Graham Simmons

12 Dec 2023

Please wait until I die before using the following as an obituary

My application to join the human race is still under consideration. Sadly, after leaving ABHS, I got talked into studying economics at Monash University, which at least had a decent pub next door. After an undistinguished career start in the Bureau of Agricultural Economics and as President of the Canberra chapter of the Gentlemen’s Alcohol Appreciation Society, my subsequent career path could best be described as crazy paving.

Taking to the road in 1973, I returned to Australia a year later only to find Australia’s drugs not quite up  to the standard of those of Nepal and Afghanistan – except for the excellent magic mushrooms of Araluen NSW. On one occasion, a large dose of  “Blue Meanie” mushies led to a lightbulb moment that just about blew every fuse in the house.

Since then, I’ve done a varied palette of different jobs -  but nowhere near as many as the illustrious Greg Baxter. Have worked as travel writer/photographer, taxi operator/driver, landscaper, stonemason; public servant, contract administrator, importer/shopkeeper and cuckoo clock repairer - in short, a very brief attention span.

Right now I’m in the doldrums of driver’s licence suspension, mainly for running red lights (I offered to run a few green ones to make up, but they wouldn’t accept that). When I get my licence back I’ll probably go back to taxi driving – maybe buy an EV taxi. Other than that, enjoying gardening, trying to stay healthy with exercise and meditation, and trying to one day break a quintuple bogey on the golf course. And, of course, enjoying a fine pinot noir with ice on a hot summer’s day.

I still have fond memories of ABHS, and of my old mates Jerry Cahill and Chris Rath. Among the teachers who stand out were Mr Goldstein (on TV a couple of years ago there was one Mercurius Goldstein from Sydney Uni – a spitting image of our Goldie, who must have been his father) and big Mr Arthur Ferguson.

Depending on your viewpoint, I’ve been unlucky in love. Have been trying to convince a long-time friend to hook up with me. I’m still trying to convince her after about 25 years – and if she ever accepts, that might just show that she’s stupider than I thought. 

Hoping to catch up with you guys some time soon,

Kind regards,

Simmo the Scabby Cabbie 

0411557819