Restorative Approaches

At Borestone Primary School, we aim to help all our learners to feel good about themselves so they can participate, learn and flourish.

Many people may believe that children and young people who harm others must be punished for their behaviour. This type of response can be ineffective, dangerous, and make situations worse as a child or young person can be resentful of punishment rather than reflective of their actions. Children and young people require the opportunity to hear about and face up to the harm and distress they have caused others. By learning about the harm some behaviours cause and better ways of dealing with conflict, children learn to prevent further conflict.

Restorative approaches are built on values which separate the person from the behaviour. They promote accountability and seek to repair any harm caused in a situation.

What are restorative approaches?

Restorative approaches are used as part of a planned response to a relationship and/or discipline difficulty. This is a more effective response than traditional punishments. Restorative approaches can change the emotional atmosphere in a school and lead to more positive relationships between pupils and between pupils and staff.

Restorative approaches will include having a ‘restorative conversation’. These conversations may happen during the school day and staff will use restorative language and questions to allow children and young people to understand the impact of their behaviours.

How can parents help?

Parents can help by:

Talking to your child about how their school manages pupils’ behaviour
Understanding that children learn developmentally, including how they behave and how their behavior affects others
Understanding that everyone learns best when they feel good about themselves. Punishments, whether right or wrong, can make children feel bad about themselves. This can hinder their ability to engage in learning, including about their behaviour
Encouraging your child to see things from other people’s points of view
Encouraging your child to be a good friend
Learning more about children’s rights, including their right to human dignity, regardless of their behaviour
Learning more about the impact of shame on children’s readiness to learn

Key questions for restorative conversations

For the person harmed:

1 What happened? (....and then what happened?)

2 What were your thoughts at the time?

3 What have been your thoughts since?

4 How have you/anyone else been affected by this?

5 What’s been the hardest thing for you?

6 What would you like to see happen?

For the person responsible:

1 What happened? (....and then what happened?)

2 What were you thinking at the time?

3 What have your thoughts been since?

4 Who has been affected by this?

5 How have they been affected?

6 What do you think needs to happen now?

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