Just say IT (Sex): healing the Taboos of Sex
By: Araceli Madalena
By: Araceli Madalena
Fig. 1 ‘Guachichil Tribal Seal and Symbolism’ Gualiname Guachichil, 2000,https://guachichilgualiname.wordpress.com/our-seal/
Fig.2 'Feast Day' Madalena, Araceli. November 12, 2023.
Fig. 3 ‘Jemez Tribal Seal’ The Walatowan, 6 June, 2021 https://www.jemezpueblo.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/2021-June-1.pdf
As an Indigenous, 2nd generation immigrant, female, two-spirit, and a neurodivergent individual I learned that I fell into an intersectionality. When I first began educating myself none of it felt right to me. I was exposed to so much incorrect narrative that made it hard for me to unlearn and disassociate words from certain subjects. Along with my race and cultural background the education system is already built around teaching only one perspective. My parents grew up in a catholic culture which is known to be conservative and have a culture of modesty with strict rules. Both of their parents never had a sit down conversation about sex or the “birds and the bees” with my parents. My abuela didn’t ever talk to my mother about periods. It was not until either went to college that they received a form of education on sex. Hence, when they had two children, they made it a point to eventually give us a sit down conversation. My sister and I read books about female development and “how to” take care of ourselves but we took notice that our friends didn't have the same knowledge as we did.
Another point of personal connection that really led me to doing this project was how sex was supposedly talked about in school and perceived as penetrative between a man and a woman. I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community and I remember thinking at the end of the health lesson that day “That’s it?” It was an uncomfortable experience to hear how excluded not just me but a whole community that are different sexualities and genders. I took it upon myself to learn about what sex truly meant and learn about my health. It is also a marginalizing topic to only discuss about LGBTQ+ people when talking about STI’s and STD’s.
A Lack of education and health access to all people. In my communities, the church and western culture has a great influence. The church controls what the people should believe in and forces my people to adopt a belief system that goes against our traditions. The education system made it so that it was a socialized belief that you can only say sex in a certain context. When people can't even express or talk about sex or sexuality it nulls the entire subject.
‘And then I went to school,’ talks about the drastic change that the children of cochiti went through when they had to attend catholic school. The transition from one belief system to another hit the children hard and especially when they had to learn a new language. Children went from helping around at home to being in an uncomfortable classroom where they learned that their lifestyle wasn't satisfying or fulfilling.
Impact and non alignment of the white man's ways in the Okanagan territory. The author talks about the language and the deep meanings of simple words that English speakers take for granted.
The article describes the frustration of settlers and western history creating dispossession of ancestral domains by naming geographical features to something else. The renaming takes away the significance of the mountain, river, or hill.
The first conversation ran for a duration of 24 minutes. The interviewee is my mother, Lorena Olmos de Sandoval. My mother has birthed two children and has always been transparent with me my entire life about sex and has used proper vocabulary. Mother made a good point by bringing up consent. She said there is a great difference and bit that gets left out when the conversation of sex is occurring, the difference between consensual and non consensual sex.
The second interview ran for under 10 minutes, we were under a bit of a time crunch with the bell. The second interviewee is Philip Fragua. Much of the conversation and answers were repetitive. I think Philip got all serious and tense once we started. The most interesting answer I received was from an unscripted question. He said that he feels uncomfortable to ask a cultural leader about sex.
This article is the introduction to the amalgamation of studies turned into a curriculum to understand the sexual exploitation of indigenous girls. the aim of the curriculum is to prevent young girls from going down a path that may lead them into sexual exploitation.
The conversation lasted a little over an hour. It was supposed to be a study hall but it turned into an SHP yap session. We went through my slides and discussed each one. The one we took the most time on was the first slide because he wasn’t familiar with how tribes worked in Mexico. Since Avery is a human development teacher, he had a lot to say about how underequipped health classes are to talk about all forms of sex. Avery had a lot of quality insight about why people view sex as a taboo. One of our main points was that it was an introduced construct with colonialism. He also talked about how excluded the LGBTQ+ community was and didn’t have a role in the community. The last bit of the conversation was on a whiteboard where we spiderwebbed out our theories and ideas. An idea that stuck with me the most was how in the spring time we don’t hunt because we respect the animals reproducing. But why are pregnant women murdered or victims of domestic violence?
This conversation lasted an hour as well but it was pretty informal but we still discussed topics around the subject of sex. We brainstormed some ideas for an action plan, and who I would invite. The first thing that we explored was how do we have the conversation. The idea of ‘Contextual heterosexual’ was a great concept that we explored. What it means is how the gender and sexuality of sex is already assumed based on societal norms. The phrase really stuck with me because it encapsulates that idea of whose sex is acceptable. Victoria and I talked, using science as a base, to discuss gender and sexuality as it appears in nature. She has a background in biology so it makes sense and we also used science to debunk the idea that gender identity is a socialized construct.
