonderful time. There is this video, “Do You Know?” which was put together by a group of high school teachers on their thoughts on the challenges for education in the 21st century. I think we have all realized that perhaps the most important skills that we ought to share with you is a passion to dream and a love to learn.

Sadly and certainly scarily, most of people do forget what they have read or learn in weeks if not months. Literature professors in university forgot simple algebra learned in middle high school, your science teachers forgot “The Wrath of Grapes” which they read in high school, I certainly have forgotten many things that I have learned in school or read in books. It is a common trait of men that no one can remember perfectly everything what they have read or learned. I always find it a big contradiction that if we are to forget anyway, why should we still sacrifices the time playing on learning? It troubles me whenever I am receiving a dull lecture because how much well I recall a week later? Compounded this with the fact that today the knowledge is increasingly short lived and the world is increasingly transcended, this trait is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because we might as well not learn anything because whatever knowledge we learned may render useless or wrong only moments later. It is a curse because when you are ill and being examined by a physician, or consulting any professional experts on problems in hands, you can not help but wonder just how much does he remember and how up to date will he be? Nevertheless, still, the saddest of all things is many people do indeed stop learning. In process of learning, they lost the passion to dream and forget the joy in learning. Learning becomes an acute pain, a true frustration and a real work instead of fun. They now also have the proper justification for their doing. If we are to move forward, we must identify an effective solution to the above traits and challenges.

“Learning to read”, while reading is not the sole or the most effective method in learning, it is most widely practice. We therefore must all begin with it. Because reading requires learning, it is outmost important to recognize "Reading for fun" is a difficult but important habit to acclimatize. Kids just wanted to have fun but not all kids can find fun in reading so persuading children that reading is fun requires creativity and absolution. For the record, there was this one time that your uncle David and I were caught reading comic, which are consider poison but fun, after school by your grand mother and she surely taught us a lesson on her karate. But, now looking backs and connecting the dots, I am able to keep my Chinese and love reading largely owing to these comic. Addicting kids to “reading for fun” sometime requires reading bad but fun books. I argue there is almost no dull book. Each book, regardless of its author, its format, its type or its content, is fun in its own ways. There are certainly different varieties of books just like there are different categories of video games. Some are simple and become dull in minutes, some are complex and challenge to master, some are insanely addictive and impossible to let go, some will require you to think and predict your opponents’ moves. You really can not predict how you feel toward a game until you try it and exploring the unfamiliar categories often brings you great surprises and joys. Books are similar. Sometime, the books that you think are absolutely boring may be some of the best books you will ever read and treasure. I, myself, also love to read since my childhood and I owe much of this to your grand parents because they respect my choice and tolerant my freedom in exploring my interest, or they are just too busy with work to mind me. This respect unleashed me and, in return, I should respect and tolerant your wills and further encourage you to explore yourself, learn yourself. Their doing set me apart from other pupils. While most of my classmates read because they were instructed to, I was freed to read what I dream and am curious of. These include many fantasy and sci-fi which most of parents would consider mind poison. There are certainly better choices of books but it is these that enchained me to reading and to dreaming. “Reading for fun” is the first foot step on the path leading to “learning to dream”. I think it is only when you are on this path of “learning to dream” that you can master what I coined “active learning”. Active learning habituate you to discover the excitement involved with learning and I think it is one of the most crucial affection to nurture in one's childhood. In contrast to “passive learning” where you are forced to swallow what is pushed down on you, you are encouraged to choose what you desire; in return, you enjoy and remember what you read. I know you already love reading and this is wonderful because you will discover reading is a powerful communication.

There is this interesting trick that I often utilize when reading a book and I called it proactive reading. It simply requires you to think ahead about what will happen next in the pages to come, to guess what author is able to write and to questions why what is written is written, what author wants to tell you but can not. In shorts, think and converse with author. When I read a book proactively, I often felt like I am having an actual conversation with the author, learning how he thinks and playing with him. It is the most fun way in reading. You can start from Sherlock Holmes but it not only applies for fiction but works great for just about all books. You must try it. You might feel uncomfortable because generally we just want to know what happen next but if you stop, think a little and wonder away then return to the reading, you will discover an exciting new method in learning. "Reading to learn", one of the most common learning method will naturally become a skill you possess and though this, as you absorb more information, comprehend more knowledge and begin to feel the complexity in society, you will begin to question and dream; you will be astonished by the power of thinking. Thinking is the outmost important skill of all. It is the Holy Grail in learning and the key is to think structurally, systematically yet creatively and bravely. As you become accustom to proactive reading, you will find yourselves conversing with the authors intellectually and learning from their thinking directly. I will then leave you to the hands of these giants to escort you through the valleys of death and anchor those great thinking in you as they have done in me.

Given the trait of men to easily forget what have learned and the fact that everything is increasingly transient, we must learn how to learn effectively and quickly to stay in accord with the world and not consumed by the changes. By analyzing the process of learning, daddy has divided learning into four separate but intimate stages. I have named these four stages, "remembering", "comprehending", "feeling" and "challenging". The "remembering" stage is particularly associated with the "what’s" and thus, the key is to absorb and to remember the pure data, facts and information. Almost all of the learning begins from knowing and remembering the facts. These facts constitute the most fundamental building blocks in our thoughts. The facts can be as simple as the 1, 2, 3, the meaning of words, the capital of nations, the names and characteristics of planets in the solar systems, the pi, the constitution of America, the history ... these are all facts. An important property of facts is they are unchangeable, at least, we can clearly describe the duration of their validity. "Know-what’s" stage enable us to examine and verify our thoughts and hypothesis and thus, the precision of "know-what’s" is essential and must not be compromise without a good cost. Reading is one of the important vehicles in this stage. Memorizing facts is always dull and therefore, it is utterly important to make this stage as exciting and interesting as possible. The "comprehending" stage is built directly upon the facts and has to do with "how’s". We construct the structural and systematic knowledge from the powerful logic of reasoning, the lessons of harsh cause-and-consequence experiences, the in depth understanding of Mother Nature, the realization when Eve ate the poison Apple and other instruments of thinking. Many believes this "know-how’s" stage is a book written in God's words and is a territory forbidden by him because it renders the Father powerless to alter the consequence. Subsequently, it enables men to predict the unseenable future, the behaviors of Mother Nature, and the thoughts of our Father all with sufficient precisions; and, moreover, it allows men to utilize this predictable knowledge to our advantages. Technology is reaped from this tree of "know-how’s". Today, we are able to create many amazing wonders and enjoy a more sophisticate living standard because we have better masterminded this book of "know-how’s". It is the thoughts that count. It is men's thoughts at work. Today, we not only predict tomorrow, we also shape our future and, perhaps, even control our own Destiny. Destiny being supposedly the inevitable has always captured my heart, my thought and my soul. Men are creatures with feelings. We not only have a mind for comprehension, we also have a heart for passion and a soul to strive for unimaginable endeavors. Our behaviors are however largely guided by our passionate "feeling"; thus, the "feeling" is the third stage in learning. "Feelings" connects our "comprehension" directly to the emotions of our society in our era. Comprehension is a servant of our feelings. The bloody history is written by men's action not thoughts and the multi-facets reality can only be understood by feeling “why’s". From the falls of Caesar to the defeat in the Vietnam war, from invention of the monetary unit to the inhuman terror of the investment bankers, from the Gospel to the Quran, from the Fascism to the democracy, from the 911 to the Peace Corp, from the ballet to the Michael Jackson’s moon walk, from the boy that just yelled at his mom to the girl that kissed the old man, and many other facets of everyday life, "know-why’s" is the key to understand various events and the happening in history. Wars are emotion in action. It is the tears, the laughter, the fears, the hatreds that force us to stand up against our fate. Feeling is the simplest reason behind the actions taken to resolves matters. It is the men trying to do God's work. This "feeling" is why men take justice into his own hands, this "feeling" is why man attempts to built a better tomorrow for our children, this "feeling" is why man desperately seeking to alter the course of his Destiny. It is only when we feel the pain in era, it is only when we feel the movement in society, it is only when we feel the injustice in fate, "Feel Know-whys" will enable you to feel the pains the path taken and the road traveled. It is only when we "feel know-whys" that we are able to truly charter our new Destiny. The final stage of the four learning process is the "challenging" of "why-nots". This stage begins from the end of feelings for "why’s", we must dare to doubt, to question, to dream and to challenge the "why-nots". The passionate "feelings" for "why’s" has escalated to a new level where your "comprehension" on the "how’s" and the "remembering" on the "what’s" are now calling you for actions. "Challenging" the "why-nots" is the most powerful and productive stage in learning because you are putting your life on the line. Learning is no longer an entertainment, a mind exercise, or a medicine for broken hearts, it is a serious business and everything certainly matters. It is only when we dare to risk ourselves, our name, our children and our life that the venture for a brave new Destiny begins.

