Virtue: What's Right, What's Wrong in Changing Cultures?

July 25, 2015

One of my high school history teachers once said that our modern culture’s values weren’t superior to the historical cultures we were studying. He proposed that cultural values change emphasis, but don’t really get better or worse. This view intrigued me at the time and it still does. Throughout my life I’ve compared values of different groups of people—diverse groups I’ve experienced myself or read about; cultures both modern and historical. I’ve found that my teacher had a good point. There are cases of groups who’ve been exceptionally good and admirable, and other groups who seem exceptionally wicked, but those groups are exceptions to the norm. They are usually small and short-lived. In general, all cultures that have ever existed on the face of the earth have their admirable values and their failures.

I’ve found this to be true while observing the so-called “culture war” of my lifetime, pitting traditional conservative Christians against the liberal influences driving change in western culture, especially in the USA. On the conservative side I see an admirable devotion to our creator, to family values such as marriage and teaching children, to the church, to living right, resisting temptation, fighting crime, etc. Their failings are legalism, arrogance, hypocrisy, harsh criticism, etc. On the liberal side their strengths are supporting the weak and oppressed, helping people with personal struggles, exploring the unknown, caring for creation, etc. They also have their areas of failure: confused values, arrogance, hypocrisy, harsh criticism, etc. Both sides are right sometimes about some things, but always wrong too, missing the mark of perfection.

Growing up and living as a Christian in this age, the questions and claims of this culture war constantly challenge my beliefs. I refused to take sides and just accept one philosophy as right and the other as wrong. Instead I constantly seek truth and goodness considering the evidence and reasoning offered by both sides along with anything I can find beyond the pros of their arguments. I’ve taken on countless issues with earnest throughout my life: premarital sex, abortion, recreational drug and alcohol use, creationism, homosexuality, transgender, environmentalism, use of military force, disciplining children, euthanasia, etc. With most issues I find that there is a region of balance between extreme opinions that seems most true and good, but the exact point of perfection is elusive.

What About the Bible?

One of my most challenging questions has been, “How much credibility do I give the Bible as I seek truth and goodness?” The Bible is foundational to the Christian faith. At a young age I read it for myself and found it to be an amazing book, loaded with deep truths and challenging me to an extreme standard of goodness. But there were also passages that didn’t make sense to me and some that were seriously troubling. I doubted that the Bible was perfect. I questioned whether it was “God’s Word” as so many believers claimed. I asked myself if it was even credible at all.

So, I considered the evidence. I found that there is no ancient literary work like the Bible. Nothing even comes close. You won’t find anything else with nearly so many ancient copies and fragments. Nothing else comes close to being validated by so many archeological finds. Far more ancient independent writings refer to biblical events than any other ancient book. The book itself defies all expectations. Normally when documents are hand copied, they change. Some changes are accidental and some are deliberate. The scriptures used by Christians and Jews have been passed down for many generations with unbelievable consistency and integrity. No book has been translated into nearly so many languages and so many times. Yet the Bible has stood the test of scrupulous scrutiny and been found astonishingly accurate in its translation. The consistency of its message in spite of the many contributing authors spread out over thousands of years and diverse locations and cultures is truly incredible. This evidence gives overwhelming credibility to scripture, but the final clincher for me was fulfilled prophecy. The historical events foretold in Biblical writings, often hundreds of years prior, cement the case that the book is miraculous. It comes to us through divine intervention.

So, I’m convinced that the creator of the universe had a hand in bringing this amazing book to us. But does that mean it’s perfect? Is every word of the Bible I read from the mouth of God? Did he ensure that it was perfectly written, copied, and translated, or might there be some human errors in it? The circumstances that brought this book to us combined with the bold claims within the scriptures and the way that Jesus used scripture convince me that every word comes from the creator with some purpose. I can’t always understand everything, but it all has meaning. I sympathize with Christians who disagree with me here. There are good reasons to think that although God had a hand in constructing the Bible, people still made it imperfect, but for me the scales of evidence tip in favor of scriptural perfection. Interpretation and application is where human imperfection muddles the message.