Based on the sexual trauma and rights violations that have happened in the life times of gen z, #metoo and the over turning of Roe v. Wade made the consequences and violences very real and created anxiety. Simultaneously while being aware of other sexualities and not being sex negative.
(McBain, “Gen Z Is Afraid of Sex — and for Good Reason”)
From the previous generation setting up a system of high accessibility to porn, gen z’s perception of sex is different in a negative way. While gen z is in the information era the only thing they can't seem to understand or get enough information on is sex and being able to navigate themselves through the concepts. Many studies are more focused on older people and men. Leaving LGBTQ, women, and young people behind.
(“What Now? With Trevor Noah”)
The conversation was 16 minutes long. We discussed the biological side of sex and general reproduction. Martinez is a freshman biology teacher and she says the culture changes all the time around sex and sexuality. Depending on the time and what was going on with the government. Attitudes towards the topic were changing every year. There were some students that were more mature than others when it came to the topic. Of course in biology you can think of reproduction in a scientific way then there's a social way.
The conversation was 16 minutes long. We talked in her classroom about her teaching career and her history in education. The idea was to discuss how education impacts the way students think about things. Penny is a member of the LGBTQ community and was happy to discuss the intersectionality of my topic. Although it was not included in my original thesis I am aware that people on the spectrum experience sex very differently than neurotypical counterparts. We discussed how when sex is talked about from a cis neurotypical perspective which excludes her students and community. Penny also acknowledges the cultural aspect of teaching sex and how “disabled” children are viewed.
The first community I looked to was the latino community. Latin America has been experiencing a phenomenon that has been dubbed femicide. The article I read was from the Comision Economica para America Latina y el Caribe (CEPAL) where they gathered information on femicide cases each year. Among the data collected by 12 countries in 2024 that were willing to share numbers, over 19,000 women were murdered that year. Most of their data concluded that the majority of cases were women and girls ages 15-44. Interestingly enough, in many latino cultural practices a girl becomes a woman at the age of 15. In the rest of North America, Indigenous women and girls are targets of violence. It's referred to as the MMIP crisis . I see the normalization of the violence on women in my community. Many men often get away with domestic violence and sexual assault. However in Latin America the rates are so high that it makes it incredibly difficult to address directly. There also isn't any way to enforce a system that specifically prevents men from becoming abusers. What separates these cases from regular homicides by men on women is that the majority of the murders were by the woman's partner. Out of this overwhelming majority of cases the perpetrators were the victims partner at the time of death or they were their ex. With this knowledge we could infer that the man had a feeling of control and privilege over these women.
In Australia a series of interviews were conducted in 2020 to better understand the inclusion/exclusion of aboriginal youth. The interviews were compiled into a study that serves as a marker to analyze the social, cultural, emotional wellbeing. In past research and as the conductors of this research were compiling resources they realized that in all of the years that studies were surveying the youth in Australia, they never had a sample group of LGBTQ aboriginal youth. For further referencing and to obtain some knowledge on what to expect from tribal youth, the conductors of the study looked towards Canada and the US for their perspective on two-spirit individuals. Although their references were countries across the world their indigenous youth face parallel issues. LGBTQ aboriginal youth in the foster care system report feeling very disconnected from their cultures and traditions and have led to their poor well being. The cultural disconnect made the youth feel different and isolated from their foster families who were mostly non aboriginal Australians. Meanwhile when children remained in their communities they experienced a lot of homophobia and transphobia expressed towards them. In order to keep their health intact many LGBTQ youth eventually move into more urban areas. The youth said that they found more accepting spaces in cities but would experience racism in said spaces.
People with intellectual disabilities experience school and life very differently. Sensations and the world are perceived uniquely. Hence, sex and sexual education are going to be different for these individuals. Neuroscientists from the University of Indonesia Sarawak worked with special education teachers to compile data on how to educate students with intellectual disabilities about sex. Exposure and language is very important to how and what the students will repeat. The study also emphasizes that neurodivergent and mentally disabled people are more likely to do high risk behavior compared to their counterparts. In addition to high pregnancy rates among neurodivergent youth, there are high rates of sexual abuse on dissabled children. However, it was also mentioned in the study that the children are less likely to report or disclose to adults because they lack the vocabulary and/or mental capacity. This study and curriculum is a major triumph for the disabled community in academia to obtain the complete resources they need to thrive. I believe that special education departments across the world could implement an educational program for students with special needs.
November 13, 2025 was when I hosted my action plan. I wanted to show students the history of the region we reside in and where the taboo of sex originated. There was an assortment of healthy snacks to entice the students' presence. We began with an opening question to help get an idea of the students' knowledge about sex. Along the way with learning about the taboo I would have the students say the word sex to relieve their stigma a little bit. Eventually at the end of the event all of the students felt confident in being able to say the word sex. I challenged them to keep practicing saying the word sex and question their feelings about the word itself.