There is a clear distinction between the active learning and passive learning particularly in the steps of learning. The common passive learning begins in classroom with teachers using standard textbooks and procedures to force students to remember the "know-whats", then gradually leveled up to the "know-how’s" regardless of students comprehending the knowledge or not. Perhaps because the students are forced to memorize the cause-effect structured knowledge, this clear lack of motivation rendering the students to quickly forget the knowledge pushed to them. Because it is difficult to test or verifies how the students "feel" toward the learned facts and knowledge, there is no motivation to assist students to feel the "whys" and finally, the established educational institutions may also discourage the students to "challenge" the "whys-not’s". Most importantly, because one can not feel the true value of what’s, how’s, and whys, this process of learning gradually caused the students to lose interest in learning and further perceived learning as painful, frustration and a real work. In contrast, the active learning begins by motivating the child to dream, to be creative and to challenge the establishment by questioning "why-not’s". The authority must learn to encourage this type of learning especially in a more isolated society because only this can leads to a better tomorrow. One of the greatest traits of America is its liberal educational system, its democratic society and innovative venture-oriented market economy that all encourages one to challenge the "why-nots". When succeeded, the paybacks for these brave ones are simply handsome and so attract more challengers to strive on new endeavors. Because the paybacks are phenomena and the life is truly on the line, the learning process is extremely efficient. You can quickly feel the "why’s", comprehend the "know-how’s" and remember the "know-what’s". The waste is reduced to a minimum. Because you are exploring the unknown and are venturing into a new Destiny, the learning itself also become exciting. You will also be encouraged to utilize best of what you have learned and to dream. Curiosity, while with a less thrust, also has a similar effect in reversing the learning process. By staying curious, you will choose to feel about the emotions of the everyday events. By staying curious, you will better comprehend the knowledge structured from "know-how’s" and remember the facts from "know-what’s" because it holds to key to verify your decision and reduce the risks in your endeavor.

Acknowledging learning is painful and dull and commonly not welcome by men is imperative. A viable alternative is trick you addict to reading first, then guide you accustom to proactive reading; finally familiarize you acclimatize to active learning. This is done by catalyzing with a natural behavior of men, dreaming. Each and every one of us dreams. We dream when we sleep at night, we dream when we feel bore at day, we dream when we see something we want, we dream when we wish for something. We dream, because we wish, because we crave and this often defines how we live. Craving is a feeling. Saying what I have just said, I know well that you already feel. You feel joy, sad, fear, anger and confusion. You feel you want ice cream, you feel you like playing basketball, and you feel you like exciting new thrills. Feeling itself is a fierce breast. Feeling is difficult to steer or grab a hold of. Feeling is often like a mist easily mistaken and misunderstood. Feeling is often not singular but mixtures of odd tastes and a mosaic of transient moods. Feeling can be a devil yet it can be an angel. Learning to know and control your feeling is often a task almost impossible. Nevertheless, a failure to control your own temper or feelings may often prove lethal and deadly. Although we shall always be true to our feelings, this is particularly challenging because feelings are often transient and mischief. Sometimes we may be frightened by our own feelings. Sometime we may be shocked by the power of this creature. Sometime we may be praying for the ever lasting of a particular feeling. Because feeling is such a powerful creature, we are often consumed by it instead of us steering it. Our behavior, discourse, decision and even faith often determine by our feelings and states of moods. In short, in our common daily life, we can often be defined by how we feel.

Despite the fact that feelings are transient and mischief, feelings are most certainly real and true. It is with this thought and state of mind that I wanted to share with you other possible definitions of living. I once had an enlightening experience. I now can still recall the precise happening of this event and relive the moments of feelings that I felt. I was terribly horrified in this particular incident that I felt the death has breathed in me. In midst of this horror, a shed of confidence unexpectedly grow in me. I later realized that this queer mixture of fear and confidence is the lone evidence of my existence. This adrenaline rush was a true confirmation that I exist in this verse universe in infinite moments of time. In another word, I felt my soul. And, it is always a thrill to feel that you exist. The feeling of existence does not necessary confined to horror or confidence. Ever since this episode, I have encountered various other strange situations that also let me felt my own existence. I equally feel my existence when I tear, laugh, sad and hurt. It is when we targeted our complete attentions to these feelings that we become aware of our self-existence. Existence is an awakening call. It wants you to proactively recognizing yourself and defining your life. You can certainly google this exciting concept under “existentialism” and learn everything you want on it. Accepting your existence is crucial because you are now aware and know you will be held responsible for the consequence of your own action. You have matured and are now an adult. Existence becomes a brake. You will begin to have second thoughts and doubts prior to taking the course of action based on your feeling. Existence will scare and frighten you and you will try to avoid the consequence and attempt to escape the responsibility. Nevertheless, feelings are always honest and it is meaningless to cheat your own feelings. Who will you be if you do not live accord to your feelings? Living a life true to your feeling and retribution is courageous. This is heroic and is beautiful. We often live for a mere moment in life or a simple objective to relive a particular moment of feelings in life. Life always has its consequence and its retribution regards of how it is live. But, you decide and you are responsible. There is no escape in this retribution. Given this, why let anyone else decide your life for you. They are not there to take the heat even if they want to, they can not. You can certainly ask for advises and second opinions but you ultimately must decide for yourself and bare the consequences. As much as I love you and willing to carry your cross for you, this is your life so take control and be responsible for your existence. Unless you are an imbecile, actively responsible for your existence is avoidable in life. In short, in our common daily life, we are always responsible for our own existence.

