Shoes and the Autobahn Don't Mix

In the summer of 2017 I ventured back to Europe, as I do most summers. In the photo album section of this website you'll see lots of pictures of that summer.

I had the good fortune to be invited to the forest home of a good colleague and friend, Mathias Schulenburg. That's his farmhouse and stuff in some of the pictures. Just a beautiful piece of property on about 120 acres of land. If you've been to Europe before, you know how rare it is for anyone to own that much undeveloped land.

Since I don't drive in Europe I was invited to ride along with another couple that were also going. I really, really don't like taking the Autobahn in Germany. On certain stretches there is no speed limit. That's just totally nuts to me. You could be going 120 mph and another car goes flying by at 150. Why?

Anyway, the man was driving while his wife sat in the front passenger seat. I was in the back trying not to crap my pants. This guy suggested that since he mostly drove the car in the city, it was good to get on the Autobahn and flat out floor it. The few times I saw the dial we were going in excess of 130 mph. Of course, I had to convert this figure since they measure distance in kilometers there. Didn't matter, we were going way too fast. He had a Porsche Cheyenne and this thing could go.

The wife insisted that the husband slow down. I could not agree with her more despite my quiet whimpering in the back. To show her displeasure with his driving speed the wife took off her shoe and proceeded to hit her husband in the head to get him to slow down. Sure, I wanted to go slower but hitting a man in the head with a shoe while traveling in excess of 120 mph is just outrageous. Do not distract the driver! This seemed to be normal for this couple. The husband kept driving like nothing was going on and his wife kept hitting him in the head with her shoe telling him to slow down.

Me? I think I did poop myself.

I'm sticking with public transportation from now on.