Among people who believe the Bible to be God’s perfect word there are huge differences of opinion on how it should be interpreted and applied. For example, many conservative Christians believe that the Genesis story is literal and any scientific theories contrary to that story are wrong. So when geologists interpret fossils as being millions of years old they object, claiming that according to Genesis nothing in the universe can be more than 7000 years old. Even though I believe scripture to be perfect, I don’t hold to a literal interpretation of Genesis. I see it as a figurative message from God teaching us that he’s responsible for creation along with a host of other things about his nature and our relationship with him. He’s not concerned with what we believe regarding scientific details of his creation. I understand why many conservatives cling to a literal belief so I can respect them in spite of our differences.

Taking Genesis literal or figuratively is a difference in interpretation. I generally apply the lessons of the book the same as literalists. Head coverings is an example of difference in application. In 1 Corinthians 11 the apostle Paul admonishes women to cover their heads during worship and men to never grow their hair long. In the 13^th verse Paul makes it clear that he’s telling us to do what’s “proper” here. This isn’t about absolute morality, but cultural propriety which changes. The way I apply this passage is that Christian should generally conform to standards of what’s proper in the culture where they live with a bend toward modesty as long as the norms of the culture don’t violate aspects of God’s law which are absolute. Scripture makes it clear that some of God’s laws are absolute and never change, such as prohibitions against idol worship, murder, stealing, coveting, adultery, etc. Some Christian groups, such as the Amish and Mennonites, apply the prohibitions of 1 Corinthians 11 as new laws so they make women where head coverings and prohibit men from growing their hair long. We both consider 1 Corinthians 11 to be God’s perfect word, but we apply it differently.

Asking Why

Scriptural perfection and moral absolutes play a huge role in my view of modern cultural trends being sinful or virtuous, but I also balance my understanding of scripture with knowledge, reason and scientific understanding. To avoid blind legalism when I apply my interpretation of God’s word to life, I ask the big “why” question. If I think God wants us to live a certain way I always ask “Why, God?” Sometimes there are obvious reasons why, sometimes I can only guess. Usually there are a number of good possibilities, though. If I can’t understand why God would command something, I don’t ignore it. I usually obey what I think God is saying, but I continue to explore, seeking further insight and wisdom just in case I’m mistaken.

Profane Language

Profane language is a good example. Profanity has grown much more widespread and accepted during my life time. Scripture admonishes us in a couple places not to use foul language (Prov 8:12-13; Eph 4:29; 5:4; Col 4:6; 1 Tim 4:12). Some Christians don’t think obscene language is really bad. They dismiss this instruction by saying God can handle anything we say, or the offensive words are simply colorful ways of expression, etc. My reaction is that scripture condemns it, but why does scripture condemn it? Was it simply a matter of cultural propriety? If that’s the case I can go ahead and use language that the people I’m with are comfortable using. If I’m in a vulgar crowd I can join right in, but if I’m with a group that’s offended by vulgar language I need to abstain, kind of like eating meat sacrificed to idols in Paul’s time (1 Cor 8; 9:19-23).

But what if foul language is a moral absolute that our creator doesn’t want us to use ever? Why would God make such a big deal over something so petty? Perhaps cussing has a hurtful affect on others. Perhaps it hurts us when we use it? As I’ve observed my friends who use obscene language and those who don’t, especially young ones who are just beginning to use it, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. Vulgar speech seems to harden people’s hearts. They use it when they are angry and it makes them harsher, turning their hearts against the source of their anger. They use it to condemn and judge and it builds their self-confidence, making them more arrogant in their condemnation of others. They are vulgar when they feel defiant, encouraging them to be more rebellious. They cuss when they want to attack someone verbally, intensifying the sting of their attack. Profane language stimulates pride, disrespect, aggression, even violence.

I don’t know for sure this is why God forbids course speech, but they seem like very good reasons to me. This reasoning, combined with a clear scriptural command, has kept me from cussing and telling crude jokes throughout my life. I even avoid using culturally acceptable substitute words. I don’t condemn and judge people who use foul language, but I strongly encourage people to restrain their vulgarity around children.