Feeling is indeed the best evidence of confirming our existence. While most of us are guided through life by our bare feelings, there is yet another school of thoughts which offers an opposite perspective toward the existence. Descartes introduced us to this new perspective when he states "Cogito ergo sum" or in English, "I think, therefore I am". Descartes argues that thinking is the evidence of one's existence and I can not agree more. He encouraged us to doubt and to question and argued that it is only when we doubt, the evidence of a clear conscience and evidence of intellectual thinking, which proves our existence. I do not want to get into the arguments on which of feeling or thinking is nobler. As men are easily capable of feeling, men are also easily capable of thinking. I have learned that thinking complements feeling rather than dismisses it. While we shall be true to our feelings in life, we must also learn to, as Einstein often mentioned, "think a little ". Thinking has many traits similar to feelings. It is equally transient and mischief. It is equally powerful and equally impossible to steer sometimes. Through history, men have gradually learned to think completely, structurally and systematically. Man is most certainly the only species that has self-awareness and thus, capable of thinking. Thinking is therefore the most precious gift from our heavenly Father. Thinking is also difficult to define. How can we distinguish thinking from feeling? The key to unlock this door lies in curiosity and doubt. Free thinking also most certainly creates great unrest and tension in society but it is also this particular behavior that motives us to seek for the truth. As we grow elder and consume more information and knowledge, complementing these with sufficient curiosity and inspiration, dreaming is most obvious and natural. It is however, difficult to think constructively, systematically and structurally. I think system programming is a practical method to learn, train and master thinking. Thinking like feeling is a very private activity. Like an artist or an author’s creation, thinking also requires creativity. Thinking is also a sport because it can certainly elevate our feelings and awareness of social events to a new level. The giants in history all have a very peculiar logic behind their thinking that becomes associates with their name thus think differently must be encourage, protected and honored. It is through these particular traits of thinking that they defined themselves. We do owe much to these great thinkers because it is them whom shaped our Destiny. One of the objectives of learning is to think in a particular fashion that can not attain solely. There are questions in many subjects, domains and professions that you must think and answer in your own terms. Like getting married or reading a book, no one can nor shall do it for you. It just would not be the same if this thinking is done for you. I also can not imagine why one would want to either. What is the pleasure then? In answering these mind-boggling questions, in values, morals, ethics, life, religion and all other subjects, your thinking instead of your feelings will gradually shape you into a mature, wise yet passionate person. “I think thus I am” is an available option to define one’s life. In short, in our common daily life, we must think and define our existence.

We now have a minimum of three alternatives to live a life, “I feel thus I am”, “I exist thus I am”, and finally “I think thus I am”. I know these options are not mutually exclusive nor collectively exhaustive; in fact, again, I think these choices complement each others and you are certainly welcome to broaden the selections. I want you to know well that regardless of what your decision is, I want you to choose what your heart tells you to so you will be happy. Saying so much, I think you must think I am smart, wise and never made mistakes. The truth is simply the opposite. I have done so many stupid things, made so many mistakes, and have so many regrets that I feel shameful of myself. We all wanted to be happy and every decision that we make, we hope it is right. This is just not true. The truth is more like you make a best guess then prays for the best. Given these, you must still have the courage to choose and walk hard. You must know it is okay to make mistakes. We all do. We are only human after all. So, decision is difficult and always wrong but so what? I will respect and support your choosing in your own path, faith and destiny in life even if I disagree and even if I dislike it. This is the least a father can do for his beloved child. Once chosen, burden, frustration, doubts and regrets will unquestionably all rush in. Although I will stand by you when you accept the retribution, it will still be hard and watching it will not be easy either. I hope I can always be there for you whenever you need me but if I can not for whatever the reason, you must always know that you have my blessing and I know you can do it. I know well that choosing your own path is perhaps the most difficult challenges of all so do take your time.

Finally, I want to share with you my thoughts on THE QUESTION. Why are you here? Honestly, you are a surprise. Unlike any man-made artifacts that have a reason or a purpose prior to its creation. Men are not. Even those that are planned and expected, they never know what they are getting. No one does until perhaps one day we can engineer and design our gene. I am still not certain that I will welcome this. Having said this, you, the unexpected, have surely fulfill the void of my life and have far exceeded my greatest expectation. You are nothing short of Jesus. You are a true miracle. However, still, I have no clue why you are here and it is a question that when you feel up to it, you will need to address by yourself. Not everyone needs to answer this question. I still have no idea on why I am here nor do I have a clue on the purpose of my life and I am old supposedly wiser. Like any other layman, I have a job, a career but making a living or living itself does not answer who I am or why I am here.

I think for most of us, to answer the question requires us to go out on the real world, do everything that we dislike, make every mistake that we can find, take every challenge that we will fail, fight every battle that we will lose, only then will we find inner peace, learn about who we are, and why we are here. I hope this does not offend anyone but it is the harsh truth.

Most of people just live and trying to find the happiness in life and I think it is a blessing able to live a simple life. Only some, the fortunate or I think really the unfortunate, have the wills and the courage to define their purpose in life with action. Defining the purpose in life is different from wanting things in life. Almost everyone wants luxury toys, to become a billionaire, have beautiful companions, have fame but no responsibility, be good looking, travel around the world in style, and power and etc. Having wants do successfully propel many to work and through the process, the world did become better or worse by it. Some people are gifted with more shares of these wants so life is not fair which you must know by now. Wants are self-centered and based primary on feelings. Wants are not evil but it is just different from the purpose. A purpose is a vision, a dream that is for a greater whole and a better day. Having wants already creates stress and caused misery, burns suffering in life. Having a vision, having a dream is only worse because it is for more than you. The only thing possibly worse is pursuing the dream, the purpose. Interestingly, history is never short of these goal getters. Only men will self-imposed these stress and misery. This is absurd but true. We however owe much, if not everything, to them. It is through their vision, their dream, their suffering, their endeavor, their sacrifice that we have today, a much better day. The dreams of these giants however big or small, noble or strange, daring or evil, applicable or simply impossible, materialized or not all have changed the destiny of humanity. These giants wrote our history. They solved or imposed our problems. It is their dream that motivates us. It is their dream that we follow. It is their dream that we believe in. We live a life through them. These dreams elevated our standards of living and give us assorted wonders in life. Can you imagine how dull the life would be without the dreams of these giants? Some of these dreams have saved our life, our soul and gave us hope and liberty, joy and dignity. We do owe them and must be grateful of them.

