Bill Whitting

INTRODUCTION - BEHIND THE MASK

Life offers an abundance of opportunities for all to experience real joy and happiness. But unfortunately many people miss most of the opportunities. In fact many people miss all of them, and only a very few are blessed with the ability to find contentment and inner peace when it comes to life’s challenges, and all the world has to offer.

This book is about encouraging each individual to spend more time in the world of self-awareness and personal growth. Then taking healthy steps forward rather than living with short sightedness in a world consumed with superficiality, immaturity and material possessions. These external ‘fillers’ take us away from the authentic self and mask the dysfunctions in our life - as painful as they may be.

Through life, my journey has taken me on a path less travelled than most individuals. This was due to being single and having the time to delve into the depths of personal recovery. Formal qualifications in psychotherapy and counselling gained 24 years ago along with life experience are brought to this book. These challenges are combined with an unlikely alliance gained prior, with over 30 years working and growing through the macho building/construction industry. The satisfaction, experiences and struggles of running a construction business finally forced me to my knees, suffering clinical depression. It was my decision to seek out therapy, reading and personal growth courses to bring equilibrium back into my life.

Then the healing journey began to reclaim my authentic self. I wanted to leave the external superficial world behind. This book is written in layman’s terms, away from the jargon of intellectuals, the enlightenment of spiritual gurus or the pseudo journey of many counsellor / therapists / psychologists who have not dealt with their own dysfunctions.

This will hopefully give a wider audience, solutions to the crazy world we all live in. I speak from life’s experience, not just the theory of learning. I bring older insights for modern leaders including my well-known ‘wake-up call’ approach, to challenge the emotional or mental resistance we all carry to protect ourselves. This is to break down the barriers of misapprehension and this may disturb some readers.

Not surprisingly with my ‘big-picture’ perspective of life, the territories that I cover in this book are vast. But recovery is one day at a time – one page at a time. Society currently has less responsibility for personal growth as the level of individual maturity and wisdom is lessening over time. With personal responsibility comes emotional and spiritual growth leading to maturity. Finding peace and contentment in the world we live in has never been harder than it is right now.

The topics in this book cover the physical, the mental, the intellectual and the spiritual aspects of who we are and what makes us tick as humans. Highlighted is the sector of humanity losing the emotional and spiritual aspects of self, over the need for physical and intellectual successes.

Over recent years, parts of humanity have become too intellectualised in search for answers in the quest for progress in life. The big questions – specifically, “What is the Real Meaning of Life?’ are overlooked. The desire for material possession, technological toys and information, to fill the void to escape the loneliness within each of us, has become addictive. Another area of discussion is the question of the ‘baggage’ we pick up in the families we are born into, and the learning from other influencers in our formative years. To clear whatever dysfunctions we might unconsciously be playing out in our lives so they are not passed onto future generations.

The future generations will have to dig even deeper to get out of the quagmire of shame, insecurity, stress, chaos, loneliness and anger that so many individuals are struggling with in their lives today. Also shine a light on the current state of men and women in the second decade of the 21st Century. By subjecting these to scrutiny to deconstruct the societal structures rendering it difficult for most people to access the awareness that I mentioned above. These latter needs consuming current society and robbing humanity of the richness and contentment all of us are seeking throughout our lives.

We all need to reconnect with our origins, nature, including the environment - if society is to counteract the growing elements of shame, anger, envy, depression, violence and suicide rates that are overwhelming us all in varying degrees. As a retired clinician there is also a responsibility to give sound advice as there is much superficial sanction and band-aid solutions given as remedies. People require and are entitled to know the truth from a deeper perspective.

This is far from being a disturbing book, as I am about empowering you with strategies you can use to shape your own solutions, to the legacy you were bestowed and the life you have lived so far. In the chapters that follow you will find examples and questions to ponder and answer for yourself. As well as case studies of people (names changed for confidentiality) I’ve worked with who have managed to discover their authentic self away from a life that was not their own.

Ultimately, I invite you to take a sense of optimism and inner strength from reading this book. To reinstate my opening statement - life offers an abundance of opportunities – and it is up to each individual to seek a path that is enriching and empowering, in discovering the depth of inner strength, resilience and truth discovered within the authentic self. I believe it is incumbent for each individual to seek a path of individual personal growth, leading to maturity and wisdom - not just ageing and letting the years flash by, in the time we have left on this earth. (One thing that I want to note, throughout the book I use the word ‘Other’ (in italics) to include any person, authority, department, religion, avenue or situation that takes away our personal responsibility to take charge and be accountable for our own lives in a mature and independent way.)

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