Week 2

Really pissed how this week went for my team, Ohio State, and the Big Ten. Michigan and Ohio State have completely abandoned every other player on their teams except the quarterback. The Big Ten is so bad I can see a lot of 17-10 games once the league play starts. I can also see a lot of ups and downs for every team in the League this year.

1. Schumann - Denard will destroy every defense he plays the rest of the season now that the Alabama game is over. When Belton comes back this will be the team to beat.

2. Knipp - Another solid performance. Ball cannot be held in the check the whole season, it's a matter of time until he breaks out.

3. Luke - Colter needs to get his shit together and Bell will have lots more yards the rest of the season.

4. Farber - With the same production he's been getting and a healthy Burkhead, it could be a real good season.

5. Heydinger - Very solid team right now but needs another receiver to emerge, which should be Kofi Hughes.

6. Seth - Miller is gonna have a lot of points this year. White and Martin-Manley can't continue to be this bad.

7. Jake - I woke up Saturday morning with three starting running backs and woke up Sunday morning with one that averages 0.9 yards per carry and my best player out for the season. I think I lost all hope for the season yesterday.

8. Haines - Too many zeros put on the board this week and there are no studs on the team at all.

Blast from the Past: Me, Mel-Kipering our future candidates.

My grades for our draft. Note, overall grades were randomly assigned. Who grades a fantasy player?

Steve Haines

Strengths: He’s a steak guy and would probably offer an interesting perspective on the league.

Weaknesses: May complain too much to the commissioner about league rules.

Intangibles: Looks like the basketball player from Northern Iowa.

Overall Grade: B-

Chayse Held

Strengths: I have a feeling he would be the best fantasy player of the group.

Weaknesses: Attended BG, correct? May be dead in a couple years from multiple STD’s.

Intangibles: Did a hell of a job at catching Chad Billingsley in high school, and he’s a sports reporter.

Overall Grade: A-

Josh Adams

Strengths: Emails. No one makes fun of people better than Adams. Except maybe Knipp.

Weaknesses: Any disagreements with the Power Rankings may end up with me getting made fun of.

Intangibles: Has shown he is comfortable with deviating from his “non-steak guy” persona.

Overall Grade: C+

Tony Black (Is this Zeebees? If so:)

Strengths: Nickname

Weaknesses: I don’t know him that well.

Intangibles: Was a featured lead singer in the movie: “The Lion King.”

Overall Grade: A

James Ehret

Strengths: Went to Case Western, probably the best school in the state. Sorry fellow Polar Bears, but it’s true.

Weaknesses: He’s from Canton…..OHHHH, Burn, Farber.

Intangibles: I think he won the NIT tournament one year. I would have to check my other computer.

Overall Grade: D

Sam Heydinger

Strengths: Whats the only thing better than one Heydinger? Two……right?

Weaknesses: On further review, Whats the only thing better than one Heydinger? Zero Heydingers.

Intangibles: Witty emails.

Overall Grade: B-

John Hofmeister

Strengths: Again, someone who would provide great humor.

Weaknesses: May tell multiple offensive jokes about dead babies.

Intangibles: Will call KFC at the drop of the hat, for any reason.

Overall Grade: B

John Meinerding

Strengths: Hates Michigan, Terrelle Pryor, Liberals, and Penn St’s redheaded coach.

Weaknesses: Drinks a lot of beer on Saturdays and may have a skewed opinion of what players are good.

Intangibles: Has an awesome croquet field in his back yard.

Overall Grade: B+

Matt Schweitzer

Me: Do you want to be in our fantasy league?

Matt: No thanks.

Overall Grade: F-