Building a dream is entirely different from having one. It requires an unimaginable magnitude of courage and often stupidity to materialize this dream especially when it is one that benefits the greater mankind. One of the most important virtues of democracy is freeing and fostering the dreamers. People's dream can be so different that conflicts betweens these dreamers and establishments are most certain. A dreamer will therefore face various challenges, reproaches, suppressions and denials, sometime, even death. It is only a fact that most of dreamers fail then lives miserably. Some of them may have small luck and receive small success but very rare does one hit a jackpot. We still do not know why those hit the jackpot did. It seems like luck is the most dominant factor. In short, just about each and every one of these dreamers suffers. They are often the victim of their own dream. As a father, I pray that you will never have such a heart because I worry you will suffer like them and be a victim of your own dream. Nevertheless, if you do grow to have such an appetite to be one of these leaders, it is then only my duty to encourage you to live your dream. I know it may be beyond my strength to protect you from the dangers involved but I promise to stand by you the best I could. May God give you the courage and the wisdom.

Daddy once gave a speech on . This title imposes a question for the generation X on what they intend to do as time exceeds the year 2000 in the e century. Each generation has its duty and destiny to fulfill. Your generation and you will also have yours. Life begins when you dare to materialize your dream. If you dare, dream big, dream wild and dream out loud and clear.

May God bless you.

Love always and forever,

Dada

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我親愛的孩子，

在我跟你說其它事情之前，我想要先讓你明白爸爸是很愛很愛你的，雖然我了解你已經深知這件事了，但我還是想要說出來讓你知道更要讓你永遠記得。我知道在你擁有自己的小孩的那一天之前，是無法切身體會這種感受的，而我希望有一天你能有這福氣，因為只有這感受的存在是最最真實的。爸爸也要你了解，擁有你是爸爸莫大的福氣！你讓我快樂無比、使我引以為傲，更是給我勇氣膽識，賜予我自信以克服所有挑戰及艱難，讓明日更燦爛輝煌，只因為你給了我力量。我很感恩我們在一起的短暫時光，因為我也知道你已經等不及的想快點長大，趕緊探險這夢幻般的世界，享受如夢似的生活及了解神為你準備的一切。我祝福你能找到所有你想要的，更希望這封信能幫助你在一開始就駛向較佳的旅程。

而你也知道，爸爸在寫一本已寫了好幾十年的書了，這封給你的信我也打算放在這本書中，因為將我想告知你的事寫成一封給你的信，能讓我最自然的表達我的心意，不然有誰會想讀篇枯燥乏味的說教式訓言。我希望當你在讀這封信時，能就像看到我跟你面對面談話。我會這麼做還有其它的理由。首先，我知道你很難專心的聽我說話，而且你也許從來都不會去讀我寫的書，但至少你應該會看完這封信，因為這是特意寫給你的。第二，今日人類的平均壽命大概每四年就會多一歲，依此計算我預估你仍會比我多活約四十年。故我想在我死後該如何繼續當你的守護天使、你的避風港和你的父親？當你需要我的時候，我可以為你做些什麼？我該如何跟你分享那些我沒機會告訴你的事情？當你需要我的時候，我該如何給你力量、當你能依靠的肩膀？我想雖然這封信不是最佳的解答，但它絕對是較可行的替代方案。另外，這封信也是你的生日禮物。我知道這有點古怪，但因為這封信是你十二歲的生日禮物，也是你上大學那年的生日禮物、還有當你長大可合法喝酒時的生日禮物、或是當你開始進入社會那年的生日禮物，這讓你在每年生日時都有再讀這封信的動機，因為信中的內容有點難以了解，而你的感觸也會隨著年紀的增長而有所不同。最後，這封信也是當你成為母親時給我孫子的生日禮物，及當你成為祖母時給我曾孫的生日禮物。是的，我知道這又是個怪誕的主意，但我覺得怪雖怪，還是可行的啦。因為這樣可以確保這封信的訊息能持續在我們的摯愛中存活下去，並在家族中傳遞下去；甚至它有機會成為我們家族的傳統，所以務必幫我這個忙，當作是給我的生日禮物吧。

就像其他的父母親一樣，爸爸也會關心你的學校教育、你的成績和你的學習狀況。有時候想介入的意願會強大到難以駕馭。爸爸很幸運的能夠在很好大學裡得到許多卓越智者們的指導，他們確實的對我產生了很深遠的影響，他們不僅啟發我認知那些塑造我們人性的遠大思想，更在我心中深植了甚多偉大的想法，我現在之所以成為這樣的我都要感謝這些巨人們。回顧過去這些年，我了解到一個良師是多麼的重要。如同一位好的牧師可以更詳盡的詮釋上帝的旨意，進而啟發信徒對信仰的感悟。我很感謝上帝賞賜你擁有好奇的心和會捍衛自己主見的勇氣，及對閱讀的濃厚熱誠，上帝已經送給你這最不可或缺的特質，我知道這些是必要的，但是仍不足滋潤與填滿你的心靈。因此我時常在想，我該如何在不讓你感受到壓力或不適而促使你失去學習的興趣，或感到無聊的情況下，跟你分享別人與我分享過的心靈雞湯。今日，知識的半衰期在快速的縮短中，日新月異的科技以破壞式的手段百家爭鳴，幾乎世界上的每一面均更瞬息萬變。我該如何在即將被這世代淘汰之餘，還跟你分享些仍有效且有用的知識、領會和感受？我對於你們生活的世界將會是何種模樣，幾乎完全沒有頭緒，我該如何跟你分享呢？你們這代將生活在一個更錯綜複雜，更深奧難懂，卻又更加美好的時代。有一部影片，叫做「你知道嗎?」，記錄一群美國的中學老師呼籲該如何面臨21世紀教育挑戰的建言。我想我們都認知到，也許我們唯一能跟你們這代分享的重要技能是如何去熱愛夢想及學習。

然而很可惜也很可怕的是，一般人都會在數週內忘記所讀和所學的事物。大學的文學教授忘記他在國高中時代所學的簡單代數；你的自然科學老師忘記他高中所讀的文學作品，如紅樓夢；我也真的忘記了很多以前在學校學的和在書上讀的東西，這是人類的通病及人性的特質。沒有任何一個人可以完全的記住他曾經讀過和學過的東西，我覺得這是個大矛盾，如果我們會忘記所學的，為什麼仍將玩耍的時間拿來學習？當我在上一堂我自認會很快忘記且又無趣的講座時，我只會想應該溜出去玩會更快樂些。如果再考量在這資訊爆炸，知識迅速無用的時代，這通病似乎是個祝福也是個詛咒。它是個祝福，是因為我們有理由不再學習，因為所學的也很快就無用且會變成錯的。它是個詛咒，是因為當你生病去看醫生或有其它疑難雜症去求訪專家時，你無法不克服自己去猜疑眼前這專家記得起多少所學的，在專業上有跟得上時代嗎？然而，最令人難過的是許多人是真的停止學習了。在學習的過程中，他們失去了執有夢想的熱情和忘記習得的樂趣，學習變成了一種尖銳的痛苦、一種痛心的挫折和一種苦厭的差事。現在這些人也找到可以不用學習的正當理由。如果我們要持續的往前，我們必須找到能實質解決上述通病及挑戰的有效方案才行。