What about conscience?

Another thing beyond scripture that I consider is conscience. (Romans 2:14-15) If people instinctively believe something is wrong then it probably is. All over the globe, in every language, every culture, and every religious tradition there are obscene, taboo words. People instinctively know it’s not right to use vulgar language.

Because scripture, reason, and instinct all seem to agree that profanity is bad, I consider it immoral and sinful. But I don’t look down on people with a different opinion as inferior to me or get upset and quarrel about it. I consider it a disputable matter (Romans 14:1) that many sincere believers view differently from me.

Sexual immorality, the use of mind-altering substances, modest dress, and many other behaviors fall into this category where cultural norms vary around the range of balance that God intended.

Moderation

Finally, when I think about how scripture applies to life, I consider balance between extremes. People have a tendency to push their agendas to extreme positions, like the legalistic Pharisees that Jesus so harshly criticized. They added a long list of extra rules to live by to make sure they didn’t violate the law of Moses. Some Jews chose the opposite extreme of ignoring the law altogether and doing whatever they could get away with. (I think most tax collectors chose this path.) We still have people today who try to overburden believers with excessive rules on one extreme, and those on the other extreme who rebel against rules and rationalize whatever they think is right in their own eyes.

So here’s what I think about the changing values of the culture I’m immersed in. In some areas, standards have declined—no doubt about it, but I disagree with the negative assessment that the overall culture is going down the toilet. “The good old days” that some people hearken back to had their sins also, and there are some admirable improvements in today’s value system. I also disagree with the assessment that modern culture has made progress and grown superior to the backward thinking of the old days. Sometimes we look back at the sins of our ancestors and we neglect to see their strengths while failing to recognize the dark side of our “progress.”

Our culture isn’t declining in all values, just in some areas such as sexual immorality, materialism, covetousness, pleasure seeking, violence, obscenity, etc. In other areas we’ve improved, such as protecting the weak, tolerating diversity, caring for creation, fighting disease, pursuing knowledge, providing education and employment opportunity for everyone, economic strength, democracy, human rights, trying to protect children and women from abuse, etc. (On fighting abuse, I think we’ve made this a priority, but I’m not sure how much we’ve accomplished. Abuse still seems to be rampant, especially sexual abuses which seem to be accelerating.)

We need to be honest when we assess our culture, recognizing both its successes and failures. And when we look at history, instead of looking back with blind admiration or blind criticism, we should be honest and see where our ancestors failed while recognizing their strengths. They were different, not superior or inferior. We should have the same honest heart when we view alternative cultures of today. Their values may fall short of ours in some areas, but they are most certainly higher in other areas.

Sexual Morality.

I live in a culture that seems obsessed with defining proper expectations toward sexual intimacy. Nothing seems to stir up angry opinions more rapidly than trying to tell people what you think is morally acceptable in the area of sex.

I believe sexual immorality falls in the area of our Creator’s unchanging absolute law. Some things, such as what’s considered modest or provocative clothing, are defined by what people generally consider proper and it changes with culture. Other aspects of sexual expression don’t change with cultural attitudes. Groups of people become fundamentally corrupt when they embrace certain sexual behaviors. These behaviors contribute to societal instability, pain, and suffering.

I’m not a sociologist who can claim professional insight or personal scientific research in this area. I’m a novice who’s simply spent a lot of time observing people and thinking about how our behaviors influence us. Societies with strong social pressures to conform to expectations of sexual morality tend to be more efficient and effective. A similar rule seems to apply to individuals. In any culture, individuals who set strict standards of sexual morality for themselves and discipline themselves to live by those standards tend to succeed in other areas of their lives.

There needs to be balance though. Societies that hyper-focus on sexual morality and oppressively punish offenders lose their effectiveness. Individuals who spend too much effort trying to suppress their sexual desires also suffer failures for neglect of other concerns. Sex exists for a reason and people are most successful and happy when it’s expressed in accordance with its design. Oppressive repression and unrestrained liberation of our sexual desires both have negative consequences for individuals and societies.

