Stand Up Comedy

As most of the six people who read this blog know, I do stand up comedy on occasions. Mostly this occurs at places which have talent shows. I always get booed off and lose to a dude singing Luther. It wasn't until March of 2020 that I actually did a part of my act at an actual comedy club. 

I had been to the Bricktown Comedy Club before. On most Wednesdays they had open mic nights where amateurs could go on stage and try their hand at being funny. When I first went there things were pretty simple, anyone in the audience could go up and try out material until they either finished or got booed off the stage. There were no rules against heckling either. I actually thought and still think that this was the fairest way to go about things. If you're any good, you'll last. If not, you don't deserve to be on stage. However, I guess the club disagreed. Only about 7 or 8 people would be brave enough to go on the stage. However, the results could be brutal. 

I went by just to check things out in the middle of February 2020 as I was ready to go. I'm glad that I did. The format had changed in that now each performer only got 3 minutes to do their entire bit. If they ran over they got the "hook". Not really a hook but a loud horn would go off and keep blasting until the person left. In addition, there was no more heckling, booing or talking allowed. Finally, each performer had to sign up on a list. Once the list was full, that was it for the night. On a good note for the club, the number of people willing to get on stage went up to 20. Rather remarkable given that some people had not practiced and lost their place mid-way through a joke. Some had bits too long and got the hook. Some had seriously awful jokes and should not have gotten on stage. One guy had his jokes on his phone and kept referring to it. Simply terrible. I had to go back home and rework my material to get it under the time constraint. I didn't like it because it didn't allow enough time to work in laughs. I just had to plow through material and not get the hook.

I invited a few friends and colleagues and was set to go on March 3, 2020. The list was supposed to be put out at 6:30pm and stay out until 7:15pm with the show starting at 7:30pm. I was living in downtown OKC at the time and the club was only about 5 blocks from my house. I leave out at 6:30pm to get there at 6:40pm. I'm looking around for the list only to find out that it's already filled. I was convinced that there was a conspiracy. No way 20 people signed up that fast. I text or call all of my friends to tell them not to come and I started walking home. About 7:20pm I get a message from my good friend Michael Kramer and his wife (I've mentioned him in this blog before) that they are at the club and are going to stay to see the show anyway. I'm upset but I walk back over to watch the show with them. The acts were generally terrible. I had heard most of them tell the same old jokes before. In fact, I was able to finish many of the jokes. Now I'm really upset that these people are up there saying the same stale stuff. Not even new jokes. I vow to be ready the next week.

So when March 10th arrives, I'm there at 6pm and I'm waiting. Of course, I'm still wearing the same clothes I had on at work and don't "look" like a comedian. I could care less. I knew I had the chops. Promptly at 6:30pm they put out the list and I'm in line. I got on! But just like the week before, the list fills up in about 3 minutes. So I missed it because people were waiting and not because they put the list out early. I wait for Mike and his wife to come back. As I've mentioned before, Mike is a communications professor and has done serious acting. In fact, I talked in this blog about him in a 2 man play at a local community theater. He did a spectacular job. I didn't realize that he'd be bringing his brother and sister in-law. It didn't really matter. I had informed Mike and his wife that my comedy would be rather vulgar and that I doubted he was up for it. He came anyway. I suspect that he thought that I was bluffing and made the whole thing up. 

Well, we went in and the show started at 7:30pm. I waited and waited for my name to come up. I guess they picked the names in a random order or they put the people they knew up front. I was the 16th person called up. I had asked Mike and his wife to both record my performance on stage. I wanted to share it with you here and to see where I could have done better. The guy right before me was speaking really softly since he was nervous and he didn't pay attention to time and got the hook. People were not paying much attention when I hit the stage. If I say so myself, I'm killing it. I get the biggest laughs and the most applause of the night. Even the other comedians are congratulating me even if I did look like a professor (which I am). The material is X rated. There is no other way to describe it. 

After I finish I walk back over to Mike and his family and none of them can even look up. They are all in shock at how filthy and foul-mouthed I was. They agree that the crowd loved me but I can tell that they are repulsed. To make matters worse, not a one of them recorded a second of my show. I think they all sat their with their mouths open in shock and horror. Now, I'm bummed too. Not that they didn't like my performance but that they didn't record it. I knew my material wouldn't sit well with them. That's why I warned them and said that they shouldn't come. 

As we are all walking out the club people ask me to hang around and then invite me to come back. They ask me where I perform and whether I do this professionally. So, if I get a chance, I'm definitely going back. If not in OKC, then where ever I live next. I'll try to get someone to record my stuff.