「學習閱讀(Learning to read)」雖然不是唯一最有效的學習方法，但閱讀確是最普遍及實用的方式，所以我們必須從學習閱讀開始。然而因為閱讀是必須學習的，故首先要認清培育「在快樂中閱讀(Reading for fun)」是件困難但必要的習慣。孩童們均喜愛擁有歡樂，但並非所有的孩童均會認為閱讀是歡樂有趣的，所以說服他們閱讀是歡樂有趣的需要些想像力及寬恕。我記得有一次我和你叔叔David放學後被你奶奶逮到我們在看一般認為不宜的漫畫書時，她狠狠的給我們教授了一堂她的柔道功夫。但是現在回想過去那些點點滴滴，我之所以能夠保有我的中文能力與閱讀的興趣，實要歸功於這些漫畫書。讓孩童對閱讀上癮，有時實在必須讓他們閱讀不宜但有趣的書本才會有實際的成效。而我也認為沒有書是乏味無趣的，每一本書不論它的作者、文章架構、類型或是內容，都有它有趣的地方。這些不同類別的書就像那些不同屬性的電玩遊戲一樣。有些很簡單，讓你玩沒多久就感到無聊；有些很複雜，要不斷的挑戰才能進步；有些會讓你瘋狂沉迷，愛不釋手；有些則需要思考和預測你對手的下一步。在你實際動手親身體會一個電玩遊戲之前，你無法預知你對這套遊戲會有怎樣的感受；而探索那些你不熟悉的電玩遊戲，有時會帶給異想天開的驚喜跟樂趣。書本也是一樣，有時候你未讀之前，會覺得這本書絕對是無聊至極，但它卻有可能成為你讀過最喜歡也最珍惜的。我從小時候就很熱愛閱讀，對這我很感激你爺爺和奶奶，因為他們尊重我的選擇，更容忍了我莫大的自由去發掘我自己的興趣。因為他們對我的信任與尊重，使我能無拘無束的全方位的發展自己的喜好，所以相同的，我也應該尊重和容忍你的偏好，甚至應該鼓勵你去發掘與認識自己。因為如此，使我與其他同年紀的小孩有所不同，當大部份的同學都被迫在唸他們不感興趣的書時，我可以自由的閱讀我想讀的、看我所感興趣的書，這其中包含了及許多科幻等一般父母視為智力毒藥的書。當然還有其它更好的書籍選擇，但是這些書培育了我閱讀的喜好，引我進入夢想的領域。「在快樂中閱讀(Reading for fun)」是通往「學習築夢(Learning to dream)」小徑關鍵的第一步。我認為只有身在「學習築夢(Learning to dream)」的小徑上，我們才可能習得我所謂的「積極學習(active learning)」。積極學習讓你樂於發掘學習所帶給你的樂趣，而且我認為這會對一個人小時候的教育產生很重要的影響，相較於被動學習，你會被迫要吞下別人硬塞給你的東西，相反的，我們鼓勵你去選擇你所想要的，因此我想你將會喜愛並記住你所讀過和學過的事物。我知道你已經熱愛閱讀，這是件超棒的事情，因為你將會發現閱讀是種具有神奇力量的溝通。我在閱讀時我常習慣採用一個我稱為主動閱讀的方式。基本上這方式就是要你去猜想接下來會發生什麼事，去猜測作者要寫什麼，為什麼要這麼寫他所寫的，有什麼是他想告訴我們卻無法說的。簡而言之，嘗試著與作者交談。當我用此方法閱讀時，我感覺是在與作者交談，學習他的思考且像在跟他玩耍，這是閱讀最有趣的方式。你可以從福爾摩斯開始，但這方式不限於小說，基本上對所有的閱讀均適用。你一定要試試看！剛開始你可能感到不適或不習慣，因為我們一般在閱讀時都想趕快知道結局，但如果你可以停一下，想一下，猜一下，再回到閱讀當中時，你會發現一個全新更刺激的學習方法。「從閱讀中學習(reading to learn)」一個最普遍的學習方法會很自然成為你熟練的方法。透過這方法，你會自然的吸收更多的資訊、了解更多的知識和感受到這真實社會的複雜性，你也會自然的開始懷疑，開始築夢。你也會發現思考的魔力。思考是最重要的技能，是學習的聖杯。思考的關鍵在於有結構及系統思維時仍能保有豐富的想像力和膽識。當熟悉主動閱讀後，你將會發現你可以和作者溝通與直接習得他們的思維。而我也在此時，將你交付於這些巨人們的手裡，就像他們對我那樣帶你通過死亡的幽谷，並且將偉大的思想深植你心。