For my second action plan on February 9, 2026 I gathered a group of students for a discussion with intentions to start a conversation. We had food and all sat in a circle. Anyone was open to posing questions, answering questions, leaving whenever they felt and whether they wanted to engage in dialogue or not. All was based on consent and comfort levels. We began with self affirmations and intentions for the circle and gave each other room to exist in the same experience as everyone. I felt this was an important step for having a deep conversation about a sensitive topic. The impact of our conversation varies per person and I can only speak on my own experience but I believe it was a healing experience.
Healing is a long process and it doesn’t happen overnight by reading wikipedia and watching youtube videos. It took years to dismantle sacred practices and create the mindset many people have now. Hence, it will take a long time for individuals to unpack and re-educate themselves. The first step into any healing is acknowledging the existence of an issue. After that is your own questioning on what is correct information from things you already think you know. Sex is an uncomfortable topic for many people and is a deeply personal topic and everyone has their own personal journey. To un block the rejection of embarrassment and potentially new information one needs to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you hear the word sex, like many of the students in my action plan, question the presence of the discomfort. Ask yourself questions about your own ideas and create your own definition of sex. Define what you want the word to mean to you and begin that relationship with the world. As humans, we reproduce sexually and the subject is unavoidable
Pace the journey to match the emotions and heal along with them. Once the foundation is there for beliefs to form the next step would be to create food for thought. Expand on curiosities that may pop up and treat it with grace. Along the journey there will be others that need their own help. Advocacy is an important part of learning and creating a space for everyone, especially community. For this subject in particular I would like to pose the question of What does the sacredness of gender and sexuality look like traditionally/culturally? All communities are different with their own unique practice so a space needs to be made to know cultural practices. Knowing that a personal relationship with the word sex was built a cultural concept has the room in the minds tool box to add.
When we become teachers we are also learners. We learn from our students and our students learn from us. Which is why there is an importance of dialogue with people with different perspectives and at different knowledge levels. Especially the younger ones, they will be affected the most and they are the future of our communities. In my research I hope that the message was clear enough that the taboo is the result of different historical events. Just as generational trauma is important to interrupt the taboo of sex is just as important to dissolve in our most vital resource; the youth.
While Cara is technically my cousin, I call her my sister. We grew up under the same roof in our grandmothers house in Jemez. I wanted to dedicate my project to her because she has always supported me and taught me what it means to be present in our community. She taught me unconditional love for our people is patient in teaching me our ways and language.
Her Core Value is Giving Back.
“Don’t assume.” - Cara M
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Fig. 1 ‘Guachichil Tribal Seal and Symbolism’ Gualiname Guachichil,
2000, https://guachichilgualiname.wordpress.com/our-seal/
Fig. 2 ‘Madalena.’ Madalena, Araceli. Santa Fe, NM. 2025
Fig. 3 ‘Jemez Tribal Seal’ The Walatowan, 6 June, 2021 https://www.jemezpueblo.org/wp-
content/uploads/2021/06/2021-June-1.pdf
Fig. 4 ‘Sibling cousins’ far right, Armstrong, Keelias, middle right, Madalena, Araceli, middle
left, Madalena, Sofia, far right, Madalena, Cara. Jemez Pueblo, 08/02/2024
Fig. 5 ‘Girls’ Madalena, Sofia. Sandoval, Lorena. Madalena, Araceli. Denver, Colorado. 2023
Fig.6 ‘Celi in the wild,’ Talachy, Aiden, Santa Fe River, 2025
Fig.7 ‘Celi in the Library’ Madalena, Araceli. 02/13/2026 Zimmerman Library, NM.
Fig.8 ‘Mom in the Library’ Madalena, Araceli. 02/13/2026 Zimmerman Library, NM.
Fig. 9 ‘Taboo,’ Madalena, Araceli. 01/12/2026
Fig. 10 ‘not supposed to,’ Madalena, Araceli. 01/12/2026
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Fig.18‘Action Plan Plan’11/13/2025
Fig.19 ‘Intro Questions,’ Atencio, Victoria. 11/13/2025
Fig.18 ‘Presentation,’ Atencio, Victoria. 11/13/2025
Fig. 20 ‘Sign In’ Madalena, Araceli. 11/13/2025
Fig.21 ‘Learners’ Atencio, Victoria. 11/13/2025
Fig. 22 “Action Plans ii” Madalena, Araceli. 02/09/26
Fig. 23 ‘Grandmas porch,’ Madalena, Araceli, Madalena, Cara. Circa 2011
Fig. 24 ‘Pueblo New Years,’ Madalena, Araceli, Madalena, Cara, Madalena, Sofia. 01/06/2026
Fig. 25 ‘Pa’keesh,’ Madalena, Sofia, Madalena, Cara. 08/02/2024