Why did God create sexual pleasure?

• To insure procreation.
• To encourage stable, loving marriages and secure, loving homes for nurturing children.
• As a gift for us to enjoy while we seek to do his will.

We should be seeking God first, and appreciating the pleasures he gives us with secondary gratitude. Instead we tend to seek pleasure first as a fundamental right and try to push God out of the way or manipulate him to serve us. Occasionally people take the opposite extreme and become overzealous in their fight against sexual immorality trying to deny the pleasures God created. People even go to the extreme belief that sex should never be enjoyed at all but only endured for procreation.

Societies at the oppressive end of the sexual morality balance tend to apply tyrannical punishments, condemn the innocent on misplaced suspicions, adopt overbearing gender rules, tolerate abuses of authority, etc. When cultures swing toward the permissive extreme of sexual morality they suffer more from sexual obsessions, exploitation, manipulation, coercion, violence and abuse.

This is the trend I’ve seen in America during my lifetime. Consider a list of sexual behaviors that strict application of scripture traditionally prohibited.

• Premarital sex
• Sex in dating
• Sex among friends
• Teen sex
• Pornography
• Masturbating
• Sadism & Masochism
• Homosexuality
• Transgender
• Multiple sex partners
• Adulterous affairs
• Swinging

When I was born most of these things were scandalous, hushed sins that decent people avoided even talking about. Throughout my life I’ve seen my culture transform to more open discussion; to making light of them through humor; to acceptance of whatever goes on in secret between consenting adults is fine; to coming out and having a right to publicly proclaim these practices; to even discriminating against people who oppose these behaviors.

Our culture has grown beyond tolerant of sexual pleasure seeking to make it a priority in life. We assume that finding sexual satisfaction is a fundamental human right and necessary to our pursuit of happiness. We worship sex like an idol and react harshly against people who tell us to deny ourselves.

Since western society places such high priority on finding sexual satisfaction we’ve grown to accept and even admire our sexual desires as long as they don’t involve children or forceful, unwanted advances against anyone perceived as weaker. We assume that anything consenting adults want to do is fine and has no negative impact on society. Our society has grown so confident in this value that we’ve become intolerant of people who still believe things on the list above are wrong.

As I’ve watched this cultural change unfold, I’ve noticed that we pay a price for our perceived freedom. I’ve seen an increase in STDs, sexual harassment, rape, incest, slavery, violence, abuse, and sex addictions. I’ve seen a swell of sexual habits people want to abstain from, such as lust and pornography, but can’t resist because temptation is so prolific and cultural pressure to resist is lacking. Actually, cultural pressure encourages yielding to the temptation rather than resisting. No one talks about the epidemic of teenage girls (and some boys too) who are pressured into unpleasant clumsy or rough sex even though they wanted to preserve their virginity for marriage or at least something more special than a selfish, pleasure seeking adolescent. I have heard a lot about the badgering of teens and pre-teens into “sexting” and frequent bullying of those who give in to it. Kids who refuse are bullied for refusing so they can’t win. With the growth of sexual tolerance in America I’ve witnessed more frequent, reckless pleasure seeking including substance abuse, pranks, foolish risky stunts, etc. Pedophilia, child pornography, and child access to pornography all seem to be exploding too. We are paying a heavy price for our sexual tolerance and our youth bear the brunt of the cost.

Personal Confession

I could be a case study in attempting to live by Biblical standards of sexual morality. As a child I accepted the idea that sex should be saved for one man with one woman only after marriage. When I read Jesus’ condemnation of lust (Matt 5:28) I took it literally and began a life long struggle. I’ve never conquered my natural inclination to lust for women, but I believe I’ve benefited from the effort. I’ve grown stronger and been kept humble. This is such a private and personal struggle that I think it’s up to each individual to decide how to fight it, but it helps to have a close, trusted friend to share ideas and experiences with. I’ve never found a prohibition against masturbation in scripture, but that habit so tightly connects to lust that I believe it should be resisted like lustful desires. Pornography is similar. It’s not explicitly forbidden in scripture, but the only reason we crave pornography is that it feeds our lustful nature so I lump it in there with lust.