因為人類有忘記所學的特質，在瞬息變化萬千的今時，我們更加必須習得如何快速且有效益的學習，才不會被時代的巨輪所淘汰。分析學習的階段，爸爸將學習分成了四個看似無關，卻又彼此緊密關聯的階段，並稱它們為「牢記(remembering)」、「理解(comprehending)」、「感受(feeling)」、和「挑戰(challenging)」。在「牢記(remembering)」這個階段，重點就是去熟記事物的「what’s」，因此關鍵就在於能夠吸收和記住各種不同的數據、事實和資訊。所有的學習幾乎都從記憶事實出發，故這些事實構成了我們思想中絕大部分的知識基礎。事實可以像1,2,3那樣的簡單、字彙的意思、國家的首都、太陽系中行星的名稱和特性、π約等於3.141593、美國憲法和各世代的歷史等，這些也全都是事實。而這些事實最重要的特性在於它們是不變的，即使之後可能會改變時，我們仍可以明確的描述出它的有效期限。「know-what’s」的階段使我們能夠去檢視和證實我們思維的假設，因此「know-what’s」的精準度就變得很重要。在沒有充分的理由下，是不該輕易妥協事實的精準度。閱讀是這階段最重要的工具之一。背誦這些事實實在是令人感到無趣，因此讓這學習階段令人感到興奮和有趣就變成關鍵。而「理解(comprehending)」這階段是建立在這些事實上與「how’s」相關。我們從強而有力的邏輯推理中、殘酷的因果教訓裡、對大自然的深入探討、當伊娃偷嘗禁果後的頓悟和其他思維等等，我們建立了結構性和系統性的知識。很多人認為「know-how’s」這階段是一本天書詳載天父的旨意，因此是被神所禁止的領域，因為它使天父無力去改變結果。理解後，它使我們能精準的預測未見的未來、大自然的行為和上帝的旨意。此外，它更讓我們運用這能精準預知未來的優勢來改造我們的文明。科技是從這棵「know-how’s」的樹上所收穫而來的果實。今日我們可以創造許多令人驚艷的新奇事物和享受高水準的生活水平，皆因為我們用心研讀了「know-how’s」這本書。理解是很重要的思維，習得這思維即同等於習得天父的旨意。人定勝天的思維是架構在這思維之上，今日我們思維的重要性凌駕天父的旨意，思維其本身成為今日最主要的工作。今日我們能精準預知明日，我們能具體呈現夢想未來的輪廓，我們甚至可以進而掌控我們自己的命運。命運這應該是早已注定的事，始終佔據了我的好奇心、我的思維和我的靈魂。人類是有靈性的動物。我們不只有理解的能力，更有顆充滿熱情的心和努力不懈的靈魂讓我們成為萬物之王，今日我們主導我們自己的運命。然而我們的行為卻大多源自於我們自身的「感受(feeling)」，因此「感受(feeling)」是學習的第三階段。在我們身處的時代裡，是「感受(feeling)」帶領「理解力(comprehension)」作用於社會上，是情感驅動運命，理解只是感受的僕人和器具。血淋淋的歷史是人類用行動而非思想寫出來的，而這些不同面向的事實只能透過「深感為什麼(feeling-why’s)」來理解。從凱撒大帝的滅亡到越戰的挫敗、從貨幣的發明到手段殘酷的投資銀行家、從基督福音到可蘭經、從法西斯主義到民主主義、從911恐怖攻擊到和平隊(Peace Corps)的存在、從芭蕾到麥可傑克遜的太空漫步、從剛剛對他母親大喊的男孩到親吻了老人的女童，和其他許許多多發生在日常生活的事件，「know-why’s」是認知各種事件和歷史時刻的關鍵。戰爭，是一種情緒的行為表現。是歡笑、淚水、恐懼和仇意迫使我們必須站起來反抗已定運命的枷鎖。這「感受(feeling)」是迫使我們寧願犧牲寶貴的生命，以行動來為天伸張正義的動機。這「感受(feeling)」是驅使我們為了留給我們後代更美好的明天而奮鬥。這「感受(feeling)」正是為什麼我們會不顧一切積極去改變自己的宿命。唯有感受到時代的感受，感受到社會的感受，感受到宿命的感受，唯有在「感受到為什麼(feel Know-whys)」才能讓我們身感歷史所走過的痛苦，而也只有當我們「感受到為什麼(feel Know-whys)」時，我們生命才真正激盪出來自靈魂深處的爆發力讓我們走出宿命，擁有新的命運。而這四個學習過程的最後一個階段則是對於「why-nots」的「挑戰(challenging)」。這階段是從對「why’s」感受的結束開始，我們必須勇於懷疑、提問、夢想和挑戰「why-nots」。當對於「why’s」的熱情將你提升到另一個新的境界，驅使你將「how’s」的理解和「what’s」的記憶同工並付諸行動。挑戰「why-nots」是學習最有效益和最有效率的階段，因為你正用你的生命作賭注。學習不再是種娛樂、腦力激盪或是治癒破碎心靈的良藥，它變成了一件嚴肅的事情，而且每件細節都會影響結局。命運正握在我們的手中，也只有當我們敢拿自己的生命、自己的名、自己的小孩和自己的生活冒險時，新命運的冒險才真正的開始。

在積極學習(active learning)和被動學習(passive learning)之間有很明顯的區別，尤其是在學習的階段上。一般的被動學習，都是由老師在課堂上使用制式的教課書和程序，去強迫學生背誦事實般的「know-whats」，然後不管學生的理解力是否已成熟，就自動升級到「know-how’s」的知識階段。結果大多的學生無法理解課堂上的死道理，只好強迫自己去硬背牢記知識前因後果的結構組織，除為了應付考試外，全然不知如何學以致用。學生在缺乏明顯動機的刺激下，很快就忘記那些硬塞給他們的知識。由於很難去衡量及測試學生對所學知識的感受，也沒有任何動機讓學生想去感受「whys」，最後可能連有些較保守的教育機構也不鼓勵學生們去挑戰「whys-not’s」了，所以大部份的學習時間全浪費了。最重要的是，因為沒有人可以體會what’s, how’s, and why’s的真正價值，因此在這樣的學習過程中，讓學生對學習失去興趣，甚至認為學習是種例行公事，且令人感到痛苦與挫折。相較之下，積極學習則是鼓勵孩子去夢想、去創造和對既定的事實勇於懷疑。在權者必須學著鼓勵這種學習，特別是在較封閉的社會裡，因為唯有這才能創造更好的明天。美國這國家最好的特點之一，在於它自由的教育體制、民主的社會和創新的創業市場經濟，這些都鼓勵每個人勇於挑戰「why-nots」。對於這些勇於挑戰的人們的報酬也非常豪爽，進而吸引更多的挑戰者追求新挑戰。因為獎勵實在是太可觀的，而又將生命當做賭注，一失足成千古恨，因此在這樣的情況下，學習過程極端的有效益及效率。你可以很迅速的感受「why’s」、了解「know-how’s」和記住「know-what’s」，所以不必要的浪費均降至最低。又因當你在探險一個未知的新命運時，學習本身也會變得很令人興奮且深具剌激性，你自然的會去充分結合你的所學和夢想來達成目的。雖然好奇心的動力較差了點，但也有同樣的學習效益。保持對事物的好奇心，會讓你較容易感受到日常生活中的動脈。藉由保持對事物的好奇心，你會提高對「know-how’s」所建構知識的理解力，並且牢記「know-what’s」的事實，因為它會降低你的風險，提高你的決策力讓你較易達陣。

正面的承認學習是痛苦、無趣且不被歡迎的是莊嚴成熟的表現。一個較務實的替代方法是先讓你對閱讀上癮，之後再讓你習慣主動閱讀，最後讓你熟悉積極學習。這個方法的關鍵是以人對於作夢這自然的喜好行為當觸媒，每一個人都會作夢，這不需學習，而且我們愛好作夢。我們在晚上睡覺時會作惡夢，我們在白天無聊時也會作白日夢，我們看到喜愛的東西時就開始作美夢。我們作夢，因為我們有所望，因為我們有渴望，而這渴望通常會決定於你的生活方式。渴望是種感受，如同我剛已說的，我非常了解你已經開始對你日常生活中的人事物有所感受了。你感到高興、難過、害怕、生氣和困惑，你會想要吃冰淇淋，你會想打籃球，你會想找新鮮剌激。感覺本身就像一頭兇猛的野獸，它很難被操縱和掌握，很多時候它就像霧一樣，虛無縹緲的很容易被搞錯和誤解，並且常常不只會出現一種感覺，而是五味雜陳的，如同馬賽克圖案那樣的變化萬千。感覺可以是惡魔，也可以是天使，學著了解和控制你自己的情緒，是一件幾乎不可能的任務。不過，要是情緒和感覺無法控制得宜的話，可能會使自己常暴露危險甚至喪命。雖然我們應該真實的面對我們的感覺，這實在是種挑戰，因為感覺常常是很短暫，且捉摸不定的。有時候我們會對自己的感覺感到害怕，有時候我們會被這強有力的生物所驚嚇到，有時候我們會祈求那曾經持續的感覺。因為感覺是個如此強而有力的猛獸，常常不是我們駕馭它而是它掌控了我們。我們的行為、談吐、決定、甚至是運命，常依我們在那時的感受和情緒而裁定。簡單來說，在我們的日常生活中，我們是依感覺而活。

