How I Roll

Since arriving in Oklahoma I've been catching a lot of flak about me. By that I mean my own "Life Philosophy". It's pretty simple, I believe that a person should be able to say, think, or do what ever they want as long as it doesn't interfere with anyone else saying, thinking or doing what they want. 

There are so many things that I'm not into or do like but that doesn't mean that I want to stop others from doing it. For instance, I don't like staying up late. So I go to bed rather early. Thus, if others want to hang out with me, they better do it before my bed time. It doesn't mean that I want others to do like me. It doesn't mean that I want to be like them. It means that this is just one of many things (staying up late) that we won't be doing together. 

I also don't like cigarette smoke, okra, or heavy metal music. Far be it from me to say that others shouldn't either. I won't pretend that I like a given thing or activity but I'm not going to throw shade on those who do. What I'm going to do is say that I won't be down when people are engaging in those things. I find it to be liberating. I'm allowing people to be exactly who they are without any consideration of my feelings or thoughts (as long as they aren't doing those things around me). Some say that's selfish and narcissistic. How could you not care about feelings of other people? How could you allow people to NOT care about your feelings?  I disagree. I think that if people are allowed to be who they really are, they are spending time with me because it's natural and pleasant. No false pretense. No airs. They aren't forced out of false sense of loyalty. I like them as they are and they feel the same about me. 

So if someone has a hundred things that they do and I have a hundred things that I do, but we only have 10 things that we do in common, then that's the space we should operate in. Sure, I'd like to share the other 90 with them but not if it's what they don't want to do with me. I'll take 10 fantastic things over 100 mediocre. 

Now, others would argue that a true friend goes along with a friend and does things that they don't like just to make others happy. I'd disagree. I'd say that you're not being a true friend if you drag others along to things you like and they don't in the name of friendship. I get it, some people like pleasing others. That's their thing. I would never interfere with that. But if it's not one of my things, I shouldn't be expected to do it just because they do. 

It might sound corny in a day like today but I really believe in finding common ground and staying in that space. Too often, we look for those things that pull us apart than what brings us together. I want to unite around things we both do and like. Might be golf. Might be books. Might be basketball. But what ever it is, it's pretty great when we are there. 

So I'll keep giving people all the freedom that they want to be 100% who they are. To my friends (the 4 people who read this blog) keep being exactly who you are as if I weren't there. How much of that 100% I get with you will be dictated by how much we can both wonderfully and enjoyably share. 

Contact me at garyhoover2012 [at] gmail.com with your thoughts.