I reject the “whatever consenting adults want to do doesn’t hurt anyone” philosophy because it’s absurd. Even if you ignore the Bible completely, any honest observer of human sociology knows that private vices can be a bridge that leads people to harmful action, and even if they never cross that bridge habitual indulgence in the private sin will change the way people behave in ways that negatively affect others. So, I take my struggle with lust very seriously. Not only do I believe it’s a struggle to obey my creator, but I believe my private failures damage me and indirectly hurt my wife, my children, and others. That keeps me humble and makes me persevere. On the other hand, I know everyone else carries on a similar private struggle so I don’t need to feel excessive shame over it and I don’t need to get carried away in an obsessive struggle over it either.

I fail, all the time, but I’m giving it the good fight with a reasonable level of success and my Creator forgives me. My wife does too. She appreciates my efforts. My failures make me an adulterer at heart, making me no better than anyone else who commits sexual sin, but since my sins are private, I believe the damage I cause to others is less than if I acted out my desires to commit adultery.

Social Tolerance

So, this brings me back to social tolerance of different opinions regarding sexual immorality. Most people agree that having a forbidden sexual desire is not sinful or immoral. It’s how you respond to that desire that counts. I believe that willfully dwelling on those desires is immoral lust, especially with a covetous nature where you’d actually act on the desires if you felt you could get away with it.

Some people argue that lust isn’t really immoral at all and it’s okay to use pornography or other private means to find release from your sexual desires. I disagree, but such private sins are the least damaging of the spectrum of sexual sins and the most difficult for society to control. I believe that a healthy society frowns on such behavior and it should be shameful to admit publicly, but otherwise it should be tolerated. Taking harsher measures is oppressive.

The next level of behavior involves secret sexual interaction outside of marriage between consenting adults. I believe these sins cause much more damage and should receive a harsher response, but I don’t believe in taking a witch-hunt approach to try and catch people guilty of such sin. If such an affair becomes public it should be regarded as a shameful failure. If the guilty party repents, it should be forgiven. Refusal to repent should have consequences for people in positions of trusted leadership such as pastors, elected government officials, teachers, scoutmasters, etc. Anyone in such a position who refuses to repent of sexual activity outside of marriage should be removed from their position of trust.

This is where I have my biggest clash with contemporary culture. Many outspoken Americans now believe that LGBTQ lifestyles are as morally acceptable as heterosexual relationships and they should receive the same equal protection from the government that racial minorities receive. I agree that they should be protected from harassment and abuse, but not from discrimination. If my son is uncomfortable sharing his college dorm room with a young lady who identifies as male, he shouldn’t be forced to. I feel the same about homosexuality. If a student’s roommate is openly engaging in behavior that they find intolerably immoral they should have a right to request a new roommate. That’s legitimate discrimination in my opinion. But he can’t abuse or harass his roommate for their morality differences.

Other areas where discrimination should be tolerated aren’t so obvious. Clearly, churches shouldn’t be forced to hire people openly living a lifestyle they consider sinful, but what about private businesses? When can they discriminate in their hiring practices against behaviors they believe are immoral? When can they discriminate against customers who ask them to provide a service supporting something they believe to be immoral? There is a clash of rights here. Where does a person’s right to live a lifestyle they believe is morally acceptable for themselves win out over a person’s right to not support or be exposed to what they consider immoral?

If a devoutly religious person believes profane language is immoral, they should have the freedom to dismiss employees who speak profanely, even if they just slip up once. Personally, I wouldn’t fire an employee for one accidental cuss word, but if they cussed repeatedly on the job I would. But that’s just my approach. People should have the right to discriminate against obscene language in their hiring if they believe it’s that important. If they zealously question employees, spy on them, etc., looking for a hint of profanity with an eagerness to fire them, that would be wrong in my opinion. Such zeal to catch people sinning and punish them is hypocrisy. But even that shouldn’t be against the law unless it’s widespread and seriously damaging society.