儘管實際上感覺是很短暫且難以捉摸的，但感覺是絕對真實的。這真實感是接下來我想和你分享其他的生活定義。我曾經有過一個啟發我的經驗，直到現在我還是可以確切的描述當時事情發生的經過和感受，在這次特別的經驗中，我感到非常的懼怕，因為我嗅到了死亡的氣息。身在這恐懼之中，突然卻有種自信不由自主的從我體內散發出來，事後我才知道，在那恐懼和自信混雜的矛盾的感覺中，卻是我存在最強而有力的證據。在這永恆漫長的時間中，在這無限廣大的宇宙裡，只有這腎上腺素激升的反應是確定我存在的最佳證據。換句話，我感到我的靈魂。感受到自我的存在總是令人感到興奮的，存在的感受不僅只會在恐懼或自信時才可獲得。在那次經驗之後，我遇到了許多不同奇奇怪怪的狀況，均讓我感受到我存在的真實感。當我流淚、歡笑和悲傷時，我也同樣可以感受到自己的存在。我想只要我們專注於內心的感受時，我們就會意識到自我存在的真實。存在感是令人頓悟的鐘聲，它要你覺醒主動肯定你自我的存在；它要你開始思考你該如何定義你的一生。你可以在網路上輕易的找到許多關於「存在主義」這令人興奮想法的資料，你自願接受存在這事實是個關鍵，因為只有在接受後，你才能認清你必須勇敢面對及承受你生命中所作的抉擇，接受後也正式表示承認你已經成熟是個成人了。之後，存在感會變成一個有力的剎車。當你憑感覺要作出重大抉擇時，你會開始懷疑決定是否正確，後果是否承擔的起，你會停下來再想一想。存在感會讓你懼怕，讓你想逃避後果，想不用擔當責任。然而，感覺卻也是最真誠的，想欺騙自己的感覺更是毫無意義的。如果你無法依你的感受而活那你是誰呢？真誠的面對自己的感受與報應，用力的活出自己是無比的勇敢。這樣的活是偉大的，更是美麗的。我們活著常常只為了重新再感受生命中的某一瞬間，或只為了追求生命中某一特別的時光。不管你怎麼生活，生命不可能無後果或報應的。重點是，你自己決定，你自己擔當，你絕對無法逃脫這報應。所以，你也不應讓他人來決定你的一生，因為當報應來時，就算他們想幫你承擔也不行。你當然可以多找人商談等，但最後還是必須你自己來決定，你自己來承擔。雖然我無比的愛你，也願意幫你扛背你的十字架，但這是你的生命、你的一生。所以，你必須勇敢的掌握自己的人生，更勇敢的去面對關於抉擇的責任。除非你是弱智兒，不然承擔自我的存在是生命中必然的。簡單來說，在我們的日常生活中，我們永遠要承擔我們自我存在的責任。

我們的感受的確是證明自我存在最好的證據。雖然大部份的人憑感受的指引而活，但有另一個學派對存在提出了相反的論點。笛卡爾提出以思維為出發點的新觀念，他說「我思，故我在」。笛卡爾認為思想是一個人之所以存在的證據，對於這點，我非常同意！他鼓勵我們勇於懷疑、提問和爭論，並主張唯有懷疑，一種理性的思考與富智慧的展現，可以證實我們的存在。我不想去評論思考或感受那個比較崇高。人天生就有感受，同理人天生也就能思考。我確定思考和感覺是互補的，而不是相斥的。既然我們應該要真誠的面對感受而活，我們也理當如愛因斯坦所鼓勵的：「想一點點(think a little)」。思想和感受有許多相似點，一樣是短暫且難以捉摸的，也一樣是強而有力和難以掌握的。在人類長久的歷史中，人們是漸漸的才學會緻密的、結構性和系統性的思考。人是唯一擁有自我意識和思考能力的物種，因此思考是天父賦予我們最珍貴的禮物。然而，思想也是很難去定義的，我們該如何分辨思想和感受呢？這問題的答案就在於好奇心和懷疑。自由的思想也確實為這社會帶來了許多動盪和緊張的局勢，但也正因如此，使我們勇於追尋真相。隨著我們心智的成長，在吸收更多的資訊和知識後，在好奇心及感受的互補下，我們很自然的就會開始築夢。但要建設性的、有系統性的和結構性的思考是困難的，而我認為學習系統程式是種訓練思考的實際有效方法。思想就和感受一樣是私人的行為，就像藝術家或是作家的創作，思想也是需要創造力的；思想也像是種運動，因為可以透過不斷的訓練，確實的提升我們對於社會中事物的感覺和意識的層次。歷史偉人的思維都擁有著很獨特的邏輯想法，這邏輯變成了他們的偉業，因此不同的思想應該被鼓勵、保護和尊重的。而他們也透過這些思維來表達他們自己，我們實在欠這些偉人太多了，因為是他們給了我們今日的便利。而學習的目的之一，就是習得他們獨特的思維。眾多學科、領域和專業中有解決不完的問題，需要你用你自己的方式去思考和解答，就像結婚或是讀一本書，沒有人可以替你完成。你若不自己想，自己體會，你就永遠得不到那想法，我也不懂為什麼會有人想要別人幫他想，這樣有什麼樂趣呢?當你在思考這些令人想破的問題時，如價值、道德、倫理、宗教或其他等等，你的想法會漸漸的取代你的感受把你重新塑造成一個成熟、有智慧且熱誠的人。因此只要給你足夠的時間，思想和感受會互補，兩者重新整合出一個全新的你。「我思，故我是」是另一個可以定義我們生活的選擇。簡單來說，在我們日常生活中，我們必須思考我們存在的目標。

