Week 10 - Special Edition

Ok, after several weeks of self-reflection, finding inspiration, and not giving a damn about the power rankings, we are back and better than ever. Special Edition week with this year's theme as "TV and Movie Props." Seems odd, but these are getting really hard to come up with. I have a feeling there will be recycling of the themes in the coming years.

1. Seth (Ernie McCracken's Bowling Ball, Kingpin) - The bowling ball is the top dog. It represents winning and that's where Seth is right now. It was a down week this week, but has been solid every other week this season. Should you pull out the victory, you'll "finally have enough money to buy your way out of anything."

2. Knipp (Zoltar Machine, Big) - Knipp's prospects this season were nil. Like the kid in Big he wasn't even big enough to ride the carnival rides. He had way too many draft picks in the late rounds. For this team to be where he is, he had to have made some kind of wish or a deal with the devil. But he did a hell of a job drafting and has managed some timely trades as well, unlike the next guy on the list.

3. Luke (Death Star [but run by ISIS], Star Wars) - Everyone agrees Bones is the evil empire this year. The Death Star was built to be able to destroy any thing in existence so the Empire could take over the universe. It was indestructible except for a hole you could fly into and blow up the entire structure with one shot (a flaw well spoofed by Family Guy). Bones had enough draft picks in his arsenal to be able to dominate the league. However he wanted the 35 pt/game QB in Barrett instead of a 25 pt/game he could have gotten in a later round. This proved to be the biggest flaw, along with a lot of injuries and guys that didn't live up to the hype. But with Mitch Leidner as his only QB this week, he still pulled out 150 points. Look out the rest of the season.

4. Jake (Merv Griffin Set, Seinfeld) - I get this for multiple reasons. The first being this is one of my favorite episodes. Besides that, I hoping for a comeback story. Kramer found this set in a dumpster, cleaned it up, put it in his apartment and even had guests on his "show" (Jack Hanna). After a lot of early season injuries, I'm hoping to clean up the pieces and put together a decent team and hopefully win a couple of weeks before its over. 

5. Farber (Andy Dufresne's Hammer, The Shawshank Redemption) - Oh Andy got a lot of miles out of that little rock hammer (special shout out to Red). Farber's two wins this year are nothing short of miraculous as well. There's really no players to get excited about but they somehow managed to put together a couple of great weeks. Enjoy your wins in Zihuatanejo. 

6. Haines (Wood Chipper, Fargo) - The wood chipper basically represents death in the movie. That's pretty much what this team has been from the start of the season, death. No one has stepped up to exceed expections and this is pretty much the worst receiving corp we've ever seen in this league. That's Tommy Armstrong's leg in the chipper down there.

7. Heydinger (Michael's Calling Cards, The Office) - Calling cards were once a promising venture. As Ryan pointed out though, "who uses calling cards?" This team was promising at one time too. Madre London, Akeel Lynch, Leonte Carroo and Curtis Samuel were all productive starters at one point. But like calling cards, I'm not sure any of these players exist any more. Too bad Heydinger is a bottom-of-the-pyramid investor. 

8. Schumann (Sex Panther Cologne, Anchorman) - This was guaranteed to work on woman. 60% of the time, it works every time. And how could you go wrong with Elliot and Clement as picks 1 and 2 in the draft. That is a guaranteed 60 points every week. Whoops, Ohio State's offense isn't scoring like it should and Clement hasn't been healthy all year; except for the week after he was traded of course. So instead of solid production from the running game this team has smelled like "straight gasoline" and "Big Foot's dick." It stings the nostrils.