Or consider drunkenness. If a caterer considers getting drunk to be a sin and they refuse to cater a wedding because the couple talks about how much fun they’ll have getting drunk at the reception, I think they should have that right. It’s a permissible form of discrimination. The caterer might feel that they are implicitly condoning and encouraging drunkenness through the service they’re providing, or simply find it intolerably offensive. If that’s how they feel, they shouldn’t be forced to serve that customer.

I feel the same way about sexual immorality. Business owners should be allowed to hire people they consider morally upright. They might exclude unmarried couples living together, subscribers to pornographic media, LGBTQ lifestyles, sex while dating, adultery, or all of the above. Whatever someone considers sexually immoral, if they don’t want to hire employees who openly practice such things or provide services that condone or encourage them, they should have the freedom to make that choice.

Now our culture has begun prioritizing the rights of homosexuals and some other sexual lifestyles that used to be considered deviant because evidence shows that people are born that way and cannot change themselves, and experts tell us the behaviors are harmless. If that’s true, it makes sense that those people should be able to live their lives free of harassment and discrimination.

I agree that we should protect them from harassment such as people showing up at weddings, funerals, etc., yelling and carrying offensive signs. But taking legal action against people simply trying to live out their convictions as respectfully as they can is going too far. We shouldn’t be fining churches who won’t conduct same-sex marriages. Doctors who refuse to perform sex change operations shouldn’t be fired or discriminated against in promotions. We shouldn’t be suing caterers who don’t want to serve a homosexual reception.

Instead of taking sides and amending the constitution by decree, I believe the courts should either allow our elected representatives to draft laws that can be changed through legislative action, or develop guidelines to help people balance the interests of these two conflicting human rights concerns.

Society should harshly condemn greater sexual sins such as rape, child molesting, forced marriage, slavery, etc., with criminal punishments. These aren’t controversial. The private sins, things that some people think are fine if kept between consenting adults are debatable. Those practices shouldn’t be criminalized and people who practice them should be protected from harassment. People who believe such practices are sinful should also be protected from harassment and punitive legal action.

Back to the Bible

I’ve formed these views on social tolerance by considering what’s good for society whether or not the Bible is a valid source, but when I decide how to act for myself, I rely heavily on scripture because I’m convinced it is a message from my maker. So my belief that the Bible is God’s word has played a huge role in my life.

I’ve occasionally asked myself, “How would I be different if I considered the Bible to be just an inspired collection of writings with human errors just like other books by Christian authors?” Just knowing my power of reasoning and the strength of my sexual desires I can make a pretty good guess at what standards of sexual morality I’d be living by. My personal choices would be a lot different. I wouldn’t have waited for marriage but would have explored the full range of my sensual desires much earlier. Now, as a married man, I believe I would seek sexual pleasure in prostitutes and affairs. I’d accept the concept of what’s done in private between consenting adults is harmless and no one else’s business. If my wife wouldn’t approve, I’d keep it secret. I’d strive to avoid disease, but my intense desires would lead me to risk taking that could infect me. Even if I was lucky enough to avoid STDs and never get caught, my actions would not be without consequences. I would be less of a man, and I’d suffer lost joy and peace. My marriage would suffer. Amanda would suffer. My kids would suffer. So, even if I’m wrong about the Bible being God’s miraculous message to humanity, I think people all around me are better off for my belief.

Pornography and lust are similar. I can keep it in the privacy of my mind, but it pollutes me in a way that makes me less of a husband, father, friend, teacher, scout leader, etc. My private pleasure seeking wastes time and diminishes me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, even physically. I hurt myself and everyone around me. So I do my best to live by Biblical standards, even when they seem impossibly difficult. But I keep my efforts reasonably balanced. I don’t want to be so obsessed about avoiding sexual sin in my thoughts that I’m neglecting God’s call to do good. I think more about how I can live a good life, outwardly loving my neighbors, than how I can avoid private sins, fighting battles with my mind.

Everyone’s struggle to be good is unique, but we all struggle in similar ways and we all benefit when we keep up the fight with balance, not judging ourselves or others as superior or inferior, just different.