Lost

I love her

But I don't want to tell her

I'm scared of losing another friend,

I don't want to feel this tension or awkwardness ever again.

I don't want to lose another part of me.

I've killed myself , lost myself. 

Who was I in the past?

My thoughts are drained and my emotions are everywhere yet nowhere.

Highly unlikely I find acceptance from her.

If I do, I don't want to hurt her, 

I don't want to lose her. 

This repeated process of changing myself. Who was I?

I remember,

Having this pain, 

this sadness,

this hatred.

I don't want to let her see this, I can't

She'll hate me.

I'll change,

I'll change.

Who am i?

--A.N, 28/1/2021

Theme : Love

Image source: https://www.avivainvestors.com/en-sg/views/aiq-investment-thinking/2022/03/delivering-net-zero/