November 24, 2017 The Secrets of Contentment
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Apostle Paul, AD 61, Philippians 4:11-12, NIV 2011)
Discontent seems to be the norm for humanity. Regardless of our life circumstances, people find reason to complain, criticize and generally feel unhappy about things. Often our discontent pushes beyond frustration to hostile anger against people, our present circumstances, our past, and even our prospects for the future. We work zealously for what we think we want, but nothing is ever good enough. We want more, or something different. Satisfaction eludes us all; well, almost all of us.
There seems to be a small minority of people who find contentment in all life circumstances. Rich, or poor, powerful or powerless, healthy or sick, some people just seem content no matter what. In fact, it seems easier to find these people among the less fortunate in life—people who lack what we normally strive for in our pursuit of happiness. You can often find them in low-income homes where opportunities are limited. Occasionally you can find them in more affluent and influential settings where you’d expect people to be content, and you can also find them among the most oppressive circumstances, such as struggling through deadly, painful disease or even in prison, where you’d least expect to find contentment.
Corrie Ten Boom, in her book The Hiding Place, tells of internment in a German concentration camp during World War 2. She was imprisoned with her sister, Betsie. Even when everyone else despaired, Betsie found contentment. She managed some cheerfulness and tried to encourage others. She found reasons to rejoice and be grateful. She even thanked God for fleas! Her contentment endured all the humiliation and suffering of the horrific Nazi death camps until she passed away from the deplorable conditions.
The secret of contentment that the Apostle Paul refers to in Philippians 4 doesn’t come from the circumstances of life on earth. It’s internal, in our attitudes and spiritual condition. I’ve found numerous things that seem to enhance contentment in my life and the lives of other people I’ve known. You don’t need all of these to be content, but every one of them seems to make a difference. Even if you’re far from contentment, seeking out a few simple things from this list can ease your discontent.
Choose love, not selfishness. Selfish pursuits are never satisfied. Acts of love give the greatest satisfaction.
Seek wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom can help us avoid some pitfalls of foolishness that destroy contentment such as the meaningless pursuit of pleasure, wealth, power, achievement, etc. (Ecc 2:1-13) But the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom can also be wearisome. (Ecc 12:12-13) Seeking wisdom can backfire if you neglect the other things in this list.
Grow close to God. Spiritual disciplines such as Bible study, prayer, sacrifice, service, and submission all bring us closer to that state of contentment that defies circumstance.
Admire and trust in God. Believing that God exists can help some, but when we sincerely admire and trust our creator, our outlook and attitude dramatically improve.
Serve God and needy people (2 Tim 4:6-7). I mentioned service as a spiritual discipline to draw close to God, but service helps improve our outlook too. In fact, serving others helps people who don’t even believe in God to enjoy life more.
Physical fitness. I believe taking care of our bodies is also a spiritual discipline that brings us closer to God (1 Cor 6:19-20; 1 Tim 4:8), but all people, regardless of their faith beliefs, report increased contentment with physical fitness.
Family and friends. This one also applies whether you believe in God or not. Building strong relationships with family members and friends, and spending time with those people, improves your contentment with life.
Think about good things (Philippians 4:8). Simply spending time thinking about what’s good in the world, and beyond this world, enhances our sense of satisfaction in life.
Enjoy good things. I’ve learned to appreciate good, and not dwell on the negative. It’s not blind optimism that denies the unpleasant realities of life. Rather I allow myself to find and enjoy simple pleasures while I avoid complaining about the abundant shortcomings that I face. It’s not a striving, pleasure seeking life. It’s a casual turning of attention toward what’s good while turning a Teflon coated back to what’s not good, unless I can make it better.
Change things for the better when you can, accept what you can’t change. And use wisdom to know the difference. This is a paraphrase of a Reinhold Niebuhr quote that my grandma had on her living room wall when I was growing up. I embraced it as part of my life philosophy.
Be thankful (attitude of gratitude) in all circumstances. Continually look for things to thank God for. This is 100% effective. I’ve never seen grateful people plagued by discontent. (Eph 5:20)
Be humble. People tend to admire self-confidence, but self-confidence doesn’t produce contentment. Humility does. This applies to both our thinking and our feelings. Some people trust their reasoning abilities. Some people trust their gut or instincts. Some say they trust what their heart tells them. Those are all deceptive. I don’t trust my feelings too much, but don’t trust reasoning too much either. I hold on to my own ideas and beliefs loosely, knowing that my sight is limited. This humility reduces my frustration with people who are different or when things don’t work out the way I want them to.
The cure for discontent, or the secret of contentment, however you look at it, is more than just a one-pill treatment. Look at it as a buffet of opportunity. There are so many ways to find contentment you can pick a few that suit your tastes and start there. Devour them. Sample some of the others. If your appetite for satisfaction is big enough taste them all!