Sunday Family Humour 3rd June

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday

Teaching English too long

Thanks to David M.

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

A hanging-indent walks into a bar, stands on the margins, and moves five paces to the right.

A possessive pronoun walks into its bar, and drinks until it's closing time.

Three homophones walk into their bar, and are there until they're kicked out.

The third unreal conditional, past perfect speculated as to how real it could've been, if only it had gone into a bar.

A euphemism walked into a drinking establishment and ordered a refreshing adult beverage.

A free morpheme stood alone in a: bar.

Faulty parallelism walks into a bar, sat down and has ordered a high-ball.

aHHHH...I CAN'T!!! ....said the contraction to the homophone decanting the wine....in a bar.

A subject and a verb walks into a bar, and they gets into total disagreement over which one should pays the bill.

A neologism walks into a bar and calls it a "casual get-drunkery".

After walking into a bar and buying everyone a round of drinks, a dummy subject exclaimed "It's on the house!".

A transitive verb walked into a bar, drank too much and passed out, so the bartender laid him on the pool table.

A syllogism walked up to a bar with four legs, and deduced that all bars are dogs.

Funny Misheard Lyrics

Thanks to Mariam A and Big Geek Daddy

Comedian Peter Kay shares with us some Misheard Lyrics that he’s been singing for years. He’s started to realize how wrong he’s gotten some of the lyrics over the years because of singing karaoke.

Unusual Friends

Thanks to Ginny L.

After spending a lot of time alone in the same room of the owner's house, a crow and a dog grew fond of each other.

The crow is almost always on the dog's back,the dog even barks when people try to touch his pal.The owner built a custom harness for more comfortable rides.

After a devastating forest fire, fire rescuers ran out of crates for the animals saved from the blazes. This fawn and baby bobcat were placed together in the office. Hours later, firemen noticed they'd taken a liking to one another and cuddled for the duration they were kept together.

A duck and house cat were raised together by a family.

Reportedly the duck hates water and hasn't figured out yet that it can fly.

A wild-life park in China adopted two tiger cubs, which were soon adopted by a worker's dog that happened to be in the pen frequently.

The Fernandez family adopted a tiger cub after it had lost its family. It has been raised with the family dog since infancy, and they are inseparable.

Humphrey the hippopotamus was a house pet that became too large and was moved to the Rhino & Lion Nature Reserve in South Africa,where he was safe but lonely. A Cameroon Pygmy Mountain Goat climbed the fence into Humphrey's enclosure and befriended him.

Sobe the iguana and Johann the cat were both rescued by a woman in Brooklyn, NY. Every day when the iguana is let outof her cage, she seeks out Johann for play time, along with a rabbit also kept as a pet.

Koko the gorilla is famous for having learned to communicate by sign-language.

For her birthday one year, she made signs to her teacher that she wanted a kitten.

Koko's teacher wasn't surprised, as Koko's two favorite books were about cats.

They adopted a kitten from an abandoned litter and Koko showed it great care and gentleness.

A lioness abandoned by her pack decided to adopt a baby impala after killing its mother. Several times, she tried to leave the baby in the company of other impalas, but ended up having to take the baby back under her wing after theadult impalas were frightened away by her.

A giraffe and ostrich form an odd friendship at Busch Gardens in Florida.

Owls that hatched at a hawk conservatory were adopted

by the park-keeper and became friends with his pet dog.

After a family took in this stray cat, she grew fond of their elderly dog. Realizing the dog was blind, the cat took on the responsibility of leading the dog to his water, food, shade, and toys. She would follow closely under his chin to guide him.

A stray cat wandered into this Asiatic bear's enclosure at the

Berlin Zoo. It has been coming back frequently for 10 years

to visit its friend.

This unusual pair have been seen together for over a year in Lake Van in Turkey.

They were first spotted by a local fisherman who witnessed them sharing a fish and playing together.

At the Tiger institute in South Carolina, a female chimpanzee

raised white tiger cubs after they were separated from their mother.

A photographer witnessed a wild polar bear coming upon tethered sled dogs in the wilderness of Canada's Hudson Bay.Instead of devouring the dogs, they played and cuddled. The polar bear returned every night that week.

Other examples of strange and improbable animal friendships:

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Discovery InTurkey

Thanks to Ray O'.

This is what was discovered in Turkey in 1963

Pictures That Will Warm Your Heart

Thanks to Spike and Bert

Rat Tricks

Thanks to Spike

A short video showcasing a handful of incredible rat tricks performed by my five talented rats: Suki (Brown Agouti Berkshire Dumbo Rat) Famous (Pink-Eyed Himalayan Top-Eared Rat) Raven (Black Variegated Berkshire Dumbo Rat) Shadow (Black Mismarked Irish Top-Eared Rat) Paris (Russian Blue Berkshire Dumbo Rat) All tricks are taught with positive reinforcement and clicker training.

Badass Cats

Thanks to Mariam A.

Prepare to be amazed by these 19 Cats Who Are Totally Badass. These cats obviously know they have 9 Lives and aren’t afraid to use a few of them to make a stand. Any cat or dog that stands it’s ground against a bear is pretty tough and deserves a badge of courage that hopefully isn’t red for their valiant actions.