Sunday Family Humour 20th March

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday

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As I Age, I Realise That:

1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.  
2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
4. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."  
6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini vacation.  
7. The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about.
8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!  
9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.  
10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees. 
11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".  
 12. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came for.

Dancing To Irving Berlin in Russia

A BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE!

 The  dancing is filmed on 26th Feb 2012 on Moscow's “overlook” in  Sparrow  Hills. Looking down from the “overlook” you see the largest  stadium in Russia (140K capacity).  The ski jump is for  practice and training - if you make a mistake, you end up in the  river below.  The church at the end opposite to the ski  jump is Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Church.  The large  building on the opposite side of the road beside the overlook is  the Moscow State University and the top of the tall center tower  has one of the Kremlin stars.Try and not smile as you watch this  - you will. It is a nice, gentle clip.  “Putting on the  Ritz”, in Moscow, no less!  What a crazy, delightful, ever  changing world! 

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Who could have thought that in 2012 young  people in Moscow would put on a "flash mob" happening, dancing  to an 83 year old American song, written by a Russian born  American Jew.    (Irving Berlin)?  Sound  ON!  Enjoy...

Dancing To Irving Berlin in Russia




















Never Too Late To Learn Something New

Thanks to John C.

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Mail Boxes

Thanks to Paula M.

Mail Boxes


Margate Shell Grotto

Thanks to Carol P.

Buried deep underground in small English town of Margate, Kent; is a grotto shrouded in complete mystery. Adorned with 4.6 million shells and 70ft of winding underground passages leading to a rectangular chamber, this shell grotto is undoubtedly a remarkable site to behold. Story has it that in 1835, a laborer was going about his usual field work, but when he struck the soil with his spade, it sank into the earth. The farmer realized that he was standing on something hollow, but was unable to see anything from the surface. Word spread around town, and a local school teacher volunteered his young son, Joshua, to be lowered into the hole with a candle. Upon emerging from the mysterious cavern, Joshua described rooms filled with hundreds of thousands of carefully arranged shells.  
 
Underground Grotto

The Shell Grotto is adorned with symbols mosaiced in millions of shells, symbols that celebrate life as well as reminders of death. 
Underground Grotto

The Shell Grotto hosts a passage, a rotunda and an altar chamber. 
Underground Grotto

The shells in the grotto, include scallops, whelks, mussels, cockles, limpets and oysters, all of which can be found locally. However, the flat wrinkle shells must have been brought in from elsewhere.  
Underground Grotto

 
Underground Grotto

With so much intricate detail, on a rather large scale, one question still remains, who built this underground cavern? 
Underground Grotto

Shrouded in mystery, some believe that the grotto once had religious significance - primarily due to the vaulted ceilings and altar spaces.  
Underground Grotto

Nobody knows how old the grotto is, but some theories about its origin date   its constructions as far back as 3,000 years ago. Another theory holds that the grotto was created as an aristocrat's folly sometime in the 1700s. This proposed explanation is validated by the fact that shell grottoes were actually quite popular in Europe in the 1700s, especially among the wealthy. The only catch to this theory, though, is that the grotto's location was on farmland - a land that had never been part of a large estate where follies would have been satisfied. Others believe that it may have been used as an astrological calendar in the past. There are those also, who say that the grotto must somehow be connected with the Freemasons or the Knights Templar. 
Others believe that the grotto may date as far back as 12,000 years ago, maintaining that it is connected to a mysterious Mexican culture.  
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Its mystery has left people completely stumped, so much so that in the 1930s, some had held séances, in the hopes of contacting the spirits of whoever built the grotto. Right now, it seems, we will not discover the truth behind this mysterious shell grotto. The age of the shells could be determined through carbon dating according to the Shell Grotto's web site, but it's a pricey process and other conservation issues are currently being prioritized.                
One thing is clear though, the arrangement of the shells must have taken countless hours of painstaking work.  
Underground Grotto

Unfortunately, many of the shells in the grotto have faded over time, losing their luster through water damage. In its early days, it would have been full of dazzling color. This recreation shows what they might have looked like at the time, and with over 4.6 million shells, it surely must have looked astonishing! 
Underground Grotto

Since its discovery, the Margate Shell Grotto has been opened to the public, first by Joshua's father, the school teacher. In 1835 he quickly bought up the land and began renovating the grotto to make it suitable for visitors. Two years later, in 1837, the grotto had been opened to the public for the first time, and still enjoys visitors today.
 

Dogs vs Stairs

Thanks to Paula M.

Dogs vs Stairs

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Calling the Police When You Are Old

  George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
  He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
  He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.”
  Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available".
  George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
  Then he phoned the police again.
  "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.
  Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence,and caught the burglars red-handed.
 
  One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
  George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
  (True Story)
  Don't mess with old people 

This week's intro picture
Taking your socks off with a missile launcher
It's worth the wait - Shooting socks off with rocket launcher


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