現在我們已經至少有3種人生的生存方式：「我感受，故我是」、「我存在，故我是」、「我思，故我是」。我知道這些選項並不完整或無交集，事實上它們是彼此互補的，而你也絕對可以想到其它的選項。重點是，我想要讓你知道不管你的決定是什麼，我希望你聽從自己的心聲去做抉擇，這樣你才會過的快樂。說了這麼多，我想你一定會想我很聰明，有智慧，一定從來沒錯過。事實剛好相反。我曾經做過好多傻事，犯下很嚴重的錯，更有數不盡的後悔多到我身感漸愧。我們均想得到快樂，而我們每一個所作的抉擇，我們均希望是對的，但這是不實際的。事實是我們做了最好的猜測，然後祈求上天的保祐。雖然如此，你仍然要有勇氣硬挺的走下去。犯錯本就是無法避免的，每個人都會犯錯，我們是人不是神。做抉擇本就是在賭博，抉擇到後來也經常是錯的，所以平常心就好。就算我不認同，我不喜歡你的抉擇，我還是會尊重並支持你的決定，不管是你的人生方向、信仰、亦或是命運，這是一位父親最少可為他所愛的孩子所能做到的。當你做出抉擇後、你也一定會感到後悔、覺得沮喪、有所懷疑等許多心靈上的不安。當報應來時，雖然我答應你我會在你身旁，但這仍會是個考驗也不容易。無論何時，只要你需要我，希望我都可以陪伴在你身邊，但若是有天我無法陪伴在你身邊時，不管是什麼理由，我希望你知道我的心是與你同在的，我深信你會做到。而我也了解，選擇你自己的路是所有挑戰中最難的，所以你就慢慢來吧！

最後，我想跟你分享我對「為什麼你會在這世上」這問題的看法? 老實說，你是個驚喜。所有的人造產品，在設計階段就會有清楚的原因和動機，所以它們存在的目的是可講明白的。但人是不同的，即便是試管嬰兒，被滿心期待的新生兒，就算到來的階段是經過精心策劃的也一樣，我們從來不會知道會得到那種嬰兒，除非有一天我們可以用基因工程設計專屬的嬰兒，但我不確定我會歡迎這一天的到來。然而我必須告訴你，你雖然是個沒被期待的驚喜，但你卻填滿了我空虛的生命，你更遠超過我所有的期待，在我眼中你比上帝還要神，你是個奇蹟! 但是，我依舊不知道為什麼你會在這世上，我想有天當你真想知道這問題的解答時，你必須自己去找，當然並不是每個人都想要知道這問題的答案。我也不知道為什麼我會來到這世界上，我也不知道我存在的目的為何，而我比你老多了，也有較多的經驗，所以應該是更有智慧，但我仍不知道。如他人，我有個不錯的工作，有前途的職業，但討生活或單純為活而活仍舊無法告訴我，我是誰？我為何在？我想對大多數的人而言，要回答這題目，我們必須走進世界的萬花筒，在嘗過所有我們討厭的，犯下所有可犯的錯誤，接受所有能接受的挑戰並失敗，輸到所有能輸的戰役後，我們才能找到內心的平安，真正的認識我們自己，了解我們為何而來。我希望這樣粗略的想法不會冒犯到任何人，但這是殘酷的事實。

大部份人活著都是在尋求幸福，其實能過簡單平安的生活就是福氣。但總是有些幸運者，或更確實的說是些不幸的人，擁有追求並建立人生目的的意願和膽識。建立人生的目的與想擁有富裕的人生是不同的。大多數的人都希望在他的人生當中可以擁有昂貴的玩具、成為億萬富翁、有個外型姣好的另一半、有聲望但沒責任、好看的外表、豪華的環遊世界、擁有權力等等。因為有這麼多令人想要的東西，所以很多人會起而行的去追求這些。在這奮鬥的過程中，這世界也因此變得更好或更糟。付出相同的努力，有些較幸運的傢伙就會得到神的恩寵而獲得比他人更多的富裕，有些生下來平平白白就擁有了這些大家想要的東西，但人生本就是不公平的，這你必須要認清。因此「目的」和這些「欲望」是不同的。「欲望」是以自我為中心的，而且大多是根據感覺而來的。欲望不是恐怖的惡魔或錯誤，只是與「目的」不同。「目的」是能為更大我落實更美好生活的一種願景。擁有欲望會造成了壓力、不幸和痛苦，特別是在追求欲望的過程中或確定欲望無法實現時。擁有遠景和夢想只會更糟，而唯一能比這更糟的是當你決定去建立這夢想。有趣的是，歷史從來不乏這些築夢者。只有人類會為了短暫的夢或享受自願去承擔這些壓力和痛苦，這實在很愚蠢但卻是事實。然而，我們積欠這些築夢者太多了，因為他們的遠景、他們的夢想、他們的苦痛、他們的奮鬥和他們的犧牲，我們才有今天這美好的生活。不論這些偉大築夢者的夢想，是大或小、是崇高或是怪異、是善良或是邪惡、是可行或不可能達成的，可實現與否，都實質的改變了人的運命。這些築夢者重寫了我們的歷史，他們為我們解決了問題，但也可能替我們製造更多的問題。是他們的夢驅動我們前進，我們也起而追尋他們的腳步與他們共同築夢。我們從他們的願景中找到自己，我們的生活也因為他們而豐富，這些夢想提升了我們生活的水準，也為我們的生活增添了各式各樣的驚奇。你能想像要是我們的生活缺少了這些築夢者的願景會有多麼的枯燥無味嗎?有些夢想解救了我們的生活、我們的靈魂，並且給予我們希望、自由、喜樂和尊嚴，因此我們必須要感謝這群築夢者。

建造夢想和擁有夢想是全然不同的。建造夢想是需要無比的膽量，應可說是必須愚蠢到從不考慮慘敗的後果才行，尤其當一般獲得最大的利益是別人而非自己。民主國家有個很重要的特質，就是解放並培育了這些築夢者，更鼓勵他們自由的發揮，協助他們築夢。人們的夢想可以很不同，以至於築夢者中的強烈衝突，或與現行者的摩擦爭論均是必然的結果。因此這些築夢者必須面對各式各樣的挑戰、批判、抵抗、壓制和否認，有時甚至必須面對死亡。事實上大多數的築夢者會失敗，然後落默的在痛苦與後悔中過完餘生。極少數的幸運者也僅會得到小小的成就，只有極端少數的傢伙會中大彩。在眾多的研究後，我們今日還是不知道為什麼那些傢伙會中大彩，似乎運氣是最關鍵的因素。簡而言之，差不多所有的築夢者均會活得很艱困。他們變成自己夢想的受騙者及犧牲者。身為一個父親，我祈求你千萬不要擁有這樣的雄心壯志，因為我擔心你會因此而受難，不過要是你長大之後有這樣的雄心壯志，想要成為這其中之一的領導者，那鼓勵及協助你實現你的夢想是我應盡的義務及職責，我知道我的心力不足保護你不受苦，但是我一定會盡我所能的陪伴著你。願上帝給予你勇氣跟智慧。

爸爸曾經演講過一個題目：，這題目詢問在場的X世代，在進入西元2000年後的e世紀裡，他們打算如何面對他們的人生。每個世代都有他們世代的責任和要完成的課題，同樣的，你的世代和你也有屬於你自己的。生命的開展在於敢放膽去夢想、去築夢，假如你敢夢，就要夢的夠雄大、夠瘋狂、也望你能大聲，清楚的吼出來。

願上帝保佑你

永遠愛著你的爸爸