As an Author

These sleepless nights, these pauses in destiny, and these drifting days—I dedicate them all to you, with all the death they contain within.


Every piece of memory pierces me; moment without your memories pains me. I suffer your suffering, but where are you roaming?


I feel you as though you're thousands of worlds away, on a ship set to sail in an ocean of no return.


This feels like a crime, a grievous sin—this idea that in other worlds you may have been.


For the pure image that we dreamt of together, snow is now like a blemished slime, and the cherry blossom like a fetid fen.


Nothing, from this realm or any realm in the spectrum of life's colorful cosmos, can bring solace to me.


When the day of reckoning finally comes, counting every sleepless hour, you'll come to bear the burden of your mistake, and you'll know how young I died.


In my sleepless nights, in my day's wanderings, I hear your whispers and I hear your steps, as if we have met again.


You've become an abstraction, no more than an idea, devoid of scent and stain, divorced from sanity, shrouded in meat and human skin.


Now to escape this endless delirium, this heart's dolorous wailing, I'll have to believe in my own delusion.


I'll say that you were a character from one of my recent novels, a figment of my imagination, in an alternate world.


And I will tell myself that by giving you your freedom, I, as an author, have killed you



--Hayal Edilémez, @HayalEdil on Instagram, 21/9/2023

Read more of their works: http://hayaledil.medium.com/

Theme : Love, Betrayal, Others -- Loss

Cover image: Selected by writer