Sunday Family Humour 10th January
Sunday Family Humour 10th January
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Tilling The Spud Garden
Thanks to Alex S.
An old man lived alone in Tasmania. He wanted to dig a potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Jesse, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
"Dear Jesse, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to break the ground and plant my potato garden this year; I’m just getting too old to be doing that kind of work. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Dad. "
A few days later he received a letter from his son. "Dear Dad, for heaven’'s sake, don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies. Love Jesse."
At 4 am the next morning, the Federal Police and local police showed up and dug up the entire area, finding nothing. They apologized to the old man and left.
The old man received another letter from his son. "Dear Dad, go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Jesse."
An Italian President from New Jersey
Thanks to Ray O.
What Love Looks Like
Thanks to reveld
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John Cleese Advert
Thanks to David H.
Airports where any landing is "Happy!"
Thanks to David H.
1. Gisborne Airport , New Zealand
This North Island airport is one of the few in the World that has a railway line running through its runway. Both the railway
and the airport are active, so let's hope they are precise about their scheduling.
2. Juancho E.
Yrausquin Airport , Saba Island
Blink and you might miss it. With only 400m in length, this Caribbean island has the shortest commercial air strip on the planet. Obviously, this tiny runway is only suitable for small aircraft.
3. Courchevel
Altiport , France
High in the French Alps is a convenient yet treacherous drop-off point for wealthy skiers at the chi-chi Courchevel slopes. In fact, there are ski runs no far from the 1,762 ft (537 m) mountaintop runway. Frequent fog, snow, ice and low clouds make it even more extreme. You'll want to make sure your small plane or helicopter pilot is well trained.
4. Don Mueang
Airport , Thailand
There aren't many airports in the world that have an 18 hole golf course right amongst the runways.
Fore!
5.
Tenzing-Hillary Airport , Nepal
If you're planning on trekking to Mount Everest , chances are you'll arrive via this small Nepalese airport in Lukla. It has a short runway with a
9,334 feet (2900 meter) drop off the edge. Not for the faint of heart.
6. Agatti
Aerodrome, Lakshadweep , India
This 4000 feet long island runway doesn’t leave much
Margin for error. A few more inches, and passengers are going to be swimming sooner than they bargained for.
7. Barra
International Airport , Scotland
Barra International Airport , on a remote northern island in Scotland, has the only beach runway for scheduled flights in the world. At high tide, some of the runways are underwater.
8. Gibraltar
International Airport
Winston Churchill Avenue , a major thoroughfare, intersects the airport runway in Gibraltar . This is one red light you don’t want to run.
9. Gustaf III
Airport , Saint-Barthélemy
This runway is so tiny, only planes with a maximum of 20 people can land here. That helps keep St. Barts an exclusive upscale Caribbean haven for the rich and famous.
10. Kansai
International Airport , Japan
With land at a premium in Japan they decided to build this major airport on an artificial island offshore in Osaka Bay . If its ocean setting doesn’t give you chills, its also regularly subjected to earthquakes, typhoons and storm surges. Oh, and the island is also sinking. This airport’s construction and constant reinforcement makes it the most expensive civil works project in modern history.
11. Madeira
Airport , Portugal
The previous airport on this Portuguese archipelago was notoriously challenging due to its short runway surrounded by high mountains and the ocean. So, they extended it with an impressive – yet frightening – platform supported by 180 columns off the edge of the land.
12. Narsarsuaq
Airport , Greenland
This runway is short and sweet whether you’re coming or going. It is considered one of the world’s most challenging approaches.
Pilots have to fly up a fjord known for its turbulence and wind gusts.
13.
Savannah-Hilton Head International Airport
A
Pair of grave markers are embedded into Runway 10 at this airport, in remembrance to the Dotson Family who used to own the land. One of the graves dates back to 1857. The law states that next of kin need to authorize the moving of family graves, and when they couldn’t be located,
The airport engineers let them be.
14. Wellington
Airport , New Zealand
This airport in New Zealand ’s capital city has a
Short runway, so only smaller aircraft can land there. It’s known for
Turbulent landings due to the channeling effect of the Cook Strait
Creating gusty winds.
15. Princess
Juliana International Airport , Sint Maarten
This beachside airport on the Dutch side of Saint Martin is right across the street from Maho Beach . It is known for its extremely low-altitude flyover landing approach, and tourists flock here to experience the rush of the planes overhead. Definitely one of the craziest airport runways you got to see to believe.
16. Ice Camp
Barneo , North Pole
This snowy strip not far from the North Pole is open for just 4 weeks per year. Built on a drifting ice base, it’s a fully functional runway suitable for cargo planes like the Antonov AN-74.
Perhaps Santa Claus uses it too.
Victory - Andre Rieu & BOND HD
Thanks to Wally
The morality of dishonesty
Robbers entered a bank in a small town. One of them shouted: "Don't move! The money belongs to the bank. Your lives belong to you”.
Immediately all the people in the bank laid on the floor quietly and without panic.
This is an example of how the correct wording of a sentence can make everyone change their view of the world.
One woman laid on the floor in a provocative manner.
The robber approached her saying, “Ma’am, this is a robbery not a rape. Please behave accordingly."
This is an example of how to behave professionally, and focus on the goal.
While running from the bank the youngest robber, who had a college degree, said to the oldest robber, who had barely finished elementary school: "Hey, maybe we should count how much we stole.”?
The older man replied: "Don’t be stupid. It's a lot of money so let's wait for the news on TV to find out how much money was taken from the bank."
This is an example of how life experience is more important than a degree.
After the robbery, the manager of the bank said to his accountant: "Let's call the cops and tell them how much has been stolen”.
"Wait, said the Accountant, "before we do that, let's add the $800,000 we took for ourselves a few months ago and just say that it was stolen as part of today’s robbery."
This is an example of taking advantage of an opportunity.
The following day it was reported in the news that the bank was robbed of $3 million. The robbers then counted the money, but they found only $1 million so they started to grumble.
"We risked our lives for $1 million, while the bank's management robbed two million dollars without blinking? Maybe it’s better to learn how to work the system, instead of being a simple robber."
This is an example of how knowledge can be more useful than power.
Moral: Give a person a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a person a bank, and he can rob everyone.
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