My dear wife died at about 00.30 hrs. on 31st of July 2022, the 1st day of Muharram 1444. May Allah Almighty make her rest in peace and grant her a place in Jannah. Amen!
I had a long and significant association with her of over 59 years in this earthly life. I have now to live without her, I don't know, for how long. I do hope it would be short.
One's spouse is a wonderful and unique associate, one can have, in this life. He/she is the one and only adult person one can be completely free with, without any inhibitions. Initially, maybe, it was sex that was the binding force between me and my wife, but later it was love, pure and simple, for each other that bound us together!
It was, therefore, heart-rending for me to see her suffer in those last 15 minutes of her earthly life when she experienced extreme difficulty in breathing. She had a massive heart attack and collapsed while being taken to hospital. She was normally active throughout the preceding day and had shown no signs of her impending death! It left me and my entire family completely devastated.
But, as it normally happens, one gradually gets over the trauma and learns to live without one's beloved life partner. But old life is difficult, painful, and miserably dependent on others for much of its petty work! Death, therefore, appears to be a welcome relief. Still, one does have a fear of death. For, it is an unexperienced thing - no one there is who has experienced it and come back to life to tell us what that experience is. Also, for a believer, he/she is not certain that he/she has passed the test to gain immunity from punishment in the Hereafter.
My wife has also experienced death now and cannot come back to tell me what that experience was! But, surely, I will also experience it one day soon.
6th August 2022.