Sunday Family Humour 20th March
Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday
As I Age, I Realise That:
1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.
2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
4. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini vacation.
7. The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about.
8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!
9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
12. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came for.
Dancing To Irving Berlin in Russia
A BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE!
dancing is filmed on 26th Feb 2012 on Moscow's “overlook” in Sparrow
Hills. Looking down from the “overlook” you see the largest stadium in
Russia (140K capacity). The ski jump is for practice and training - if
you make a mistake, you end up in the river below. The church at the
end opposite to the ski jump is Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Church.
The large building on the opposite side of the road beside the overlook
is the Moscow State University and the top of the tall center tower
has one of the Kremlin stars.Try and not smile as you watch this - you
will. It is a nice, gentle clip. “Putting on the Ritz”, in Moscow, no
less! What a crazy, delightful, ever changing world!
Who could have
thought that in 2012 young people in Moscow would put on a "flash mob"
happening, dancing to an 83 year old American song, written by a
Russian born American Jew. (Irving Berlin)? Sound ON! Enjoy...
Never Too Late To Learn Something New
Thanks to John C.
To receive the weekly link to the
latest Sunday Family Humour,
send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.
No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you.
Thanks to Paula M.
Margate Shell Grotto
deep underground in small English town of Margate, Kent; is a grotto
shrouded in complete mystery. Adorned with 4.6 million shells and 70ft
of winding underground passages leading to a rectangular chamber, this
shell grotto is undoubtedly a remarkable site to behold. Story
has it that in 1835, a laborer was going about his usual field work,
but when he struck the soil with his spade, it sank into the earth. The
farmer realized that he was standing on something hollow, but was unable
to see anything from the surface. Word spread around town, and a local
school teacher volunteered his young son, Joshua, to be lowered into the
hole with a candle. Upon emerging from the mysterious cavern, Joshua
described rooms filled with hundreds of thousands of carefully arranged
Shell Grotto is adorned with symbols mosaiced in millions of shells,
symbols that celebrate life as well as reminders of death.
The Shell Grotto hosts a passage, a rotunda and an altar chamber.
shells in the grotto, include scallops, whelks, mussels, cockles,
limpets and oysters, all of which can be found locally. However, the
flat wrinkle shells must have been brought in from elsewhere.
With so much intricate detail, on a rather large scale, one question still remains, who built this underground cavern?
in mystery, some believe that the grotto once had religious
significance - primarily due to the vaulted ceilings and altar spaces.
Nobody knows how old the grotto is, but some theories about its origin date its
constructions as far back as 3,000 years ago. Another theory holds that
the grotto was created as an aristocrat's folly sometime in the 1700s.
This proposed explanation is validated by the fact that shell grottoes
were actually quite popular in Europe in the 1700s, especially among the
wealthy. The only catch to this theory, though, is that the grotto's
location was on farmland - a land that had never been part of a large
estate where follies would have been satisfied. Others believe that it
may have been used as an astrological calendar in the past. There are those also, who say that the grotto must somehow be connected with the Freemasons or the Knights Templar.
Others believe that the grotto may date as far back as 12,000 years ago, maintaining that it is connected to a mysterious Mexican culture.
mystery has left people completely stumped, so much so that in the
1930s, some had held séances, in the hopes of contacting the spirits of
whoever built the grotto. Right
now, it seems, we will not discover the truth behind this mysterious
shell grotto. The age of the shells could be determined through carbon
dating according to the Shell Grotto's web site, but it's a pricey
process and other conservation issues are currently being prioritized.
One thing is clear though, the arrangement of the shells must have taken countless hours of painstaking work.
many of the shells in the grotto have faded over time, losing their
luster through water damage. In its early days, it would have been full
of dazzling color. This recreation shows what they might have looked
like at the time, and with over 4.6 million shells, it surely must have looked astonishing!
Since its discovery, the Margate Shell Grotto has
been opened to the public, first by Joshua's father, the school
teacher. In 1835 he quickly bought up the land and began renovating the
grotto to make it suitable for visitors. Two years later, in 1837, the
grotto had been opened to the public for the first time, and still
enjoys visitors today.
Dogs vs Stairs
Calling the Police When You Are Old
George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was
going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in
the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George
opened the back door to go turn off the light, but
saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.”
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You
should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is
George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about
them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating
them right now," and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a
Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at
the Phillips' residence,and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Don't mess with old people
This week's intro picture
Taking your socks off with a missile launcher
Your help is gratefully appreciated
Donate UK Pounds
Donate US dollars
Did you Enjoy This Page?
Give us a +1!
Every $1 helps - thank you
See here for more donation options
(You can donate with any credit card - no Paypal account needed)