(Written in a large and child like scrawl) Dis Thag. Tellin you bosses about more splorin on de island. Me, Kastor, Rhys, Kio, and Manawa go forth. We go see bout big village on norf side of de island. Be Ogre camp. Big one. Manee more den me fingas and toes. Even more den me frien Gary, him hab 6 fingas on each hand too! We read in book dat dese be black axes. Dey be stealin wimens, Feel sorry for dem iffin dey try an steal Manawa. She be done kilt dem all iffin need be. I would help her. Dem black axes be fightin sum genie and him friens. Dey be called tater tots or some sech (Fuegonauts). Been at war a long time. Den we go to big arse tree wid bones round it. Called “Bone Tree”. Maka sense to me. We grab sum peppas. De natur fella (Rhys) maka sum monkees come an grab sum too. Dey not ver guf and tree pop dem lika zit. Aneeways, tree maka ogre bones talk. Tell us it want shield of mint. (Lament). Him tell us talk to wata gurls by de wata fall. We go. See big whirl pool by wata falls. Jump in cause we brave. Get beat up sum. Pop up in cave unda de wata. See water baby ting dat call hisself glun glub. Him tell us go in. We meet wata ladies. Dey tell us dey gib us mint shield iffin we bring dem head of hydra. So, lika sum kind of servants, we go. We find hydra in big arse pool of fire. Maka gud plan. Thag, Manawa go close, get all dem heads looking at us. Den uddas all knock dey head off, Rhys grab head and turn inta fog an offa we go. Den Kastor balls drop and him start orda dey hydra roun. Hydra do what him say! Him tell hydra “gravel” and hydra kiss gravel. (I know its grovel but thag does not). Heck, him voice so strong, i mebbe even kiss a pebble. We knock head off with gud plannin, grab head an run. Werked gud dis whole plannin ting. Mebbe hab to try it agin. Dat be everytinh cept dis tree betta gib sum gud tings. We dun runned all ova whole island. Me tink mebbe we make friens wid ogres too and kill dem tata tots, dey seem like jack asses.
(Again in a large child like scrawl with many misspeliings and ink marks that are messy) Dis Thag. No gonna tell guild, jes peeples me truss. Me, Castor, Sidri, Kio, Novad and Manawa git shell from wata gurls. Dey also give Kio mark on him arm dat say we be dey friens. We tink dis mean dat we friens wid ogres too. On dat note, anybodee try to sell Manawa, Thag kill. Or die tryin. We go out off cabe. Git tacked by dese fish, shell tings. We kilt dem. Dere was 4. Dey have little arms dat hab poison dat maka you cant move. We take dem, gib to Amabell to maka poison. Castor use dud strategeree, him stay still wholle time so dey be confused. We den taka shell to tree. Tree taka shell and give us 3 baskets to pick from. We pick one. It hab ring on dead elf hand. Ring stoopid. Maka you feel what udda person feel afts you shake hands. Like me say, stoopid. Fuck de tree, no gib good treasure. We go back main isalnd. Me trying larn throw darts cause Kio throw dem well. Darts stoopid. No work gud for Thag. Back to usin me sword. We go tower on main isalnd, or close to it. See bunch, lika whole bunch hob goblins in camps. Dem werkin like good armed. Stop to talk. Dey come out looking for war. Shoot aroows at us. All arrows miss. Arrows stoopid. Hobgoblins stoopid. Dey prolleh cant eben rige liks us smart folks. Fuck de hobgoblins. We go rockport. Buy few potshuns and den we walk to ruins. Ruins now hab buncha guards from empire. Dey eben hab big boss wid prettee armor, dese gards be liike Thag (describes half orcs). Dey say “put weepins down and foll@ us”. We was goin to cept fer Castor and Manawa, dey gonna stay back. Den guards push dem, say “move along” den boss say “Take dem!” Him most stoopid of all cept mebbe guys try to push Manawa an Castor. So we grab weepins back and tack. At fust der were 2 hands and 1 foot on de ground and den 4 more on de walls, We felt lika dat was way too manee. So we kilt dem alll cept de two on de walls that run and de boss. De boss run into buildin and lock door. Try break door down, hurt me shouldar bad (rolled a friggin 1) de boss runned into ruins behind big stone door we can not get opin, Boss stoopid. We kilt all him men jes cause him no lissen. Gonna kilt hi. Too iffin me sed him agin. Fuck de boss. One udda big news, Sneebee dead. Let Novad tell you bout dat cause Sneebee him frien. Manawa no kilt Sneebee. (This report is not filed with the guild but handed to each of you by Thag, he is obviously trying to be discreet but think of the drunk guy who thinks he is whispering when he is really yelling and you get an idea of how discreet he is).